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![Two University of Texas Football Players Accused Of Sexually Assaulting A Woman [UPDATED]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/189rcmh1flnzpjpg.jpg)
Two University of Texas Football Players Accused Of Sexually Assaulting A Woman [UPDATED]
The players have neither been arrested nor charged with a crime, and police have not released their names. An investigation is taking place, but here are the details from KENS in San Antonio, where the Longhorns are staying as they prepare for Saturday's Alamo Bowl game against Oregon State:...

Forbes's 2012 List Of The Most Valuable Teams In College Football Reads A Lot Like The 1936 AP Poll
Forbes's latest best guess at the most valuable college football programs is out, and if you're a Texas fan, congratulations: Your slavering devotion to the Death Star of the Big 12 has paid off once again. You're number one! Granted, you're in the "also receiving votes" category in the AP's poll of...

The Texas Longhorns' Basketball Season In A Nutshell: This Blown Layup In A Game They Lost By 2
Yesterday's UCLA-Texas game from Reliant Stadium in Houston was billed as a battle between two college basketball heavyweights. For the 2,797 who showed up (it was, we hear, even less than that in reality) it was instead a bout between lousy squads that are but a shadow of the competitive teams th...

College ShameDay: Who Embarrassed Themselves Over The Holiday Weekend (Besides Indiana)?
Our weekly college football shame index. ...

Texas Honors Passing Of Coach Darrell Royal By Running First Play From Wishbone, Gains 47 Yards
Legendary Texas Longhorns coach Darrell Royal passed away at 88 this week, and his former team paid tribute to him with a helmet decal and midfield logo. Current coach Mack Brown announced, too, he'd honor the man who introduced the wishbone to major college football by running UT's first offensiv...

"Just A Hunch": To Win What Might Have Been His Biggest Game, Darrell Royal Had Texas Do The Very Thing He Hated
Former University of Texas football coach Darrell Royal despised the forward pass. "Three things can happen," he famously said of throwing the football, "and two of them are bad." In 1968, Royal rolled out a scheme that allowed Texas's offense to be effective with minimal passing. The wishbone, as i...


Even Mack Brown Hates The Longhorn Network
Fourteen months in, how's the Longhorn Network doing? The University of Texas's 20-year, $300 million partnership with ESPN nearly destroyed the Big 12 before it even launched, and while it is helping UT make up for state-funding shortfalls in academic departments, it still has a rather sizable dist...

College ShameDay: Who Embarrassed Themselves On Saturday (Besides Texas)?
Our weekly college football shame index. ...

Sportswriter Quotes UT Player Saying Oklahoma "Ran The Balls Down Our Throat"; UT Player Requests Never To Be Asked Another Question
Kirk Bohls, a sports columnist for the Austin American-Statesmen, spent some time after Oklahoma's drubbing of Texas yesterday asking Texas players questions, as sportswriters are wont to do. He also tweeted out some of the better responses. Standard practice. He also made a small typo. It happens....

Texas, A 63-21 Loser To Oklahoma, Still Has Mack Brown Signed Through 2020
The Texas-Oklahoma game today was as lopsided as a wink. The Sooners tripled up the Longhorns, 63-21, a score that almost looks like a mercy killing after a 36-2 halftime advantage....

Here's How Tavon Austin Dominated The First Quarter With Just Six Touches
It's not too often you get to see a player that doesn't line up in the backfield dominate a game over a stretch of time, but it happened for a quarter tonight. Mountaineers wide receiver and kick returner Tavon Austin finished the first quarter of tonight's WVU-Texas game with 166 all-purpose yard...

Tonight On The Longhorn Network, It's Texas Softball Featuring "Great Breasts And Online Fetishes"
Reader Geoff was engaged in some late-night channel-surfing a few days ago and caught this shocking anomaly. Somebody actually receives the Longhorn Network!...

How Did This Personalized Note From Kevin Durant End Up On The Floor Of A University Of Texas Bathroom?
Homer Rainey Hall is an unassuming administrative building in the middle of UT's Austin Campus. It largely contains offices for professors in the school's language department, but today it contains a mystery....

David Robinson Was Victimized By One Of The Great Videobombs Of All Time
NBA Hall-Of-Famer David Robinson decided to take in today's Kansas State-Texas game, but even at 7'1" his view could be blocked by an old woman who stood up when he was sitting. [ESPN]...

Everything's Bigger In Texas, Except When You Get Posterized By North Carolina's P.J. Hairston
Texas guard Julien Lewis is 6'3", and should probably know better than to try and stop North Carolina 6'6" freshman star P.J. Hairston. But he didn't, and it's to all of our benefit to be able to watch. [ESPN]...

The Longhorn Network Launched Two Months Ago, And Still Nobody Can Watch It (Also, They Had An Anchor DWI)
It was two months ago today that we ran a sky-is-falling story on ESPN's Longhorn Network going live without having lined up cable companies to actually broadcast the channel. We thought that was just last-minute posturing and ESPN's muscle would get the deals done before long. But here we are, half...

Vince Young Allegedly Gets Angry When You Deny Him $8,000 In One-Dollar Bills
The Dallas strip club manager who was assaulted by Vince Young over a year ago is now adjusting the narrative of the altercation because he would like some money for it—possibly in the form of dollar bills. Creiton Kinchen's lawsuit says that he did not provoke the Eagles backup by flashing an upsid...

The Red River Rivalry Game Was Not That Close
From the very beginning of this game it seemed like Texas was never really going to have a chance. Time and time again we watched Texas turn the ball over in between bouts of Kirk Herbstreit and Brent Musburger pimping The Longhorn Network....

ESPN Will Put Unranked Texas In The Top 25, Now That They Own The Longhorn Network
If you consume an ESPN product, be it online or broadcast or magazine, we hope you are prepared to hear about Texas at least as often as the teams that actually matter, no matter how many games they lose. This is what happens when they invest $300 million in a team-specific network. ...