ted Page 193 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
This Is Too Many Stuffed Toys
I liked stuffed toys. I had a bunch when I was little and despite being 35, I still have Doggy—a stuffed toy that is older than I am, and which is missing its nose and one eye, and also may actually be a rabbit. I had to learn to sew to re-attach Doggy’s head recently....
Shithead Soccer Fan Appears To Peg MLS Player In The Face With Trash
In the 22nd minute of the second leg of the MLS Eastern Conference Championship, underway Thursday night in New Jersey, a Red Bulls fan in the front row appeared to peg an item—possibly trash or a cup—into the face of Atlanta United midfielder Miguel Almirón:...
Manchester United Score Late Winner, José Mourinho Freaks The Fuck Out
José Mourinho fancies himself something of a rock star, so it was fitting when he reacted to Marouane Fellaini rescuing Manchester United with a late winner by treating a couple water bottle carriers like a guitar and kick drum at the end of a metal show....
<i>Sports Illustrated</i> Erects Towering Straw Man In Shitty Drew Brees Cover Story
Sports Illustrated’s latest cover story is about New Orleans Saints quarterback Drew Brees, who is in his 18th season in the NFL and has long been acknowledged as one of the greatest of all time. In the waning years of a great player’s career it makes sense that SI would do a big ol’ feature on th...
Barstool Sports Chud Has Heated Gaming Moment, Tells Virtual Joel Embiid To "Go Back To Africa"
If there’s one thing that is true in this world, it’s that anyone who spends a substantial amount of their time recording themselves playing video games will eventually say something regrettable on camera. There have been many heated gaming moments in the past, and there will be more in the future....
Holy Shit, That Election Was Marginally Less Depressing Than Expected
If I may take you Inside The Game for a moment: the Deadcast was in Tennessee this week, for an intimate and robustly seasoned and extremely fun live recording at Headquarters Beercade in downtown Nashville on Monday. The plan was to put that podcast online and on this website today, and we are inde...
José Mourinho Caps Quintessential Win With Quintessential Assholery
Juventus had little trouble bossing Manchester United in the Champions League today. The Italian team was in control for the vast majority of the match and, if not for some shaky finishing, probably would’ve won with ease. But even during this struggle of a season, United manager José Mourinho prove...
CJ McCollum Had Some Sort Of Vendetta Against Donte DiVincenzo
CJ McCollum dropped 40 points on the Bucks during a 118-103 win at home and for some reason, he felt the need to embarrass Donte DiVincenzo at any given opportunity in the process. The signs were there early that McCollum wanted to sap the soul out of the rookie. Just over halfway through the first ...
DC United's Nick DeLeon Scores Clutch Game-Tying Goal, Then Chokes Away Decisive Penalty Kick
Well this was all very dramatic. DC United were down 2–1 in the 116th minute of Thursday night’s knockout round match against Columbus Crew, until Nick DeLeon ripped home a clutch equalizer from the edge of the box off a blown clearance....
Dr. Z's Lesser-Known Book Was One Of The Truest Things About Football Ever Written<em></em>
Longtime football writer Paul Zimmerman, better known as Dr. Z, died today at age 86, his former colleague Peter King announced. Zimmerman hadn’t written for years due to a series of strokes, but for a time he was one of the best football writers out there and worth remembering today. Here’s what I ...
Cristiano Ronaldo Faces, Mostly Dodges Questions About The Rape Allegation Against Him
Today, Cristiano Ronaldo had his first public press conference since Las Vegas police earlier this month reopened a 2009 investigation of a rape allegation against him. The Juventus star was asked directly about the accusation, but he responded by primarily talking about how great his life is....
Everyone, Including The FA, Is Overreacting To The José Mourinho-Marco Ianni Thing
Just after Chelsea’s Ross Barkley scored the equalizer in the 96th minute of their match against Manchester United on Saturday, Chelsea assistant coach Marco Ianni ran onto the field in front of United manager José Mourinho, heaved an almighty fist pump, and then jogged back to his bench. As Ianni h...
Old Man Wayne Rooney Has Officially Dragged D.C. United Into The Playoffs
Three months after sitting at the bottom of the MLS’s Eastern Conference playoff race, D.C. United have secured a playoff spot, thanks to the efforts of Old Man Wayne Rooney. He scored two goals in today’s 3-1 victory against NYCFC to make the postseason berth official....
José Mourinho No Longer Tolerates Over-Celebrating, Apparently
After a second Anthony Martial goal put Manchester United up 2-1 against Chelsea in the 73rd minute, it looked like José Mourinho had inspired his side, yet again, to put in a second-half comeback performance to seal a win. Three point would have given Mourinho his first victory at Stamford Bridge s...
Albert Breer Needs Help! He Is In Danger Of Drowning In All The Water He Is Carrying For NFL Owners!<em></em>
Sports Illustrated football writer/NFL mouthpiece Albert Breer has made it his life’s work to cozy up to NFL owners and GMs, eagerly slurp up their self-serving bullshit, and then vomit it back up on readers with an air of smug self-satisfaction. This is generally fine so far as it goes—it’s useful ...
Don't Fall In Love With Ted Cruz, Or You'll Live An Unfulfilled Life
Presumably this Heidi Cruz profile, by Elaina Plott at The Atlantic, was written in an effort to provide some sort of human element to Ted Cruz’s re-election campaign, as he is incapable of doing that himself. Instead, it came off as a dire warning of what will happen to a person’s life if they fuck...
Old Man Wayne Rooney Adds Ridiculous Free-Kick Goal To MLS Highlight Reel
Former Manchester United star Wayne Rooney’s first season in MLS was already a huge success before last night’s game against Toronto. He came into it with nine goals and seven assists in 18 appearances, and as the owner of one of the best soccer highlights you’ll ever see. In the 18th minute of last...
Usain Bolt, Aspiring Soccer Player, Scores Two Goals In His First Start
Usain Bolt’s conversion from track star to soccer player continues apace. In August, Bolt got his first taste of the footy when he came off the bench for Australian team Central Coast Mariners in a friendly match and actually acquitted himself fairly decently. He built on that performance today, mak...
The USWNT Looks As Good As Ever And Is Rolling Toward The World Cup
CARY, N.C. — How are we not talking about this team all the time? Sustained dominance is easy to take for granted, sure. And as far as it has come in recent decades soccer still isn’t close to leading the sports conversation in the USA. These are answers, and they aren’t wrong, but they mostly evade...
This Hit On Brandin Cooks Was Somehow Not Flagged
The NFL appears to have completely abandoned its newly-instated helmet rule that caused loads of controversy in the first couple weeks of the preseason. No penalties were called on Tedric Thompson after he nearly took Brandin Cooks head clean off of his body late in the second quarter of Rams-Seahaw...