stupid Page 20 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Two Golfers, A Kicker, A Lemonade-Lovin' Linebacker, And One Crazy Goalie: The Few Athletes Who Endorsed Chick-Fil-A
A rule of thumb: if you'd like to learn about the next culture-war shitstorm before it hits, you're best served by visiting sort-of Bruins goalie Tim Thomas's Facebook page. (I say "sort-of" because Thomas has announced he'll take next year off from the NHL.) Thomas weighed in on Obamacare and birth...
Here Is A Perfectly Ordinary Graphic From Fox Sports Ohio
It was sent to us by a reader named Steve, who insists it says more than what it was designed to say. I mean, it's just the logos of the four teams with the best records in baseball, in order, from left to right. No, really. Click the image to enlarge it so you can see those records for yourself. It...
Has Mitch Moreland Doomed His Newborn Son By Naming Him Crue?
Drew just went over this not even a couple of weeks ago, the seemingly growing epidemic of worsening baby names across the country. And now, much to our (read: his) chagrin, the newborn son of Mitch Moreland has become the latest poster child for this wave of unholy child-naming....
Will Foursquare Take Down Joe Paterno Statue Check-In?
As Rodney Erickson struggles with the most important decision ever in the history of Penn State, we're left to wonder when will foursquare tear down its Joe Paterno Statue check-in. As everyone knows, the foursquare page has become the symbol of this social media statuary controversy and emotions a...
Here Is The Most Insane Review Of <em>The Dark Knight Rises</em> You Will Ever Read
Do you remember those kids in your college literature course who were the absolute worst during discussions? The ones who would make completely off-the-wall statements about even the most straightforward pieces of literature. The ones who would say shit like, "Actually, I think Bartleby The Scriven...
Every Winner Of The Ernest Hemingway Look-Alike Contest, In Descending Order Of How Much They Look Like Ernest Hemingway
Every year, on the third Saturday in July, Sloppy Joe's Bar in Key West hosts the Hemingway Look-Alike Society's Hemingway Look-Alike Contest. The 2012 champion will be named tomorrow. We went through 31 years of winners, and ranked them all on how much they look like Ernest Hemingway, starting with...
Here Is The Inevitable Photo Of Pedobear Posing Alongside The Joe Paterno Statue
The attached photo was snapped and sent into us by an anonymous tipster. Yes, that is a person in a Pedobear costume standing mockingly next to the Paterno statue. We present it to you without further comment, although we are rather impressed with the lighting....
New Statistics Unveiled, Oddibe McDowell Likely a Hall Of Famer
The fine folks at baseball-reference have this to offer, just below "transactions" and "salaries" on Oddibe McDowell's player page. Don't get too excited though, as with any new stat, only time will tell if the information is complete and accurate, so be sure to read the fine print....
American Baby Names Are Somehow Getting Even Worse
My wife has a subscription to Parents magazine, and the fun thing about Parents magazine is that every issue is virtually identical. Whether you pick up the June 2008 issue or the March 2012 issue, you're still getting all the same shit, including items like "567 fun knitting crafts to help stave of...
Your Kids Will Love Playing "Human Bowling Ball," The Most Insane Backyard Game Ever
It costs $4,500, it's easy to set up, and it lets you live out your American Gladiators-induced dreams of riding around inside a giant ball, wreaking havoc on your surroundings. It's called the Human Bowling Ball, and it's basically a giant, inflatable bowling game that lets you (the ball) knock dow...
Throwing A Baseball At 90 Percent Speed Of Light Would Kill Thousands
The artistically inclined folks over at XKCD (authors of one of my favorite web comics ever) devoted one of their What If? segments today to the logically insane yet weirdly interesting scenario of what would happen if someone pitched a baseball at 90 percent the speed of light. Using actual science...
What If Joe Paterno Was Innocent? Hypothetical Dialogues From A Dark Time At Penn State
Circumstantially, the Jerry Sandusky case keeps getting worse and worse for Joe Paterno. Circumstantially. This past weekend, CNN described an email that Penn State's now-former athletic director, Tim Curley, allegedly sent to other university officials in 2001, canceling plans to report Sandusky to...
Tony La Russa Explains Decision Not To Put Johnny Cueto On All-Star Team By Admitting To Violating MLB CBA
Uh oh, we got ourselves a scandal, or something. Cincinnati Reds manager Dusty Baker and former St. Louis Cardinals manager Tony La Russa have never been especially fond of each other. Their relationship got even testier over the weekend when La Russa, who was in charge of making final selections f...
MLB Announces Starting Lineups For 83rd All-Star Game, Fans Everywhere Pissed
The MLB announced the starters for this year's midsummer exhibition-game-that-is-not-really-an-exhibition-game-because-home-field-advantage-is-inexplicably-awarded-to-the-league-that-wins-this-exhibition-game. That means it's time for everyone to gripe about how Player X should have been a starter ...
Congratulations To Bleacher Report On Its $200 Million Acquisition: Slideshow
In honor of Turner's nearly finalized $200 million purchase of Bleacher Report, here's a congratulatory slideshow, featuring a bunch of pictures of burning money. Please click through....
There's A Naughtily Named Pitching Matchup In The National League Today
Check it out: Petco Park this afternoon will host a hilarious sadomasochistic pitching showdown between Marquis and Cain! Thwack! You've been very naughty! Double entendres in baseball can't get much saucier than that....
Fox's Baseball Analysis Continues To Get More In-Depth
Here's a shot from Saturday's Cubs-Giants matchup, in which the Ford "keys to the game" were so basic they were more apt of being sponsored by Power Wheels or perhaps Matchbox....
Where In The World Was Chuck Knoblauch This Weekend?
When a story involving a visibly intoxicated Chuck Knoblauch hitting on women on a late-night Brooklyn subway ride surfaced yesterday, we were surprised and not surprised. Surprised because Knoblauch is about the most random former major leaguer imaginable—a good-to-very-good infielder who won four ...
LeBron James Cattily Responds To Lance Stephenson's Choke Gesture
Here's an example of that silly 24-hour news cycle we were chatting about earlier. Lance Stephenson made a choking gesture the other night as LeBron missed some free throws and now it's a federal case. Stephenson actually felt the need to apologize for the performance and has vowed to keep all futu...