stupid Page 26 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

More Misplaced Rhetoric From Pro Football Talk
De Smith says the NFL is the "first league in the history of sports that has ever sued to not play their game," which, like a lot of slogans, isn't entirely accurate (the NFL hasn't sued), even if it accurately conveys the sense that the NFL is taking great pains to get its lockout. Mike Florio has ...

The Bizarre Cult Of Pro-Owner NFL Fanboys
Here's a tidy summation of how we've managed to get to where we are with the NFL lockout. A few years ago, the players and owners agreed to a new CBA, with only Ralph Wilson and Mike Brown voting against the agreement, in Wilson's case because he's old and easily confused by things....

And Now A Picture Of The Worst Custom Heat Jersey Ever Made
In honor of the Heat/Celtics series, this guy has made a video of how to wash your car and clean your ceiling fan with a Paul Pierce jersey. And he did it all while wearing this obnoxious custom-made Big Three jersey....

Update: Oddibe McDowell's Water Bill Is Now $80.21
Via Broward County Water and Wastewater Services....

The Stupid Barry Bonds Prosecution, In A Stupid Nutshell
As you all know, Barry Bonds was convicted yesterday on a single count of rambling in the first degree. (No, seriously. Seven years of this shit, and that's what they got him on — evading a question he ultimately answered. Aggravated incoherence. A felony charge of Not Being Freaking Pericles in the...

Craigslist's Going Rate For A Misspelled Larry Johnson Chiefs Jersey Is $30
"Offered is the pictured Larry Johnson Kansas City Chiefs jersey by Reebok NFL Equipment." I hpoe he tkaes PyaPla. [Craigslist Raleigh, h/t Brant]...

Jose Canseco's Latest Tragicomedy Plays Out On Boston Radio
The controversy over Jose Canseco's no-show at one of his silly celebrity boxing matches has reached almost a full week of coverage thanks to the public piss-off between Jose and promoter Damon Feldman. Did Jose knowingly dick over the fight promoter and send his twin brother Ozzie to fight for him...

Out-Of-Date Fantasy Advice From Someone Who Isn't Really Paying Attention
If you take fantasy sports seriously, you read the experts. Disclaimer: I am not an expert, but I will write about fantasy sports anyway. And if you want to win your leagues handily, I can't think of a better advisor than someone who only stays half aware of what's actually happening in sports. So w...

Update: Oddibe McDowell's Water Bill Is Now $118.01
Via Broward County Water and Wastewater Services....

Pat Riley Dance Party!
These are so stupid, we know. And they amuse only us. But damned if we can help ourselves from taking a snippet of video of Pat Riley dancing at a Heat rally and put it toward our own selfish editing purposes....

LeBron James Dance Party!
LeBron was on Ellen! So that's fun. Also fun: LeBron dancing with an aerobics class, set to a very appropriate music choice for a Miami guy....

Tom Brady Dance Party!
Today, footage emerged of a be-ponytailed Tom Brady being getting his goofy white guy on in the streets of Rio. But I don't think the few seconds were enough to really capture the essence of dancin' Tom. Consider this our contribution to the institution of sports journalism....

Robot Seal Defeats Tubby Smith In Free Throw Battle
This week, we were tipped off to two free throw highlight videos, which are never really highlight videos at all. One was of human coach Tubby Smith, and the other was of a fuzzy robot seal from Taiwan. The natural response was to set the two against each other, with their original soundtracks inc...

Breaking: Oddibe McDowell's Water Bill Is $88.61 This Month
Sometimes we get wonderful tips, about corked bats or team finances. Other times we get sent former journeyman outfielder Oddibe McDowell's water bill in Broward County....

Foolish New York Assemblyman Makes MMA In New York More Dangerous
Way back when (circa 2000), MMA was banned in many states. In the places where it was legal, the bloodsport was regulated with varying degrees of competency. Today, the MMA map looks quite different as sanctioning and better rules have spread across the land. With one notable holdout....

In Which We Veer Toward Animal Cruelty In Our Inaugural Lobster Roof Race
We received a LobsterGram, it's less delicious than a candygram, but it's more fun because it comes with live lobsters. We didn't know what to do with them (before cooking them) so we raced them on the Gawker HQ roof deck. Watch....

Another Children's Treasury Of Bizarre Injuries
Last year, we brought you some highlights from the Sun-Sentinel's database of emergency room visits. They've updated it for the holidays, so we've picked it through for some of the stranger hospitalizations....

Breaking: America, Not So Bright
The Ryder Cup kicked off today in Wales. But where exactly is Wales, ESPN.com users?...