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How Would Jay Bilas Fix The NCAA?
Originally published in Bloomberg View...
![A Hero Emerges In The Milwaukee Racing Sausage-Napping [UPDATE]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/18fzhpk4dbfedjpg.jpg)
A Hero Emerges In The Milwaukee Racing Sausage-Napping [UPDATE]
We told you earlier today about the theft of beloved Brewers Italian racing sausage, Guido. The whereabouts of Guido and his thieving conspirators—it's got to be at least a two-man job at this point—remain a mystery. Their days may be numbered however thanks to one brave woman's plan: free mustard....

Once Upon A Time, They Made Fantasy Movies Like This. <em>Jack The Giant Slayer</em>, Reviewed.
1. It's sort of amazing how low the bar has fallen for big tentpole action/fantasy films. With the rise of 3-D (and, more to the point, 3-D surcharges), spectacle is the minimum entrance requirement, and even that has been watered down to the point of monotony. You can pick your poison, but I've alw...

Who's The Latest Person To Say Dumb Things About Gay Players In The NFL?
Why it's former journeyman quarterback Jim Miller! Everyone, you remember Jim, right? Jim is best known for his stint in Chicago, including leading the Bears to the 2001 playoffs, but now works as a postgame analyst on CSN Chicago and lives a good, conservative, god-fearing life....

Casey Prather Pondered Life, Existence, And Why Blood Was Pouring From His Skull
Tennessee knocked off #8 Florida last night 64-58, and it was an unhappy homecoming for Casey Prather even before the final buzzer sounded. The junior Gators guard and Tennessee native earned a nasty gash to the face late in the game, in the process possibly taking on his third concussion of the se...

Your <em>Slightly</em> Early Oscar Predictions For 2014
The only thing we know for certain about next year's Oscars is that: a) Seth MacFarlane won't be hosting them, and b) It's pretty stupid to be talking about them already. But being stupid has never stopped me before....

"She's A 10!": Brent Musburger Signs Poster Of Katherine Webb
Some lucky fan before tonight's Kansas-Iowa State game got close enough to Brent Musburger to get a picture and a cleverly autographed poster....

Junior College Basketball Team Punished Because School President Bailed A Player Out Of Jail
Folks in Iowa call the basketball rivalry between Indian Hills Community College and Southeastern Community College the "War on 34," a reference to the U.S. highway that connects the two schools. On Feb. 16, Indian Hills won on the road at Southeastern to sweep the season series. The game went to ...

Jose Canseco's Oscar Night Tweets, Illustrated
We've long believed Jose Canseco's Twitter account to have transcended his Earthly realm. (In other words, it's possible somebody else is doing most of the tweeting.) That doesn't mean those tweets aren't still occasionally funny when provided with some context. Here, then, is what Jose Canseco was...

FYI: Tackling A Streaker May Result In A Face Full Of Balls And Ass
And we all have Ruben Wiki, a trainer for the New Zealand Warriors and a former rugby player, to thank for the helpful demonstration, captured here by the Otago Daily Times of Dunedin, NZ. A naked man had dashed across the pitch during halftime of Saturday's National Rugby League trial game between ...

The Sports Fan: What I Learned From Three Days Of Watching Baseball With Bill Murray
In 1990, Peter Richmond spent three days with Bill Murray in Chicago, eating and drinking and watching ballgames at Wrigley Field. He wrote about the experience for The National Sports Daily. His story was recently republished on Bronx Banter and appears here with permission....

Sandra Bullock Should Take Up Weightlifting
Sandra Bullock had some trouble opening the envelope for Best Editing last night, and perhaps she might avoid such embarrassing circumstances in the future if she starts a weightlifting regimen. After all, she's already got the liftface down pat....

Seth MacFarlane Wasn't The Worst Oscar Host Ever: In Defense Of A Boob
For Seth MacFarlane's critics, Sunday night was supposed to be the moment we finally got to see the guy get his comeuppance. A "billion" viewers around the world, one of the most prestigious gigs in all of entertainment: As Oscar host, this was his chance to justify his swiftly, perhaps inexplicably...

Your 100 Percent Bile-Filled Oscars Live Blog
It's finally here! Oscar Night! Speeches! Safe wardrobe choices! Four million references to "old Hollywood glamour"! Diet Pepsi commercials! Tap dance montages! THE WHOLE SHEBANG. I can't wait. I hope you've had as much Chardonnay as I've had, because I am feeling BITCHAY. ...

Ohio University Made A Bowl Game, Won Big, And Lost $78,569
How little sense does the BCS make? Well, apart from the difficult-to-calculate, in some cases negligible gains a university makes from the exposure of a bowl game—anyone applying (or donating) to Fresno State because they got crushed by SMU in the Hawaii Bowl?—the total cost of travel and accommoda...

Guy Who Ran Onto The Court During A Toronto Raptors Game Wearing "Bucket List" Shirt Has Super-Lame Bucket List
Last night, a fan interrupted the Knicks-Raptors game in Toronto—during the fourth quarter, when the teams was within two—by running out on to the court and circling around a bit. His foray was short lived, as you can see in the photo above, and we salute the quick work of security personnel at the ...

The 15 Or So Most Watchable Teams In College Basketball: An Occasional Ranking
A weekly (or so) ranking of college basketball teams on the basis of watchability and with very little regard to how good they might be. ...

Rain, Trains, And Dead Kids: What To Put In Your Movie If You Want To Win An Oscar
Welcome to Dataspin, a weekly data visualization of whatever the fuck....

The 2013 Hater's Guide To The Oscars
Time to put on our bitchy pants and say shitty things about the Oscars and everyone nominated for the Oscars. Now, according to Entertainment Weekly, this year’s Oscars will be “song-and-dance heavy,” which is arguably the most terrifying thing I have ever read. The Grammys were two weeks ago. That ...

Rachel Nichols Tips Her Glass To A New Career With Turner
Rachel Nichols made her first appearance with TNT last night as the ESPN evacuee worked the floor for the devastatingly boring Spurs-Clippers game....