texas-rangers Page 24 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Do Not Make C.J. Wilson Your ESPY Wingman
Texas Rangers reliever C.J. Wilson was at the ESPYs for some reason, but since he wasn't nominated for anything (one would assume) he decided to spend the evening busting horny dudes with his Twitter—including a certain noted sportscaster-lothario....

Relive The Majesty And Terror Of "Ten-Cent Beer Night"
Today, June 4, is the 35th anniversary of the drunkest night in sports history—Ten-Cent Beer Night at Municipal Stadium in Cleveland. What better way to celebrate than getting absolutely blitzed on some cheap Stroh's?...

Vicente Padilla Is Good At Making People, Androids Angry
Mark Teixeira after his double-plunk from Padilla: "Unfortunately, that guy has been doing it his whole career. Every time I've faced him since there seems to be balls near my head, near my body, and today I got hit twice. There's really no reason for it." [DMN]...

Umpire Kerwin Danley May Need Stronger Head Gear
Kerwin Danley was carted off the field last night after getting hit in the head with a broken bat—almost a year to the day since he was plunked in face by a Brad Penny fastball....

If Someone Hit For The Cycle And Nobody Saw It, Did It Make A Sound?
Only 17,539 were on hand in Arlington Stadium to witness Ian Kinsler become the fourth Texas Ranger to hit for the cycle in a 19-6 win over the Orioles. [NBCSports]...

Tom Hicks Is Out Of Money
The Texas Rangers/Dallas Stars/Liverpool Kicking Guys owner has defaulted on about $500 million worth of loans and will probably have to sell his precious toys. But he was always so frugal and wise! [Dallas Observer]...

Andruw Jones May Be A Bit Confused
Andruw Jones turns down a minor-league deal with the Yankees, then signs a minor-league deal with the Rangers. Someone please explain to him how "negotiating" works.... [Lewp]...

Epic Squander: Red Sox, Rangers Entertain The Masses
I propose uninstalling this scoreboard now and preserving it in a museum. People of the future are going to want to study it, and it has to be the real thing; no one is going to believe the photos. Future kid: "Dad, how did this one team almost blow a 10-run, first inning lead?" Future Dad: "It's th...

You're Welcome Ladies
Busted Coverage turned up this video featuring a Rangers fan of [consults euphemism robot he lets sleep on his couch] considerable avoirdupois whose gut plunges a good foot or so below his waistline. That is the tehest of sexy. Incidentally, I'm sure that's the only time he's had something with only...

Milton Bradley Is A Blogger Now? Awesome
So I'm wondering which incident in Milton Bradley's storied career prompted The New York Times to ask him to write a blog for them about the All-Star Game? This one, perhaps? Or this? Ah, I know; it was this one, wherein Bradley actually injured himself while trying to get at an umpire, ending up on...

Milton Bradley Has Got His Eye On YOU, Pal
So here's the text of what Royals' TV broadcaster Jim Ryan Lefebvre said that so totally pissed off Milton Bradley on Wednesday. Bradley, you may recall, heard the comments on the radio in the clubhouse following Wednesday's game, and sprinted up four levels at Kauffman Stadium to dismember "introdu...

Milton Bradley Would Like To Have A Word If You've Got A Minute
So Texas Rangers general manager Jon Daniels said that Milton Bradley was "acting cordially" and "wanted to set the record straight" after Bradley's near confrontation with TV play-by-play man Ryan Lefebvre following their game with the Royals Wednesday. Yep, that's exactly how it sounds to me:...

Jesus Saves, But Still Takes His Usual 15 Percent
You may know that outfielder Josh Hamilton's negotiations of a long-term contract with the Texas Rangers hit a snag recently when he suddenly changed agents; going from Matt Sosnick of Sosnick Cobbe Sports to Michael Moye of Moye Associaties. The reason? Hamilton is a born-again Christian, and "want...

The Placement Of That Pitch Has Vexed Me, Sir. Now We Shall Wrestle
It's not really a classic baseball brawl until a tubby Don Zimmer is thrown to the turf, but this'll do. It happened on Thursday at Safeco Field: After the Rangers' Kason Gabbard tossed a fourth-inning delivery at the Mariners' Richie Sexson at face level, Sexson charged the mound and clocked Gabba...

Sparring With Carl Everett
Being a sports reporter is, at times, an absolutely horrible job. Sure you get to watch games, travel, and interact with athletes, but there is a horrendous downside. (Which is pretty much everything else.) And this is never more disturbingly clear than when a reporter has their first (or 50th ) awf...

Your AL West "Preview"
Well, this is kind of cheating, considering the Oakland A's already played this morning, and lost, but we hope that having 1/162 of the season over already won't make you distrust our predictions any more than you already do....

A-Rod Talks Wistfully Of The Mets (Really)
The timing could have been better for Alex Rodriguez, who sat down for a soul-searching interview with the New York Daily News on the same day that Jose Canseco was touting a new book, claiming that A-Rod took steroids. That publicity could have been used for damage control! At any rate, A-Rod tells...

Those 30-Run Rallies Will Kill You Every Time
Little did you know that when you watched Maracaibo, Venezuela beat the Netherlands, 21-2 in the Little League World Series on Tuesday, that it wouldn't be the most embarrassing wipeout of week. Meet your 2007 Baltimore Orioles, who lost 30-3 to the Texas Rangers on Wednesday. For Texas, it was the...

A Bug's Life, If That Bug Is Named John Holmes
The world has long pined for the answer to life's perpetual mystery: Is a Rangers-Orioles game more boring than watching flies screw? Well, an astute reader and his friend attended such a baseball game last night, and saw two horseflies gettin' down and procreating. Judging by these two fans' fixat...

Come Celebrate An Old Man's Victory Lap
Not that any of you were wondering, but this is clearly why Sammy Sosa came back after "retiring:" He gets to make this ridiculous face in front of a stadium full of fans who still aren't quite sure what to think of him....