the Page 1000 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Culprit Found In Eight Belles Tragedy. It's Hillary, Of Course
Backing the wrong horse is always deadly in politics, especially when it's an actual horse. Poor Hillary Clinton. How can someone get into trouble just betting on the Kentucky Derby? By making a huge deal about placing a bet on a horse that had to be destroyed right on the track, that's how. Now PET...

Streakin' Ain't Easy
Unless, of course, you are Tiffany May, who reached mid-level internet notoriety thanks to her patriotic half-streak during the USA v. Honduras qualifying match last March. May has parlayed her spirited underwear dash into a Playboy pictorial, where she will bravely ditch the rest of her clothes and...

It's Getting Crowded In Horse Valhalla
Eight Belles is probably in Heaven by now, galloping in fields of clover on four sturdy legs and eating tasty apples. No, I'm not sure which friends she's romping about with up there (a safe bet; one of them is not Christopher Reeve). Down here on earth, though, things are quite unsettled. Who is to...

About Last Night
What you missed while mourning another tragic Civil War casualty ... • NHL: *Yawn!* Is the Stars-Sharks game over yet? • MLB: Maddux vows to win No. 350 before the next appearance of comet Hale-Bopp. • NBA: Confused Jazz discover that hack-a-Kobe strategy does not work. Los Angeles 109, Utah 98....

Gussying Up the WNBA's Rookie Class
The WNBA, like other professional leagues, holds an annual orientation for their new rookie class. Unlike other professional leagues, this orientation featured courses on hairstyles, makeup tips, and other non-pillow fighting related slumber party activities....

A Beautiful Day to Watch Others Exercise
• In Progress — NBA: Boston Celtics vs. Atlanta Hawks. Mike Woodson tried to get excited for Game Seven, but he's just so steamed about that Rookie of the Year vote. [ABC] • 2:00 — NHL: Pittsburgh Penguins vs. New York Rangers. Can the Penguins close them out? Are you still reading? [NBC] • 3:00 — P...

Pistonmania Is Running Wild On The Magic!
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who is eagerly awaiting the Hawks-Celtics game. When he's not stenciling a green shamrock on his butt cheeks, he can be found holding Damon Wayans hostage at Basketbawful. Enjoy!...

BWI Isn't Just a Crappy Airport In Maryland
Cedric Benson, the oft-maligned running back of the Chicago Bears, was arrested last night by the Lower Colorado River Authority (the LAPD of southwest waterways) after being stopped for suspicion of boating while intoxicated. The 25 year-old was hosting between 12 and 15 guests on his 30-foot boat...


About Last Night
What you missed while setting New Orleans on fire... • NBA: For some reason the New Orleans Hornet attempted to jump through a ring of fire in between the first and second quarter. Once they put out the fire the Hornets couldn't be stopped. • Boxing: Oscar de la Hoya dispatched of Stevie Forbes with...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch while wondering if the new statue at Staples Center will sport fishnets... • Oscar de la Hoya vs. Steve Forbes. Check back in later tonight. [HBO] • The Detroit Pistons host the Orlando Magic in the first game of the NBA Playoff's second round. The first round should be wrapping up any...

They're Ready to Run For the Roses
The little people are mounting their steeds, which means the most exciting two minutes in sports (setting aside the final two minutes in almost all other highly contested sporting events) can't be far behind. Oh wait, they're playing "My Old(e?) Kentucky Home. This could take a while. Hey, an ex-boy...

For Your Afternoon Viewing Pleasure
• Her. • 3:00 — Golf: Wachovia Championship, Third Round. No Tiger, but a talented leaderboard nonetheless. [CBS] • 3:00 — Horses: Kentucky Derby. Post time is 6:00 pm. [NBC] • 3:00 — Horses: Live at the Derby. Every time I turn it on the dog starts barking. It's either the horses or Kenny Mayne's e...

Sacha Baron Cohen's New Guy Is Tall
Wait a minute, where did all of those Hawks fans come from?...

Your Derby Morning Horsey Preview
This may come as a surprise to some, given my affinity for sports nobody else likes, but I don't know dick about horse racing. That's why I've brought in reader Randy King to provide a little bit of knowledge while we wait to lose lots of money. His words are after the jump....

About Last Night
What you missed while wondering if Tim Donaghy was so bad after all... • NBA: The Cavs knocked the Wizards out of the playoffs, and I don't really want to talk about it right now. • Boxing: Andre Dirrell got his balls back, and remained undefeated, with a stylish stoppage over Anthony Hanshaw. More ...

And It's C-m Rocket In The Lead!
This weekend, those of you who are equine-obsessed or have an affinity for minty rum drinks and giant pink hats, will most likely have a rooting interest in the most exhilarating two minutes in sports, the Kentucky Derby. Right now, the favorite horse is a strapping young colt named "Big Brown", a n...

May Day! May Day! Detroit Is On Fire!
So May started out pretty well if you happen to live in the 3-1-3. Within the space of two hours, the Pistons dispatched the 76ers to go to Round Two of the NBA Playoffs, the Red Wings pummeled the Avalanche to sweep that series, and the Tigers ... well, the Tigers pulled off the greatest feat of a...

About Last Night
What you missed due to a slight preoccupation with porn ... • MLB: A.J. Burnett provides Canada some good news for a change. Blue Jays 3, Red Sox 0. • NBA: Kevin Durant wins NBA Rookie of the Year award. Seattle sues to keep trophy from moving to Oklahoma City. • NHL: Rangers postpone the inevitable...

Congrats, Sigh, To Uncle Avram
David Hirshey writes regularly for Deadspin about soccer....