test Page 30 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

No "Malicious Intention" For Rugby Player Who Grabbed Opponent's Balls
This is a few days old, but forgive us for being so late with it. International news about testicle-grabbing in rugby sometimes takes a while to get to us....

Donté Stallworth Loves Gay Marriage, Argues With Twitter
Newly minted Redskins receiver Donté Stallworth has opinions on things! He was not a fan of the flu vaccine. But he is a huge fan of today's Supreme Court rulings that struck down the Defense of Marriage Act and killed Prop 8 in California. He took to Twitter to celebrate, and more than held his own...

Brazil's Protestors Should Be Angry At FIFA, Too
Originally published on Bloomberg View...

This High School Freshman Dunk Contest Is Just Foolish
This is Seventh Woods, Ivan Rabb, Malik Monk, Terrance Ferguson and Josh Jackson. They're jumping very high. They're at the national team's U16 basketball practice. U16....

Here's A Radio Stunt Involving Spilled Piss
Want to make watching a radio show on television interesting? Spill urine all over one of the hosts (maybe)....

MS Paint Contest: Design A Better Toronto NBA Team
New GM Masai Ujiri is already cleaning house, and there's speculation that the Raptors, approaching their 20th season, could be in for a full rebranding. New uniforms, new colors...even a new name? Here's where you come in....

Taste Test: Uncrustables. What Does The Crustless PB&J Say About Us?
One of parenthood's myriad challenges, as any parent will attest, is finding the time in one's overscheduled, playdate- and tedious-errand-choked day to make weirdo peanut-butter-and-jelly-stuffed pierogi to foist upon our frightened and sobbing children. Thankfully, somebody at The J.M. Smucker Co...

The SEC Might Get A Uniform Drug-Testing Policy, Which Is Dumb
Some SEC school officials have been pushing for the implementation of a conference-wide substance-abuse policy, a move that would regulate the testing and punishment policies for every school in the conference. Why are they doing this? Because they are sore losers....

This Is The Story Of The Shittiest Roommate Ever
Everything about this story stinks like shit....

Photoshop Miguel Diving Into Other Ill-Advised Situations
Miguel made quite the splash when he landed on two innocent spectators at last night's Billboard Awards. In fact, several more people have heard of Miguel this morning than had last night! Nobody said increasing that Q score was going to be easy....

Roundup: Your Best Bird-Flipping Miami Fan Photoshop Contest Entries
Yesterday's Photoshop contest yielded a treasure trove of hilarity. Here is a selection of our favorite entries, including your winner....

Photoshop Contest: Crazy Bird-Flipping Miami Heat Fan
She flipped Joakim Noah the bird. She may have murdered her fourth husband. She is generally terrifying. She is the subject of our latest Photoshop contest....

Baseball Player Uses Teammate's Pee For Drug Test, Fails Drug Test
Pro tip: If you're going to use somebody else's pee to try and weasel your way out of a drug test, don't borrow pee from the guy who has an Adderall prescription....

Taste Test: Popeyes Rip'n Chick'n. Who Thought This Was A Good Idea?
It began, one imagines, as a simple question, posed conspiratorially around a gleaming boardroom conference table in an upper floor of AFC Enterprises headquarters in Sandy Springs, Ga.: Why settle for chicken fingers, when you could have an entire horrifying rheumatoid chicken hand that you grimly ...

LeBron James Makes His Teammates Do Pushups
Perhaps Mario Chalmers and Ray Allen thought LeBron was joking when he told them they would be doing pushups if they lost a shooting competition to him. He was not joking. LeBron's drill-sergeant cadence could use a little work, though. There's not nearly enough spittle flying here. ...

Taste Test: Why Is There A Strawberry Margarita In My Light Beer?
As someone with a lifelong passion for cheap, horrible beer, I couldn't have been more excited when I walked into a bodega the other day–the same bodega I go to every day to buy a bigass bottle of Coke Zero and a Jack Link's beef stick–and saw a stack of 12-packs of Bud Light Lime STRAW-ber-RITA rig...

Fans Protest At Marlins' Home Opener, Get Ejected For No Good Reason
When a franchise is as committed to shitting on its fan base as the Miami Marlins are, receiving a little animosity from those fans is to be expected. So it's not surprising that a group of Marlins fans staged a small protest at yesterday's home opener, nor is it surprising that the Marlins organiz...

Vladimir Putin Was Confronted By A Topless Protestor, And He Really, Really Liked It
Russian President Vladimir Putin was in Germany this morning when he found himself in the crosshairs. Ukrainian protest group Femen, known for their topless protests against the church, the sex trade, and "dictators" like Putin, crashed his appearance at a Hanover trade fare wearing slogans, and lit...

Doug Anderson Won The College Dunk Contest With A 360-Degree, Between-The-Legs Jam
Last night saw the college dunk contest at the Georgia Dome McCamish Pavilion, and while this year's edition didn't have an internet favorite like Jacob Tucker, Detroit forward Doug Anderson gave the fans what they came to see....