stupid Page 3 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Sacramento Kings Use Their Free Time To Get Everyone To Argue About The Order Of Operations
Today the Sacramento Kings and De’Aaron Fox invited everyone into their shared mind palace when they asked what the answer to this seemingly simple math equation. The result was chaos, and it nearly broke the Deadspin staff, although to be fair, basically any meaningless argument can break the Deads...
Disgraced Racist "British" Political PR Doofus From Seattle: I'm A Cowboy
If you’re familiar with catastrophically incompetent Republican politics and PR doofus Liz Mair at all, first of all I’m so sorry about your brain worms problem. But also, it’s likely you recall her viral Twitter meltdown in January, when she posted an insane, racist gripe about Spanish-speaking peo...
Joel Embiid Has Diarrhea
In the spring of 2019, writer Giri Nathan asked an editor if he could write a blog about Joel Embiid in the style of writer Gay Talese’s “Frank Sinatra Has A Cold.” The Sixers player was irritable and dealing with various ailments as his team fought a tight playoff series against the Raptors. “Why t...
Christian Yelich Was One Foot Away From The Perfect Home Run
It’s early enough in the MLB season that pitchers still feel comfortable in trying to test the red-hot Christian Yelich whenever he’s at the plate. Last year’s NL MVP hit two more dingers on Saturday against the Dodgers, which brought him to a league-leading total of 13 home runs. Both homers were p...
Stephen A. Smith Defends The Honor Of Co-Host And Alleged Farter Max Kellerman
Stephen A. Smith isn’t the prime suspect in the First Take Fart Mystery, but he’s still getting grilled for it. On Smith’s radio show Thursday, a caller started off with a comment about the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, but turned it into a thought on Max Kellerman’s allegedly stinky rear....
Who Farted On <i>First Take</i>?
Here it is, the only reason to ever discuss First Take in a serious manner. During a characteristically loud discussion about Kevin Durant in Monday’s episode, it very much sounded like someone coughed as a maneuver to cover up a fart. But who was the culprit?...
Lonzo Ball Should Get These Tattoos Next
As Big Baller Brand apparently unravels amid an embezzlement scandal, Lonzo Ball looks ready to shift loyalties. The Lakers guard has already covered up his BBB logo tattoo with a pair of impossibly shaped dice. Once you see those bones, they’re unforgettable, and unmistakably familiar, too. Their d...
Upset Of The Day: Gardner-Webb Toppled By Team No One Believed In
The Virginia Cavaliers proved today that truly, anything is possible during March Madness, as head coach Tony Bennett’s crew upset powerhouse Gardner-Webb for a 71-56 victory in the first round....
Dear USC, Please Give Us Scholarships As We Also Did Good At Sports
The FBI documents on the massive college admissions bribery scandal suggest that we can improve our odds of being accepted into elite colleges and also the University of Southern California by submitting photo evidence of us playing sports. Some of the Deadspin staff would like to take advantage of ...
Dirk Nowitzki Should Play Another Season And Make It Awkward
In the final seconds of Monday’s Mavericks-Clippers game, with the score decided, Los Angeles head coach Doc Rivers called a timeout so that the home crowd could give Dirk Nowitzki a proper ovation in what could be his last game in the city....
Don't Throw Away A Friendship With A Billionaire For A Scrub With 2.4 Win Shares
Khloe Kardashian’s boyfriend, Cleveland Cavaliers center Tristan Thompson, who reportedly cheated on Khloe while she was pregnant with their daughter True, reportedly cheated on her again. This time, it was with a lady named Jordyn Woods, who is the best friend of—and has a makeup line with—Khloe’s ...
White Sox Don't Sign Player
Kenny Williams, executive vice-president of the Chicago White Sox, spoke to reporters today about his team’s failed pursuit of Manny Machado, who will, per reports, sign with the San Diego Padres for $300 million or so:...
Let’s Spend Way Too Much Time Scrutinizing The Body Language Of Kyrie Irving And Jayson Tatum In This Rising Stars Clip
As much as the NBA’s Rising Stars Challenge is not an actual game—it’s more of a glorified, mediocre dunk contest with all of the injury risk and none of the payoff—the league insists on maintaining some semblance of the itinerary that actual NBA games have before, during and after the exhibition. S...
Thirsty Rockets Gloat Over Video Of James Harden Committing Grave Robbery
The Houston Rockets resorted to just the saddest damn evidence imaginable Monday night, in an effort to push back against James Harden’s well-earned reputation as an often distracted and indifferent defensive player:...
The Winners And Losers Of Super Bowl LIII
Super Bowl LIII occurred, having a number of moments on and off the field. But which ones were the most? Which people and entities had the big night? Let’s break it all down in this edition of Deadspin’s Winners and Losers....
What Time Does 'What Time Does The Super Bowl Start?' Start?
The time has come once again for the “big game,” the football-related contest that surrounds every first Sunday of February, the race to the top for the big trophy. That trophy is, of course, dominance over other grimy web publications who engage in the now-annual, semi-hallowed practice of debasing...
If You've Been Waiting All These Years To See Bobby Hurley Eat Some Shit On A Basketball Court, Congratulations, Your Time Has Come
Arizona State toppled Arizona in overtime Thursday night, 95–88, breaking a streak of six straight Wildcat victories in the rivalry, stretching back to 2015. Great. Tremendous. Now let us spend several minutes together chuckling at the sight of grey-haired, 47-year-old Bobby Hurley eating a damn bas...
I, The One Person Who Still Doesn't Believe In The Patriots, Know They'll Finally Be Exposed As A Sham In Their Third Straight Super Bowl
After my previous missive, one written before the New England Patriots defeated the Kansas City Chiefs in the AFC title game and earned a trip to the Super Bowl, I had many common oafs criticize my prognostication through electronic mail and other various mediums. You lummox, these messages would st...
NBA Fines Anthony Davis For Self-Tampering In Public, Alarming Onlookers<em></em>
ESPN’s Adrian Wojnarowski reported Monday that the NBA was investigating Pelicans center Anthony Davis for self-tampering in front of God and everyone. Davis expressing (through his agent) the desire to be traded, on and all over the record, scandalized the Pelicans to the point that the team put ou...