the Page 827 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The NFL Was Completely Fine With "Smash-For-Cash" Bounty Programs 16 Years Ago [Updated With Video]
The four players implicated in the Saints bounty scandal are in a kind of limbo, as their suspension appeals make their way through through federal court, as well as the league's CBA-mandated appeals process. The latest movement comes in a Louisiana District Court, where yesterday the NFLPA filed...
Captain Greenbeard Invites You Upon His Ship, The <em>S.S. Acid Flashback</em>
Oregon continued on its path of destruction last night, obliterating Todd Graham's Arizona State team in Tempe in a game that wasn't near as close as the score might indicate. It brought a smile to the face of Ducks fans who ventured into the Valley of the Sun, this gentleman in particular who we'r...
A Semi-Comprehensive List Of Everything Tyler Perry Pretends To Do In <em>Alex Cross</em>
Tyler Perry, tired (temporarily) of wearing dresses in his own movies, stars tomorrow in Alex Cross, playing the titular character of James Patterson's series of novels. Here is a semi-comprehensive list of everything Tyler Perry pretends to do in Alex Cross, in order. Spoilers abound....
Chris Stone Wins The <em>Sports Illustrated</em> Bake-Off, Takes Over The Weekly Magazine
Last month we told you there was a bake-off at Sports Illustrated to determine the magazine's next managing editor. Now we have a winner: assistant managing editor Chris Stone....
Cam Newton Spent His Bye Week Soul-Searching And Living Out Every 12-Year-Old's Fantasies
The world is not happy with Cam Newton at present. Newton hasn't been the fantasy force he was last year, and he hasn't been the real-football force, either. The Panthers are 1-4, and both Newton's completion percentage and Total QBR have fallen from last year's levels. But he does not despair, repo...
Fox Needs To Update Their St. Louis Stock Footage, As Last Night's NLCS Closing Shot Featured A "Go Pujols" Sign
As Fox ended its broadcast of a much-delayed ending to last night's NLCS Game 3, a curious thing seemed to scroll across the gaudy videoboard atop the Lumière Place casino: "GO PUJOLS." While it's possible the person in charge of such messages never learned of the slugger's exit from the Cardinals ...
<em>The Sessions</em> And The Trap Of The Disease-Of-The-Week Movie
All genres have their trademarks. In romantic comedies, the two meet, fall in love, break up, and then wind up together. In action movies, a lot of ass is kicked, then more ass is kicked, and then at the end, a hell of a lot of ass is kicked. That predictability isn't always a bad thing—after all, w...
The New York Yankees Have A Coke Problem
Detroit reliever Phil Coke put up pedestrian pitching numbers this year; a 4.00 ERA and 1.65 WHIP while averaging less than a strikeout an inning won't get the ladies into much of a sweat—especially in the AL Central, where the only decent hitting could be found on Coke's own team....
This Isn't Your Life: On the Brilliant, Trippy <em>Holy Motors</em>
We like to believe that we're the masters of our own destinies, that our lives are ours to do with as we wish. But in reality, that's not true. We behave differently around our bosses than we do around our friends. Even as grown-ups, we still revert to childish tendencies when we're around our paren...
Yep, A Saints Fan Filed A Class-Action Lawsuit Against Roger Goodell And The NFL Over Bountygate
Surely it was just a matter of time. When it turned out that months of whiny baby complaining and conspiracy claims weren't going to change anything, a lawsuit became the only rational weapon left in Saints' fans arsenals. (Rational being a relative term, but everyone on every side of the bounty sca...
If Ever A Moment Called For Facepalm, It's Philip Rivers Last Night
How do you blow a 24-0 halftime lead? Account for six turnovers, as Philip Rivers did last night in guiding the Chargers to a 35-24 final score, and you might just do it. To say it was laughable is an understatement, though most of us were, indeed, laughing. (Hopefully after the final interception—...
Jonathan Vilma Will Reportedly Play In At Least One Shitty Football Game This Season
Jonathan Vilma was suspended for the entirety of the season by Roger Goodell due to his alleged participation the the Saints bounty program. His suspension was then overturned on what amounted to a technicality. Then he was placed on the physically unable to perform list because of a knee injury. N...
Aaron Rodgers Threw For Six Touchdowns, But It Was A.J. Hawk's Performance That Was Truly Shocking
The NFL's ongoing effort to combat breast cancer by wearing colorful clothing continues, and Packers linebacker A.J. Hawk was happy to take part in repping the pink during last night's 42-24 dominance by Green Bay in Houston, and, wow, that score's not just a palindrome but the number two paired wi...
Horny Teenager Sells The Family Jewels To Visit A Brothel
This is just a delightful story of adolescent hjinks with a dash of sexiness and an appropriate amount of criminality. A 14-year-old boy stole some jewelry from his mother and he and his buddy sold it on the cheap and bought some hookers. Everything about this story is great, including the police st...
How Do Recovering Cheaters Comply With NCAA Regulations?
While the NCAA has a vested interest in keeping premier programs strong, the Urban Meyer hire at Ohio State may still have been disheartening to those in charge of keeping the school's football team in line. Five months after paragon Buckeye Jim Tressel resigned in the wake of a non-compliance scand...
This Week's Signs Of The Apocalypse
For nearly two decades, Sports Illustrated has stirred the tea leaves to discern a weekly Sign of the Apocalypse. Deadspin salutes the magazine's ongoing effort to cover the end of times but declines to cede the scoop on the biggest event in world history....
Less Is More: How The <em>Paranormal Activity</em> Movies Got Better With Each Sequel
Sequels are almost never as good as the original movie, so it's a downright miracle when a franchise gets better as it goes along. It's hard to think of many that achieved that feat, but here's one you may not have considered: The Paranormal Activity series....
Even If Icing The Kicker Doesn't Work, It's Better Than Never Icing The Kicker
Mike Tomlin iced the kicker twice last night, but with an unfortunate twist: First, he called a timeout on his own kicker, Shaun Suisham, who proceeded to miss a 54-yarder. Then he stopped the Titans' Rob Bironas just as he was about to attempt the game-winning 40-yarder. Bironas waited two minutes ...
<em>The B.S. Report</em> Report: A Parlay For The Ages
Julia Alvidrez, Gawker Media's operations manager, is an unabashed fan of Bill Simmons and everything Grantland. She is also an occasional reader of Deadspin. Every week, she will recap Simmons's podcast, The B.S. Report, for us....