test Page 37 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The Saddest Sad Faces Of Sad Penn State Bros
Bros, we must mourn. The greatest bro of all, Joe Paterno—whom one could affectionately refer to as Bro Paternbro—has been fired as head coach of PSU football. Life will never be the same, bros. Football will never be so pure again. Hang your head, remove your backwards New Era cap, and say a prayer...
Two Members Of An Extremist Right-Wing English Group Occupied The Roof Of FIFA Headquarters Today
Security must not be very tight at FIFA headquarters in Zurich because two members of the notorious right-wing English Defence League took to the roof of Sepp Blatter's palace to protest FIFA's recent and—it must be acknowledged—very stupid decision to prevent English players from wearing embroidere...
There's More Action In 3:53 Of Tuscaloosa Tailgate Brawling Than In The Alabama/LSU Game It Preceded
A little late to the game with this week's Fights and/or Boobs inbrawlment, but hell, Alabama/LSU was the Game of the Century, and it's worth taking our collective minds off Jerry Sandusky for a spell, right?...
Presenting Your Ryan Howard At A Food Store In A Motorized Scooter Photoshop Roundup
The above photo is of Ryan Howard, and it was taken at a suburban Philly Whole Foods on the day after the Phillies were knocked out of the National League playoffs by the Cardinals. The game ended with Howard recording the final out and tearing his Achilles in the process, which explains the scoote...
Occupy Wall Street In Denver Devolves Into One-Man Kansas Jayhawks Rally
Sorry to say, but with both Morrises and Josh Selby off to join the ranks of the 1 percent, OWS's goal of a total overhaul of the American economic system is closer to reality than another deep tournament run for the Jayhawks....
Photoshop Contest: Ryan Howard At A Food Store In A Motorized Scooter
The internet has been passing around this photo of Ryan Howard for several days, or at least since it was discovered after being tweeted by a fan who snapped it at a suburban Philly Whole Foods. It is at once sadly and hilariously emblematic of the sudden conclusion to the Phillies' season....
"Radiohead Wouldn't Play In The Big East Either": Occupy Wall Street Has An "Occupy Herbstreit" Photobomber
A brilliant human has launched a Tumblr called "Occupy Herbstreit," which features photos of an anonymous photobomber among the protesters in lower Manhattan, holding College GameDay-inspired signs overhead. Here's a sampling....
"Life Is Like A Jump Shot": Reviewing The Unremarkable History Of NBA Rappers
NBA players like rapping, and that is a fact of the universe that we are powerless to stop. The way that I have tended to deal this phenomenon is generally to ignore it completely. It is shockingly easy to do: Just as I do with Kreayshawn, I pretend that NBA rappers do not exist, that they have neve...
Metta World Peace's "Stiff Cha-Cha" Doesn't Get Past The First Round Of DWTS
Not content to spend the lockout doing "hasty and shapeless" stand-up comedy, The Dong Texter Formerly Known As Ron Artest has gone one-and-done on "Dancing With The Stars." If you wish, feel free to view his effort here. The Los Angeles Times said his was a "stiff cha-cha" that was simultaneously ...
After Silent Protest Designed To Prove They Can Behave, Swedish Soccer Fans Misbehave
Fans of Djurgården and AIK decided to take a stand during the opening stages of yesterday's "Stockholm derby match." By remaining silent for a ninth of the soccer game, they were protesting "all they consider to have gone wrong with game."...
Presenting Your Larry Merchant Photoshop Winner, Runner-Up And Honorable Mentions
Boxing stumblentator Larry Merchant took to the ring after Floyd Mayweather got headbutted, dropped the headbuttist with two quick blasts of questionable fury and broiled in the stew of booing judgement. There was no question that something magical was about to occur....
Photoshop Contest: Larry Merchant On The Edge
Larry Merchant had a little word war with Floyd Mayweather after Mayweather's controversial victory over Victor Ortiz last night. But when he turned to the camera, he gave an expression for the ages. For all ages. For many situations....
Ron Artest Has Never Looked More Graceful
Your morning roundup for Sept. 5, the day Arizona (against all odds) got a little bit worse. Photo of Artest at rehearsal via @LakerNation. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....
The Pregnant Man Is Very Upset With Chaz Bono
Where to begin? Ok, the cast....
Terrelle Pryor's Wonderlic Score Was Reportedly A 7 (UPDATE: Pryor Says 22)
The Raiders are praying that Terrelle Pryor's football IQ is higher than his actual IQ. According to Bob McGinn, the Packers beat writer for the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel, Pryor scored a whopping 7 on his Wonderlic Test. (UPDATE: See below.)...
Not So Fast: Ron Artest Not Permitted To Change His Name Just Yet
"A court official said, 'Ron has to clear outstanding traffic warrants' before a name change can take effect. ... His next court date is set for Sept. 16." [Los Angeles Times, via SLAM Online]...
Ron Artest's Name Change Becomes Official Today
From now on, he really is going to be known as Metta World Peace. And he's changing his number. No, not that one. [Yahoo]...
Readers: Let's Come Up With A Less Awful Trophy For The Winner Of Iowa-Iowa State
Now that the Iowa Corn Growers Association and the Iowa Corn Promotion Board have abandoned their ill-fated agrarian-robot-family-allegory design for the Cy-Hawk Trophy, how will the victors in the annual football showdown between Iowa and Iowa State know they've won? Please help bail out the corn i...
Ukulele Boob Girl Will Do Anything You Ask If You Vote For Her Again
Remember Sarah H., the lovely damsel who desperately pleaded for your votes in some sort of freakish marketing contest by playing a ukulele nestled under her breasts? Well, she's emailing again, claiming that the freakish marketing people somehow turned her 1,500-vote advantage into a 12-vote defic...
Your Tiger Woods Photobomb Guy Photoshop Roundup
Last week, immediately upon witnessing the awesomeness of That Guy Who Photobombed Tiger Woods, we put out the call to see what you could do with him via photoshop. And you didn't disappoint....