texas Page 58 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
College Football Preview: The Jort-Out Is Coming
In a move reminiscent of the final rap contest between Rabbit and Papa Doc, Florida fans have embraced their greatest flaw: the you wear jorts insult that Georgia fans have been hurling for the better part of a decade. Yep, there's an organized movement afoot for Gator fans to show up in jorts for t...
College Football Preview: Check Your Messages Knowshon
LSU fans aren't only the most insane in college football, they're also the most resourceful. Perhaps insanity and resourcefulness aren't conflicting traits after all. Why do I say this? Because for the second year in a row LSU fans have made the cell phone lives of their opponents miserable. You'll ...
Texas A&M Fans Take Online Trash Talking To Bizarre New Levels
Their football team may 2-5 and winless in their conference (and they haven't even played Oklahoma or Texas yet), but the Texas A&M boosters behind AggieReport.com are winning at least one battle this season. Their smack-talking YouTube videos are a surreal little slice of internet joy.They make ve...
Colt McCoy's Girlfriend Exhibits Excellence In TV Journalism
Here is Mandy Pepperidge Rachel Glandorf, who is supposedly Colt McCoy's girlfriend and, I'm sure, a top-notch journalist for CBS affiliate KEYE42-TV in Austin, Texas. Here's hoping the powers that be at TBS/ESPN/Versus/Fox Sports Southwest/Playboy Channel are reading this, because fast tracking thi...
College Football Roundup: Mommas Don't Bring Your Babies to Neyland
Just a tip, don’t ever try and take a baby into Neyland Stadium. No matter how old the kid (ours is less than nine months old and was sleeping in a baby bjorn on his mom’s chest). Babies have to have tickets to Neyland too. I have no idea why the University of Tennessee would have this policy. Espe...
College Football Recap: (Insert Obligatory 'Don't Mess With Texas' Headline Here)
• The top-ranked Texas Longhorns took care of #11 Missouri with relative ease last night, beating the Tigers 56-31. At one point, the score was 35-0. QB Colt McCoy starred as he toyed with the Missouri defense, abusing them for 337 yards, throwing for two scores, and running in two more on his own....
Breaking News! Tony Romo Stands Around Watching Practice, Terrible Concerts
But that's not all - he also did some light football tossing yesterday...with the very hand he throws a football with! Yep, no news was big news at Cowboys practice on Friday, as Romo suited up but didn't do a whole heckuva lot. The Cowboys' injury report lists him as questionable (with an "America...
College Football Preview: Colt McCoy and Chase Daniel Duel for Rights to All The Oil in Texas (And the Heisman)
Back when I wrote that I couldn’t wait to watch the BYU-TCU game, I meant it. Completely. But what I forgot was that I’d be on the road in a hotel room. I don’t know why it is but hotels have the most erratic cable channel selections known to man. If you’re anything like me you’ve found yourself ly...
College Football Roundup: Carnage Came and Carnage Conquered
For those of you who emailed and asked whether the bearded guy in the orange shirt on the sideline at UT-Georgia was me. Yep, it was. There's a refined sense of pleasure in being a fan and watching your team suffer a drubbing from the sideline. I think I spoke about five words the entire game becau...
'Red River Shootout' Should Moisten Panties Just Fine
Those of you looking for that blatantly marquee matchup today are in for something special: The Big XII will take center stage today with the 103rd renewal of the Red River Shootout. Of course, now they've given the game this miffy, effeminate name of the "Red River Rivalry," which elicits the same ...
College Football Preview: Texas and Oklahoma Is At NOON (EST) You Drunk Idiots
The biggest week of college football games comes at a good time. Your stocks are tanking, summer is fading, you may or may not get fired in the newest round of layoffs, and you're thinking about getting an MBA or going to law school but you're not sure whether it makes sense to take out the student...
Hurricane Ike Takes Arkansas-Texas Game As College Football Victim?
Arkansas and Texas are set to play this weekend in Austin. This was to be Bobby Petrino's first step outside Razorback Stadium and also his first game against a team that had a pulse. But then came Hurricane Ike. The postponement of the game hasn't yet been officially announced but it's likely enoug...
Co-eds Giving Hand Jobs In Public? What Is This World Coming To?
I got several emails about this and I've been waiting for the video to come through. Apparently a couple of fans were caught getting hands on during the Texas/UTEP game. Video after the jump. ...
College Football Previews: #10 Texas
At long last, we enter the top 10. Your author is Peter Bean of Burnt Orange Nation. He's also the author of The Eyes of Texas 2008. You'll be happy to know that the above picture of Jenna Bush rocking the longhorn sign sent Muslim hearts spinning because they believed it was a sign of Satan. Oklah...
College Football Previews: #14 Texas Tech
Today's Texas Tech preview of pirate head coach Mike Leach is brought to you by Stephen Hagen. He's a Texas Tech alum and he hates A&M with unmitigated fury. So with only ten days until kickoff, enjoy his preview. Also, again, I'd like to apologize to all the people who wrote in requesting to do a p...
Sushi Coming to Texas High School Football; Buzz Bissinger Seriously Displeased
Stop laughing Missouri fans. Sushi is coming to Southlake Carroll—Heisman Trophy candidate Chase Daniel's high school. I'm told that's him, #4, celebrating his state championship. Predictably the decision is being met with marketing difficulties. "I always pitch it as healthier chicken nuggets," Da...
Epic Squander: Red Sox, Rangers Entertain The Masses
I propose uninstalling this scoreboard now and preserving it in a museum. People of the future are going to want to study it, and it has to be the real thing; no one is going to believe the photos. Future kid: "Dad, how did this one team almost blow a 10-run, first inning lead?" Future Dad: "It's th...
How Many Cheerleaders Can a University of Texas Elevator Hold?
If you said 26, you're the big winner. Spirit fingers all around. Y'all rock. Only, it seems when you get 26 cheerleaders into one elevator, the elevator stops working. And then cheerleaders start to pass out. Which sort of impacts the fun. How much do you want to bet that when the girls got out, th...
You're Welcome Ladies
Busted Coverage turned up this video featuring a Rangers fan of [consults euphemism robot he lets sleep on his couch] considerable avoirdupois whose gut plunges a good foot or so below his waistline. That is the tehest of sexy. Incidentally, I'm sure that's the only time he's had something with only...
Milton Bradley Is A Blogger Now? Awesome
So I'm wondering which incident in Milton Bradley's storied career prompted The New York Times to ask him to write a blog for them about the All-Star Game? This one, perhaps? Or this? Ah, I know; it was this one, wherein Bradley actually injured himself while trying to get at an umpire, ending up on...