the-u Page 134 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
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Head on over to SB Nation's Longform page and check out Eric Nusbaum's story on baseball's unknown slugger:...
Titus Young Will Take A Nap In Your AT&T Store
Titus Young isn't the kind of player to flame out in half-assed fashion. Oh no no no, when the man goes full turd, he REALLY goes full turd. And now here's a story from reader Ryan Randolph in which Titus Sr. takes his career immolation to another level by doing the whole Reese Witherspoon bit: ...
Watch The Undertaker And The Late Paul Bearer On An Old Episode Of <em>Live! With Regis And Kathie Lee</em>
Former WWF and WWE manager Paul Bearer (real name: Bill Moody) died last night at the age of 58. If you haven't already, read the essay The Masked Man wrote for us two years ago about The Undertaker. And in the meantime, check out this weird little gem from 1991, when The Undertaker and Paul Beare...
Let's All Watch Marco Rubio's Panicked Drink Of Water In Extreme Slow Motion
It was the swig heard 'round the world. Florida senator Marco Rubio, tasked with delivering the official Republican response to President Obama's State of the Union address, found himself parched and distant from the necessary tool to quench that burning fire. In other words, he was thirsty. Usual...
Red Alert: Jim Nantz Compromised, Hacked E-Mails Contain The Whitest Sentence On Record
When a hacker found his way into our 41st and 43rd presidents' personal e-mail accounts, exposing records of correspondence among the former leaders of the free world as well as George W. Bush's haunting paintings of himself bathing, we all had a good laugh. Unfortunately, the hack had some collater...
Stop Everything: Here's Chris Andersen And Mike Miller Performing "Ice Ice Baby"
Hot Hot Hoops took in Shane Battier's annual charity event in Miami Beach last night, and, I don't know, I guess some money was raised for a good cause or whatever. That's a distant second to the world-shattering levels of whiteness when Mike Miller and Chris "Birdman" Andersen cover Vanilla Ice's...
The Genius Romanian Carp Angling Team Beat England By Showing Up Five Months Early And Getting The Carp Addicted To Their Bait
Sometimes sports can seem so formulaic. Show up, play by the rules, stay between the lines, get your check, go home. Where's the intrigue, the gamesmanship, the clinical insanity? International carp-fishing competitions, that's where....
Everyone On Twitter Was Confused About Why Willis McGahee Didn't Say "The U" In His Player Intro Last Night
During Sunday Night Football, something weird happened. It wasn't that the quarterback with the misbehaving cervical vertebrae threw for 253 yards with two touchdowns and only seven incompletions, and it wasn't that the Steelers still hadn't learned how to cover Demaryius Thomas. Both of those eve...
The Undertaker Goes Shopping For A Baseball Bat: More Wrestler Run-Ins
Inspired by the saga of "Wrestling Superstar Virgil," we continue with readers' encounters with the titans of the squared circle. If you've had your own run-in with pro wrestlers past or present, e-mail us, subject line "Virgilbag."...
The Officeworker’s Viewing Guide To The U.S. Open
There is no excuse for anyone to miss a single serve of tennis or a single Sasha Vujacic hair toss at the U.S. Open this year, unless he or she is employed, disinterested, or has basic life responsibilities that might keep one from watching every hour of a two-week long sporting event. But! Just in ...
The Hidden Victim Of Yahoo Sports' Miami Report: Former Florida Guard Teddy DuPay
Yesterday's Yahoo Sports dressing-down of The U included all the usual NCAA hand-wringing: illegal cars, strippers, and cash. We got a little excited because stripper abortions and bowling Donna Shalala were involved. (Anytime there's an investigation this big, there has to be the littlest bit of so...
The Quirks Of Gambling On Professional Wrestling
Since the dawn of time, it's been mankind's dream to own the Sports Almanac from Back To The Future Part II. If one could know the result of a sporting event beforehand, one could make untold riches by gambling on it. While the Novikov self-consistency principle — or perhaps Calvinism — means this c...
(Un)dead Wrestler Of The Week: The Undertaker
An occasional feature in which we honor the sport's fallen and examine their legacies. Today we have a special edition of Dead Wrestler of the Week: The Undertaker, who defeated Triple H last night in WrestleMania 27 and who, while still very much alive, has long been a death-obsessed figure in a de...
Remember, Michael Vick Was On <em>Pros Vs. Joes</em> Just Eight Months Ago
Last March, Mike Vick's option was picked up by the Philadelphia Eagles. Since the Birds still had Donovan McNabb and Kevin Kolb on the roster, the move was a puzzling one that appeared to be less a real commitment to a backup Wildcat specialist than a nice gesture by an organization seeking a littl...
One Reason To Like The English Premier League: Chris Kamara
The EPL season started this past weekend and Fox and ESPN are gearing up to bring you more and more soccer from England and the rest of Europe this year. Unfortunately, they will deprive U.S. viewers of Sky Sports' Chris Kamara....
Roethlisberger's Wolfpack Growing Daily
Pittsburgh Review-Journal columnist Joe Starkey has a dream. In it, his hometown quarterback wouldn't get punished more for pesky rape accusations than, say, Vince "Allegedly Fights in Strip Clubs" Young or Tom "Allegedly Fights Everywhere, Hits Women" Cable....
A Dog Bit Through This Ultimate Fighter's Penis
Kyacey Uscola was eliminated from The Ultimate Fighter last week. It was the high point of his week, as he soon received an unplanned second urethra opening from an ornery pit bull....
"Dead" Wrestler Of The Week: The Ultimate Warrior
Every week, the Masked Man, Deadspin's pro wrestling correspondent, honors the sport's fallen and examines their legacies — famous and obscure alike. Today: The Ultimate Warrior, who according to rumor died in 1991. This is an investigation into that "death." [Update, April 9, 2014: He's dead, accor...
David Mamet's All-Caps Memo To TV Writers Is Delightful: "The Scene Is A Crock Of Shit"
Slashfilm got a hold of a David Mamet memo (say that three times fast and cuss profusely) to the writing staff of The Unit, a show he created. Simply put, he isn't pleased with their work. FUCK THE MACHINE! [Slashfilm]...