sting Page 14 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Anyone Want To Apply For Texas's Defensive Coordinator Job?
The school's job posting is up, and from this we can learn all sorts of fascinating stuff about the position. It entails "direct customer contact," "exposure to large crowds," and "climbing of ladders," for instance. Also: "Hours per week: 40.00 Variable."...

Tevez Fists Ferdinand — In Stunning High Definition
The Picture of the Millennium brought to life in glorious HD....

Bud Selig Thinks Abner Doubleday Invented Baseball. Of Course He Does.
Is there a better summation of the Bud Selig Era than the fact that the man himself recently declared in a letter, "I really believe that Abner Doubleday is the 'Father of Baseball'"?...

A Yankee Stadium Memory: "Their Look Didn't Say, 'Shut Up.' It Said They Wanted To Kill Me."
The following is taken from Bronx Banter Presents: Lasting Yankee Stadium Memories, edited by Alex Belth and featuring recollections of the old ballpark—sorry, stadium—from the likes of Pete Hamill, Charles P. Pierce, and Joe Posnanski. Bob Costas has something in there, too, I guess. Here, the grea...

Breaking Down The NHL Broadcast Rights Possibilities
The NHL's broadcasting deal with NBC and Versus expires at the end of the upcoming season. Sports Business Journal took a look at the likely contenders to sign up the league. Let's break 'em down....

Fräulein Soccer Player Treats Other Fräulein Soccer Player In Very Un-Fräulein-Like Way
Taoba Kemmy of FFC Turbine Potsdam is not to be messed with when she's taking a throw-in because she may well throw it at your face. Don't believe it? Just ask FFC Frankfurt's Kerstin Garfrekes. [Unprofessional Foul]...

A Look Inside The NFL's Drug Testing Methods, Chad Ochocinco's Bladder
Mr. Ochocino found this note taped to his locker yesterday. It's just the high-tech, low-margin-for-error procedure we've come to expect from the NFL's steroid testing....

Would The World Anti-Doping Agency Kindly Shut The Hell Up?
The World Anti-Doping Agency, i.e., the people who once banned caffeine, now demands that baseball violate federal labor law and unilaterally impose a testing regime of dubious efficacy for a substance of uncertain benefits. Why does anyone take WADA seriously anymore?...

Jack Tatum Killed Darryl Stingley, And We Made Him Do It
Football fans for decades have demanded bigger, stronger, faster players and harder hits. Jack Tatum gave you what you wanted. Were you not entertained?...

Win The Game, Carl Pavano's Gonna Fist Your Anus. That's Just The Way Life Goes.
Delmon Young's single capped a four-run ninth, and set off a celebration the likes of which his colon had never seen. Also, this is pretty much the perfect metaphor for what Carl Pavano did to the Yankees for four years....

Jousting Is The Next Big Sport, Says Newspaper Known For Inventing Trends
The New York Times has a big ol' magazine piece on the popularity of full-contact jousting. You'd think it'd be hipsters doing it ironically, but no, they're manly men. Action footage after the jump....

Tampa Bay Ray Falls Prey To Actual Stingray
Sean Rodriguez was stung in the surf off of St. Pete Monday. Geez, lose the first two to Boston, and already the ocean is rebelling. Or maybe the Ray was just another Northeast transplant. [St. Petersburg Times]...

Can Television Save Boxing From Itself?
Boxing's inconsistent drug policies have thus far deprived us of the fight everyone wants. But a German TV station has taken the initiative and mandated that all of its fights will use the strictest testing standards. Could this work here?...

Exciting Development In The Abridgement Of Athletes' Rights: Blood Testing For HGH!
MLB plans to implement blood testing for HGH in the minors, and the NFL wants to start drawing blood, too, and somehow this is being framed as an exciting development instead of yet more tilting and yet another windmill....

Just In Case There Was Any Doubt That It Was Greg Oden's Penis
The formal letters from Oden's management, BDA, have invaded the inboxes of websites across the country, including (surprise) ours. The letter is attached below. It is safe for work....

What to Watch Today
Just because we're never afraid to be too servicey, here's a rundown of some notable televised sporting events today, starting with college football....

This Is A Future NFL Linebacker
How did Bengals tight end Chase Coffman develop his "legendary" toughness? You guessed it ... mutton bustin'. [Bengals.com; pic via]...

Ochocinco's Forebearer Is... Justin Gimelstob?
Chad Ochocinco — né Johnson, he of no further introduction — and Justin Gimelstob, he of middling tennis stature, have more in common than what hits the eye. Actually, they really don't. But they both... like Twitter?...

Everything You Ever Wanted To Know About Urine Samples
The dramatic life and times of an Olympic doping control officer: "I need to see from mid-torso to mid-thigh. I need to see a clear shot of the sample going into the cup....I call it liquid gold.'' [Boston Globe]...

Geovany Soto Likes That Weed
Pictured, Left to Right: Chicago Cubs catcher Geovany Soto and the sweet, sticky herb that he loves to burn and inhale into his lungs, an activity he somehow got caught doing around the time of the World Baseball Classic....