The New Teen Thing Will Give You More Anxiety Than Any Game Tonight
I’m a newly minted old person in a high-density city, so I don’t get in cars much anymore. But one of the quaint…
The Sports Highlight Of The Day Is This Profane Dad Being Repeatedly Startled
A California teen had the fantastic idea to spend two weeks terrorizing her dad with a confetti gun. We hope he enjoys…
The New Thing Teens Are Doing Is Called The "Port-A-Potty Challenge"
Teens, mostly on cross country teams are attempting to cram as many people as possible into port-a-potties. It’s called…
The Sports Highlight Of The Day Is This Guy Catching Apples With His Face
Our sports highlight of the day comes to us from a rowdy duo who no doubt wasted a lot of good apples in the pursuit of…
Vikings Hire Teen Consultant To Teach Them How To Be Cool
What’s up YouTubers—you know who’s “on fleek” right now? The Minnesota Vikings are, or will be. The team has hired…
Youths Could Face Jail Time After Climbing Golden Gate Bridge Then Bragging About It
If you’re going to climb the Golden Gate Bridge and perform a series of acrobatics that would make the Grim Reaper shit…
Worst Person On Earth Shitcanned
Jake Paul, the vile internet butthole whose eFame is owed to his routine of pulling dipshit bro pranks that crowd out…
Popular Twin Vloggers Are The Sons Of Former Romanian World Champion Gymnast
This week, former Vine star and current Disney Channel actor Jake Paul was revealed to be a horrendous nightmare of a…
The Drive-By Dunk Challenge Is The Meme Of The Summer
Teens with way too much time on their hands struggling to entertain themselves is a hallmark of summer. This can be a…
We Found Him, The Worst Person On Earth
Jake Paul, a former Vine star who parlayed that into a Disney Channel gig, lives in West Hollywood, and the insane…
Teens Discover The Boston Garden Has Ignored Law For Decades, May Owe State Millions
In 1993, three banks agreed to fund the construction of the Boston Garden. After bitter political quarreling between…
They Can't All Be 92-Point Games
LaMelo Ball is a fine basketball player. He will be a fine college player. Very possibly he will be a fine NBA player.…
Tell Us About Your Extreme Teenage Gluttony
When I was an angular teen with visible ribs and freakish teen metabolism, and not a rotund middle-aged slob, my…
High School Pole Vaulter Annihilates Pro Field, Breaks A Bunch Of Records
Mondo Duplantis is not only the best-named high school athlete in the country, he’s also one of the best. Last weekend,…
Extremely Tall Basketball Teen Debuts In Ohio
Romanian basketball player Robert Bobroczkyi, who was 7-foot-6 and 184 pounds at last check in 2015, is now 7-foot-7…
Let's Remember What The Internet Was Like When We Were Teens
It’s Thanksgiving, which means you are using the internet to avoid talking to that uncle who really wants to give you…
Hero Teen Takes Her Loss On Jeopardy! Like A Champ
Sabrina here didn’t know the answer to tonight’s Final Jeopardy! question about the Great Barrier Reef. That did not,…
The New Thing Teens Are Doing Is Called The "Mannequin Challenge"
Teens: They’re annoying, but we turn to them for the newest cool trend, then mangle and repurpose it until someone…
Is This A Good Teen?
Here’s a video from Twitter user @B1goingD1 that appears to show a classroom fight between a pair of teens come to a…
You Puny Millennial Weaklings Disgust Me, A Tough, Sinewy Elder
Via the Washington Post, I have learned of a study by the Journal of Hand Therapy showing that millennial men are a…