teens Page 2 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Vikings Hire Teen Consultant To Teach Them How To Be Cool
What’s up YouTubers—you know who’s “on fleek” right now? The Minnesota Vikings are, or will be. The team has hired Jonah Stillman as a “Gen Z advisor.”...
Youths Could Face Jail Time After Climbing Golden Gate Bridge Then Bragging About It
If you’re going to climb the Golden Gate Bridge and perform a series of acrobatics that would make the Grim Reaper shit his pants, don’t say anything about it online or post a video of your exploits in which your face is clearly visible. Peter “Teatime” Kurer and Tommy Rector did not follow this adv...
Worst Person On Earth Shitcanned
Jake Paul, the vile internet butthole whose eFame is owed to his routine of pulling dipshit bro pranks that crowd out and annoy his neighbors badly enough that they sued his scrawny ass, has apparently been fired by the Disney Channel:...
Popular Twin Vloggers Are The Sons Of Former Romanian World Champion Gymnast
This week, former Vine star and current Disney Channel actor Jake Paul was revealed to be a horrendous nightmare of a neighbor. In some of his videos are a a set of twins named Marcus and Lucas Dobre. Though they regularly collaborate with Paul, the Dobres have a much more notable name helping them:...
The Drive-By Dunk Challenge Is The Meme Of The Summer
Teens with way too much time on their hands struggling to entertain themselves is a hallmark of summer. This can be a bad thing when those teens take their cues from dipshits like Jake Paul, but it can be a very good thing when it leads to something like a summer full of pool dunks. The Drive-By Dun...
We Found Him, The Worst Person On Earth
Jake Paul, a former Vine star who parlayed that into a Disney Channel gig, lives in West Hollywood, and the insane white boy shit he’s committing regularly has pissed off his neighbors to the point where they’re considering legal action....
Teens Discover The Boston Garden Has Ignored Law For Decades, May Owe State Millions
In 1993, three banks agreed to fund the construction of the Boston Garden. After bitter political quarreling between developers and the city, a deal was eventually struck to build the $160 million facility. At the time, the New York Times wrote:...
They Can't All Be 92-Point Games
LaMelo Ball is a fine basketball player. He will be a fine college player. Very possibly he will be a fine NBA player. He is also 15 years old....
Tell Us About Your Extreme Teenage Gluttony
When I was an angular teen with visible ribs and freakish teen metabolism, and not a rotund middle-aged slob, my brother and I used to walk across the street from our high school to McDonald’s in the short interval between the end of the school day and the start of football practice. I’d get two Big...
High School Pole Vaulter Annihilates Pro Field, Breaks A Bunch Of Records
Mondo Duplantis is not only the best-named high school athlete in the country, he’s also one of the best. Last weekend, Duplantis was competing in pole vault at the Texas Relays in the men’s elite division. Duplantis is a junior at Lafayette High School in Louisiana, yet he smoked a field that conta...
Extremely Tall Basketball Teen Debuts In Ohio
Romanian basketball player Robert Bobroczkyi, who was 7-foot-6 and 184 pounds at last check in 2015, is now 7-foot-7 and 190 pounds. The Italian pasta strategy does not appear to have filled him out....
The Strange Case Of The Manhattan Bandit, Serial High School Track And Field Cheater
It seems like it would be fairly difficult to cheat in a cross country or track race. There’s little gamesmanship in foot racing. You show up, you run for the allotted distance, and you finish. It’s a punishingly simple sport, and unless you are doping, cheating is sort of impossible. Which is all t...
Let's Remember What The Internet Was Like When We Were Teens<em></em>
It’s Thanksgiving, which means you are using the internet to avoid talking to that uncle who really wants to give you his thoughts on the status of America and the aunt who doesn’t understand why you are still single. The internet may be our savior now, but remember when it used to suck?...
Hero Teen Takes Her Loss On <i>Jeopardy!</i> Like A Champ
Sabrina here didn’t know the answer to tonight’s Final Jeopardy! question about the Great Barrier Reef. That did not, however, stop her from chinning up, staring straight into the camera, and delivering the best answer of the night....
The New Thing Teens Are Doing Is Called The "Mannequin Challenge"
Teens: They’re annoying, but we turn to them for the newest cool trend, then mangle and repurpose it until someone works it into a boring ad campaign three months after everyone’s moved on. The latest entry in cool things by teens is the “mannequin challenge.”...
Is This A Good Teen?
Here’s a video from Twitter user @B1goingD1 that appears to show a classroom fight between a pair of teens come to a swift end when a third teen knocks out one participant for hitting the teacher, then flexes at the other after pulling him off the knocked-out teen. There’s a ton to get into here, su...
You Puny Millennial Weaklings Disgust Me, A Tough, Sinewy Elder
Via the Washington Post, I have learned of a study by the Journal of Hand Therapy showing that millennial men are a bunch of weak, pampered diaper babies with butter-soft hands and that your puny muscles are no match for my hardened, callused Gen-X gripping power. I am paraphrasing, here. The Journa...
The Ways I Torture Myself To Stay Young In The Face
This week, we learned that Peter Thiel, the billionaire and proverbial vampire who bankrupted Gawker through a covert legal war, is apparently interested in harvesting the blood of the young to slow down (or even halt) the aging process. While thematically satisfying, this sounds complicated. And me...
"Haters Gonna Say It's Fake" Is A Very Good Meme
Nobody likes trick shot videos anymore. If you watch enough bros in backwards hats throw a football into a moving trash can or whatever and yell, “Bro, sick!” as the beat drops, you’ll eventually find yourself wanting to flee the earth to live in outer space. But thanks to the power of memes, trick ...
J.R. Smith Gets Into Dustup With Heckling Teens
This past November, Cleveland Cavaliers guard J.R. Smith was involved in an altercation outside of a pizza shop in New York City. A 19-year-old reportedly claimed Smith attacked him, choked him, and slammed him into a wall in retaliation for a joke about him being traded by the Knicks. Deadspin has ...