ted Page 195 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Dimitar Berbatov's Arrogant, Curse-Filled Breakdowns Of His Old Goals Are Wonderful
Many players have scored more goals than Dimitar Berbatov, but few have scored as many flatly stunning ones, or done so with the flair and insouciance that made nearly every one of his goals legitimately preposterous. It was preposterous that any human body could, as a simple matter of physics, exec...
The Details Of Teddy Bridgewater's Knee Surgery Are Gruesome
It’s been nearly two years since then-Vikings (and current Jets) quarterback Teddy Bridgewater suffered a catastrophic knee injury during practice. Now, the doctor who performed the surgeries to repair Bridgewater’s ruined knee, Dan Cooper, has shared some of the details of what went down with ESPN....
Paul Pogba's Agent Shit-Talks Man United Legend, And Things Are Looking Bad
Following Manchester United for the couple years, it’s hard to combat the sense that Paul Pogba isn’t very happy at the club right now. But for as up-and-down as his return to England has been, it seems like right now—with his manager criticizing him and the team playing poorly and unadventurously a...
Only José Mourinho Can Save Manchester United From Himself
If he weren’t such a hemorrhoidal asshole, you could be inclined to feel somewhat sorry for José Mourinho....
D.C. United Ball Boy Does His Job A Little Too Well
There was a lot to like in D.C. United’s 4-1 win over the Portland Timbers Wednesday night, namely the continued resurgence of old man Wayne Rooney, who scored two goals, including one extremely sweet free kick. The best highlight of the night, though, came from this deadly accurate ball boy. ...
Old Man Wayne Rooney Is Thriving In MLS
Old man and Manchester United legend Wayne Rooney was supposed to be irreversibly washed. He still largely is—hence why he’s in MLS to begin with—but, still, he’s definitely been making the most out of his American sabbatical. He’s already mashed his face into bits and notched one of his career-bes...
Old Man Wayne Rooney Produced One Of The Best MLS Highlights You'll Ever See
D.C. United sent their keeper up for a corner kick with a minute left in stoppage time of a tied game. It backfired, spectacularly. Then it didn’t, spectacularly, and it was all thanks to good ol’ Wayne Rooney. ...
Paul Pogba's Weirdo Penalty Is The First Premier League Goal Of The Season
At the start of a game that probably shouldn’t be played right now (I mean really, the World Cup ended less than a month ago for chrissakes, don’t these guys deserve some rest?), a player that probably shouldn’t be playing (Paul Pogba had a big role in that World Cup right up till the end, you might...
The Best Comedy Bits Going Are Leeds Manager Marcelo Bielsa's Interviews
If you’ve found yourself confused about why those familiar with Argentine mad genius manager Marcelo Bielsa were giddy with excitement when he got the Leeds United job earlier this summer, just watch the bizarre, hilarious, Google Translate-in-the-flesh pre- and post-match interviews he gave to Sky ...
A Two-Win Team Won The Arena Football League Title
The Washington Valor won the ArenaBowl on Saturday night, beating the Baltimore Brigade, 69-55, to capture the 31st title of the Arena Football League. Arvell Nelson led the way for the Valor with five rushing touchdowns and three TDs through the air. ...
The Rockets Are Now Equipped To Run It Back
The Rockets have won their contract standoff with restricted free agent center Clint Capela. Four weeks after he balked at Houston’s five-year, $90 million offer at the start of free agency, Capela made the decision to not sign the meager one-year qualifying offer, and inked a long-term deal in Hous...
Nationals Executive Has To Resort To Crowdfunding For Leukemia Treatment
Doug Harris, the Washington Nationals’ assistant GM and vice president of player personnel, holds a significant position in the organization—and yet, even an MLB team executive has to resort to asking the public to help cover his medical costs....
Clint Capela Is Getting Squeezed On All Sides This Summer
Hey, remember Clint Capela? The big man entered free agency this summer, and received a qualifying offer from the Houston Rockets, keeping him a restricted free agent. Capela then received a five-year contract offer from the Rockets on July 1. And that’s it. An offer was made, and it’s been about th...
Reporter Hit By Falling Railing On Opening Day At D.C.'s New MLS Stadium
D.C. United celebrated the opening of their new stadium last Saturday. Fans were treated to 32 minutes of Wayne Rooney, protests from disgruntled supporter groups, and a series of railings breaking and falling all over the place. D.C. United communications VP and sideline reporter Lindsay Simpson wa...
The Fight For Peace Has Never Been Easy
This piece is part of a recurring series that aims to be a complete guide to the laws of war. You can read previous entries here....
Minnesota United's Collin Martin Comes Out As Gay
Minnesota United midfielder Collin Martin became the only active openly gay man in American sports on Friday, coming out publicly with a message on Twitter and a very cool photo ahead of his team’s Pride Night game....
Nate Diaz Got Into Another Fight In The Stands
UFC folk hero Nate Diaz hasn’t fought in the octagon since dropping a majority decision to bus saboteur Conor McGregor in August 2016, though he hasn’t spent his long layoff entirely away from fighting. The Stocktonian showed up to a UFC event in February and smoked a joint, and last month, he got i...
Kangaroo On The Field Is Great At Running, Atrocious At Kicking The Ball
This here kangaroo showed up to an Australian women’s Premier League match over the weekend and put together an impressive minute or so of tape. Our pal apparently wandered around the field for about 20 minutes, dozed off, hopped a few fences, and flashed some impressive top-level speed. However, hi...
Let’s Remember Some Guys: Pro Wrestling Edition
My uncle introduced me to pro wrestling. I think I was seven. He clued me in on the gag right away: Guys pretended to fight, and it was hilarious....