the Page 1000 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

One More Special Message To Go
David Hirshey writes regularly for Deadspin about soccer. Well, until today, anyway....

ESPN's Featured Comment Of The Day
ESPN scoured its message boards this morning to find its cleverest, boldest, most enlightening comment, and chose this one above all others ......

"Inside The NFL" Returns ... To Showtime
Good news, everybody: Those lamenting the loss of "Inside The NFL" take heed, because it's returning to television! Yay! Wait, it's only on Showtime. Boo!...

ESPN's Featured Comment Of The Day
ESPN scoured its message boards this morning to find its cleverest, boldest, most enlightening comment, and chose this one above all others ......

ESPN's Featured Comment Of The Day
ESPN scoured its message boards this morning to find its cleverest, boldest, most enlightening comment, and chose this one above all others ......

To Watch Tonight
What to watch while keeping your opinions to yourself......

Jimmy Rollins Is Recognizable
The Gray Lady has an amusing piece today limning a day in the life of the slavering subhuman horde that is the habitual autograph hound. The column tags them as "Sharpie-wielding stalkers," which might be a terrible slight to stalkers everywhere. I mean, at least most stalkers know who they're purs...

The Legend Of Kimbo Slice Takes 38 Consecutive Blows To The Head
I can't speak for the other MMA newbs out there, but I learned a few things during the EliteXC broadcast last night: apparently all MMA fights are stopped well before necessary. That and Kimbo Slice might not be living up to his outsize reputation. First, the announcer described internet sensation w...

If R. Kelly Should Be On Trial For Anything, It's Inspiring This
The MERKIN mercilessly turns out attention to this spoof of R. Kelly's "Ignition" honoring the Red Wings' Henrik Zetterberg. Does this mean he pees on girls, too? ...

Vince Young In Dire Need Of Media Training
Vince Young should probably just take a vow of silence or hire a full-time transcriber to follow him around when he's talking to the media, because it appears he's having trouble translating his own words. Last week, Young apparently told NFL.com writer Thomas George that he was considering retirem...

About Last Night
What you missed while paying tribute to Hedley Lamarr ... • NBA: Lakers complete their half of a potential Lakers-Celtics 1980s reunion. LA 100, San Antonio 92. • MLB: Welcome back, Joe. Here's another loss. Mets 8, Dodgers 4. • Horse racing: Big Brown guarantees Triple Crown victory....

Christiano Ronaldo's Gal Seems A Little Narcissistic
Anytime British tabs plop a naked lady in the middle of their paper whenever they bloody well please, it is a little jarring, but always amusing. Yes, there are hundreds of girl-on-manatee-style snuff films out there that would be more much more shocking to porny internet-attuned senses, but these p...

ESPN Confusingly Rids Itself Of Mark Madden's Vileness
Hiring a "shock jock" at a radio station always comes with a certain amount of risk. The lines of good and bad taste are usually drawn up arbitrarily, and punishment for crossing this imaginary line is usually enforced when a certain segment of listeners, advertisers, or executives are personally of...

Ryan Howard And His Dancing Turkey Neck
Being a sports reporter is, at times, an absolutely horrible job. Sure you get to watch games, travel and interact with athletes, but there is a horrendous downside. (Which is pretty much everything else.) And this is never more disturbingly clear than when a reporter has their first (or 50th) awf...

Vince Young Talks About His Rebound From NFL Joylessness
Well, Vince Young is having himself an active offseason so far. First, he had to explain himself and apologize for that shirtless night out with his Texas cronies and, now, he's admitting that the pressures of the NFL almost drove him to retire after his first season....

To Watch Tonight
What to watch while remodeling Bubble Man's dorm room... • 5 p.m. — NASCAR: Coca-Cola 600, Concord, North Carolina. In a blind race test, what's more exciting: this race or the Pepsi 400? [FOX] • 7 p.m. — NCAA softball: Georgia at UCLA. There's no crying in softball, but there's no by-laws applicabl...

Marion Barber Unaware Of Marion Barber Rule
Keeping with the obliviousness-to-rules motif — hey, it makes us feel better about ourselves — Dallas Cowboys running back Marion Barber III, esq. has made a name for himself by stiff arming the defenders in the face. Apparently that's always been a rule. But now the league will begin to clamp down ...

When The Simpsons Were Edgy, But Not Funny
There've been a lot of Simpsons games throughout the years, few of them any good. The one that stands the test of time was probably the original arcade game. I recommend it today as you watch the Indy 500. So I know what you're asking. "Where am I going to find the original arcade machine?" That rea...

About Last Night...
What you missed re-creating the chase scene from Space Mutiny... • NBA: Yeah, well, Boston still hasn't won two road games yet. • NHL: Son of Samuel goes on massive scoring spree, dozens wounded, Red Wings at large with 4-0 win. • MLB: Cubs won the first eight innings. Problem is, the dang thing wen...

Gary Carter Wonders If He Should Let The Mets Know He Wants To Manage Them
Willie Randolph could very well be Art Howe-ing his way out of a job in New York, but what's kind of important is the fact that he still has employment with the Mets. That hasn't stopped Gary Carter, who's currently managing an independent minor league team in California, to start inquiring about wh...