the-olds - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The NBA.com Boxscore Has The Silliest (And Best) Explanation For Why Tim Duncan Didn't Play Tonight
Tim Duncan wasn't hurt tonight. He merely took a day off from the daunting post-lockout grind to rest his bones, and his Spurs beat the Sixers anyway, 93-76. The ESPN.com boxscore says "DNP-REST." The NBA's, pictured above, wasn't so politically correct. "DND-OLD." Poor, poor, old Tim Duncan. He tur...
Jamie Moyer Will Begin Rehab And Hopes To Pitch In 2012, Despite That Whole Turning 49 Years Old Thing
The Phillies have steamrolled the National League this year, and it seems like they've been doing that a lot lately. But they've done it without their soft-tossing lefty on-field mascot, Jamie Moyer, whose slow, painful, surprising march to 300 wins was undone last year by his ulnar collateral ligam...
Kerry Collins Will Never Bow To The Sands Of Time
Indianapolis Colts owner Jim Irsay on Twitter: "We have agreed to terms with Kerry Collins...more details to come." The details being: Indy is hopelessly fucked should soon-to-be-39-year-old Kerry Collins have to play a snap in that offense....
Great-Grandmother Banned For Invading Leeds' Soccer Field Just Wanted To Tell Lads She Loved 'Em
Margaret Musgrove, a 63-year-old great-grandmother from West Yorkshire, has been banned from the Leeds United stadium after running onto the field at Elland Road in May. She is much cooler and possibly drunker than your great-grandmother:...
Jack McKeon Has Had A Very Jack McKeon Couple Of Days
And it was a thing of beauty to watch, for fans who view coaches as interesting or influential as any athlete. Even if they're 80 years old and are baseball's Winston Wolf, just waiting for the call to clean up someone else's mess....
Old Man Jack McKeon Pulls Reliever In The Middle Of An At-Bat
Randy Choate started the eighth for Florida tonight: He walked Bobby Abreu on six pitches, then went to 2-1 on Alberto Callaspo. That's it, new 80-year-old sheriff in town Jack McKeon decided, and he pulled Choate for Burke Badenhop....
Old Man McKeon Has Already Benched Hanley Ramirez For Showing Up Late
Because the specials at the Bob Evans in Hialeah end at 4:30, and, well, you know. [Palm Beach Post]...
These Ladies Waited 185 Years To See The Mets Lose
Setting aside the fact that one's in a wheelchair and the team has been around for less than half of the other's life, that's still pretty good willpower. But Rebecca Lazofsky, 102, and daughter Miriam, 85, finally took in their first Mets game yesterday. One hopes they stuck around until the 9th so...
104-Year-Old Woman Celebrates Birthday At Tigers Game, Wastes Her Life
Her birthday was actually last month, but that game was naturally rained out. So yesterday Mary Johnson braved the 50-degree temperatures to take in her first Tigers game since 1936. The Tigers lost, of course....
Joe Paterno Uses Skype, Wonders Why He Can't Get A Dial Tone
Obvious joke: I had no idea you could Skype on the Jitterbug. Actually, you know what, this whole post and comments section is going to be obvious jokes about old people using technology. So let's just say this is probably some sort of recruiting violation, and Paterno thought he was talking to his ...
Alessandro Del Piero Ups The Stakes On Thomas Müller With A Nice One
Two great goals posted on the same day—how about that! Following Müller's outside of the boot corker, above is old man Del Piero proving that age hast not withered thine legs*....