the Page 1033 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

You Can't Tell, But Howie Long Is Erect

If we know our average Deadspin reader, you were obviously watching "Fox & Friends" on the Fox News Channel this morning. But just in case ... Richard Simmons was hanging out with the FOX NFL Sunday crew. Finally, someone who makes Jimmy Johnson look well dressed, and Terry Bradshaw look less gay. ...

Shaq Fu, Toppling The Chinese

Eastern Illinois has a very charming associate athletic director. [Mattoon Journal-Gazette]...

The NBA has a new slogan. Apparently the old one expired. [Awful Announcing]...

Phil Rizzuto has died at the age of 89. We salute anyone who played baseball splendidly and appeared in a Meat Loaf song. [1010Wins]...

About Last Night ...

What you missed while uncovering the terrible secret of Giant Lego Man ... • MLB: Richie Sexson? Boooo ... no wait , yaaay! Mariners 4, Twins 3. • NFL preseason: Jay Cutler plays for one magical series in Denver's 17-13 win over San Francisco. • Tennis: David Ferrer defeats the freakishly tall John ...

Trying Hard To Be Pure Of Spirit

David Hirshey writes regularly for Deadspin about soccer....

It's Like, Major League Soccer, Only Overseas And Interesting

By popular demand: Recapping the first weekend of Premier League soccer action, without having a damn clue what I'm even writing, despite having Hirshey's EPL preview open in a separate window:...

Any aspirations you Jets and Giants fans have to get in some tailgating before games this year, well, you can just forget those. [Journal News]...

About Last Night ...

What you missed while trying out your homemade helicopter... • NFL Preseason: Browns 16, Chiefs 12. Charlie Frye won the coin toss, but not our hearts. • MLB: Angels 4, Twins 3. Maicer Izturis, so hot right now. • IRL: Tony Kanaan wins, Dario Franchitti goes airborne, Danica Patrick cuts a tire. Jus...

Jake Delhomme. Bojangles chicken 'n biscuits. It's a match made in marketing heaven. (My tipster deftly notes how the black market biscuit dealer in the commercial resembles Vinny Testaverde. Somewhere, Gino Torretta is hocking imitation Sonic tater tots.) [Charlotte.com]...

To Watch Tonight

What to watch as the tower fan in the corner scans the room, quietly plotting its revenge... • IRL: Meijer 300 at Kentucky Speedway, 6:30 p.m. When you think about it, you never see open wheel cars on cinder blocks. [ESPN2] • Little League Baseball: Great Lakes Region final, Hamilton, OH vs. New Alb...

Sergio Garcia Struggles With Remedial Math

The Deadspin Comment Threadjackal System really works, because without it, I may have missed a goldmine unfold before our eyes. The world's foremost hard-luck PGA golfer, Sergio Garcia, was disqualilfied from the PGA Championship for signing his third round scorecard with an incorrect score. But he'...

Coors Light is in discussion with former Arizona Cardinals coach Dennis Green to make one of those rather genius mock press conference commercials. What remains to be seen is if footage The Rant will be included in the ad. If it's not, what's the point? [Advertising Age]...

Because Romeo Crennel can't decide which of his Cleveland Browns should start at quarterback for the first preseason game, he'll do the noble thing: flip a coin. Maybe before the game, refs will decide who receives the ball first based on which team performed best at training camp. [Sox & Dawgs]...

Jon Miller Learns Carlos Lee Trivia The Hard Way

We can't always be on our "A" game every single weekend. (Lord knows I'm hoping that's true.) Sometimes the perfect storm of events jar one's concentration just enough to experience a near meltdown. In my case, the day was June 25, 2007. I had locked my keys in a rental car. But keeping it together ...

Hey, New Yorkers, come out to Kinsale Tavern this weekend to meet David Hirshey and watch some Premiership. He'll be there from 7:45 a.m.-2 p.m. on Saturday and 7 a.m.-1 p.m. on Sunday. From Hirshey: "If they introduce themselves to me and say nice things about Arsenal, I'll buy the first round on L...

About Last Night ...

What you missed while helping Giant Lego Man celebrate his 75th birthday ... • MLS: Beckham makes LA Galaxy debut before a sellout crowd ... we welcome our new soccer overlords. • MLB: Say Hey, Willie! Harris, Braves rob Mets. • Golf: It's just too freakin' hot for Tiger at the PGA Championship. So,...

Your PGA Championship Preview

The final "Major" "Championship" kicks off this weekend, the PGA Championship. It's at the Southern Hills Country Club, which is in Tulsa, Oklahoma....

Make These Women Carry Your Stuff

The woman in this photo is Lucy Dardiner, one of the specialty caddies from England's Eye Candy Caddies. The concept is what you think it is: Attractive people, carrying your clubs and, we dunno, feeding you grapes or something....