the-d Page 58 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

ESPN Actually Spoofs Itself With Bill Simmons's <em>The Decision</em>
The Sports Fella took to Beadle & Colin's Smile Time Shit-Sack Variety Hour yesterday to announce whether he would renew his season tickets to the Clippers in a parody of that LeBron thing. There's more self-criticism here than Ohlmeyer's last column....

Your Final Culturally Insensitive World Cup Goal Roundup
It's been a wild ride this past month, hasn't it? Let's take one last look at the goals from the third-place and final games of the World Cup with some assistance from music that isn't even close to being culturally sensitive....

Timofey Mozgov Is Cocksucker
Today is day Timofey Mozgov becomes most unlikable person in Russian Basketball Super League, and perhaps all Russian sports. I think he is okay a year ago. No more. He is villain now....

Counterpoint: LeBron James Is Not A Cocksucker
Yesterday, a guy who spent seven seasons with the team that drafted him announced he wanted to play basketball with his friends and win a lot of games. He wanted this so badly that he was willing to take a pay cut....

LeBron James Is A Cocksucker
Tomorrow is the day LeBron James becomes the most unlikable person in the NBA, and perhaps all of American sports. I used to think he was okay a year ago. No more. He's the villain now....

Your Culturally Insensitive World Cup Goal Roundup For July 7
The final game—and shameful, shameful third-place game—is set. But before we get to the prognosticating, let's look at today's, um, goal, scored to music in a culturally benighted manner. Tune: Kid Frost....

Culturally Insensitive World Cup Goal Roundup For July 6
Before today's big game, let's look back on yesterday's action, and let's be really culturally insensitive while we're at it. Enjoy....

Your Culturally Insensitive World Cup Goal Roundup, July 2-3
Before our first semifinal match today, let's look back on the weekend's action with all the goals scored to music that might offend the more culturally sensitive among you. Enjoy....

Your Culturally Insensitive World Cup Goal Roundup For June 29
Two hard-fought games today. Paraguay bested Japan on PKs and Spain grinded out a 1-0 victory over Portugal. Grinded, schminded. Let's relive the "ese" countries' ousters with goal videos wrapped in a tight layer of cultural insensitivity. To the tape!...

Your Culturally Insensitive World Cup Goal Roundup For June 28
The Netherlands and Brazil did what we expected yesterday and dominated Slovakia and Chile, respectively, each side managing a handful of very fancy goals. But fancy, schmancy. Their athletic prowess is no match for our cultural ignorance. Let's go to the video....

Your Culturally Insensitive Weekend World Cup Goal Roundup, June 26-27
The U.S. and England bowed out of the tournament this weekend, while Germany and Argentina showed they might be the two best squads left. Exciting as it was, everyone seemed to act sensitively—in regards to culture, that is. No more!...

Your Culturally Insensitive World Cup Goal Roundup For June 25
And with that, the Round of 16 is set. Spain salsa'd its way to the second round behind the mighty leg of David Villa and the Ivory Coast tried its damnedest to hang seven on the Bad Korea but came up short....

Your Culturally Insensitive World Cup Goal Roundup For June 24
The Round of 16 is three-fourths finalized after today's action. The Dutch squad had two marvelous scores, and Slovakia knocked Italy out of the competition to just about everyone's relief. It was all quite exciting. But was it culturally insensitive?...

Your Culturally Insensitive World Cup Goal Roundup For June 23
What a day, what a day. The U.S. advanced, but so did Germany and England. Australia put in a valiant effort and had two highlight-reel goals that will be ignored because of Landon Donovan's stunner....

Your Culturally Insensitive World Cup Goal Roundup For June 22
The knockout stages are a little clearer after today, with four teams moving on. Nigeria's Kalu Uche probably had the nicest goal, but the Super Eagles knocked out after its draw with the Good Korea....

Your Culturally Insensitive World Cup Goal Roundup For June 21
Today we saw a feeding frenzy in the Portugal-North Korea game, Chile putting itself in good position for the round of 16, and Spain showing everyone why it's still a favorite. Another favorite: snickering at foreign cultures through culturally insensitive music placement....

Your Culturally Insensitive Weekend World Cup Goal Roundup, June 19-20
What a weekend: New Zealand played Italy to a draw; Luis Fabiano got away with two handballs; and Denmark scored a pair of beauties. But how would these moments look when scored to music betraying a distinct lack of cultural sensitivity?...

Your Culturally Insensitive World Cup Goal Roundup For June 18
Yesterday was a fantastic day. The U.S. played in the most exciting — and controversial — game of the tournament, perhaps creating some new soccer junkies in the process....

Your Culturally Insensitive World Cup Goal Roundup For June 17
Today offered a smorgasbord of goals. A hat trick by Gonzolo Higuain was the day's highlight, and the streets of France will be littered with the burned effigies of referees after a non-offside call led to Javier Hernandez's score....