This week, in the annual Body Issue of ESPN The Magazine, Zlatan showed his ass, and friends, the ass is a masterpiece.
This is your post-tattoo cleanup guide.
You can feel however you want about LeBron James—he’s maybe the greatest professional basketball player of all time, so some of your feelings are going to fall under the category of “wrong”—but you can only feel one way about this tattoo. It is perfect.
Because of an injury to Tony Parker, rookie Dejounte Murray has earned more minutes as the Spurs have advanced. This might be why everyone’s now noticed that Murray has an arm tattoo which looks like the evil twin of the honey bun that looks like E.T., or a facial composite of one of those Madballs, or the moon from Majora’s Mask.
Adam Lallama. Adam Lallama. A llama, with Adam Lallana’s face. I’m almost tearing up over the beauty of it all.
This is Cory Brown. He is a fan of Iowa Hawkeyes football, and has Kirk Ferentz’s face tattooed on his calf.
I don’t begrudge this Cubs fan his enthusiasm or his desire to express it, even in a way that feels like the visual equivalent of using plural first person pronouns when recounting the accomplishments of more athletic strangers. I just think he made some choices that shouldn’t be emulated. Let’s look at where this…
Here is a story of love, hacking, misspellings, “Becky”, and tattoos, in seven tweets:
Jung-ho Kang’s first season with the Pittsburgh Pirates was cut short last September when Chris Coghlan ruthlessly slid into Kang’s leg, breaking it and tearing his MCL. Kang, who finished third in NL Rookie of the Year voting, has spent all offseason rehabbing his leg, but isn’t sure if he’ll make it back by opening…
If you’re a Penn State fan, you probably remember current Jaguars receiver Allen Robinson’s leaping catch that set up the game-tying touchdown in the 2013 Homecoming game against Michigan. From this point forward, you will also remember that catch if you ever see Robinson with his shirt off:
On Friday, we asked you to tell us about your worst tattoos, and boy, did you deliver. You spilled stories of mascot tattoos, band-inspired debacles, inked monuments to past relationships, and so many more reminders of regret that are now permanently stained onto your body. Here are the best of the worst.
Oh, you have a tribal band around your bicep? I can tell you were cool in 1997. Maybe it’s a butterfly on the small of your back or a shamrock on your foot to celebrate your shred of Irish heritage. They might call up feelings of regret, but bad tattoos are nothing if not stories to tell. So tell us about yours.
Aaron Hernandez was in court again today, entering a not-guilty plea to witness intimidation charges stemming from an incident when he allegedly shot his friend in the face for talking about those other guys he allegedly shot. Anyway, Aaron Hernandez got himself a new tattoo in prison.
I mean, sure, why not?
I want to call this dude a poor, unlucky bastard, but he didn't have to go and make that bet. Maintained his honor, though:
This here is a 21-year-old Pats fan from Waltham, Mass., who is really changing the ill-advised sports tattoo game.
Hey, man, don't ever call Rick Ross a bandwagon fan.