the Page 834 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The NCAA Is Using Penn State To Justify Its Own Horrid Existence
OK, first of all, you people at the NCAA are gutless shitbags. I know you're probably spending this morning in an Indianapolis conference room patting each other on the back and tugging each other's cocks and ordering EXTRA Einstein bagels for everyone for a job well done (why not, you've got $60 mi...
Penn State NCAA Sanctions: Four-Year Bowl Ban, Vacated Wins, $60 Million Fine, Significant Scholarship Reductions
The NCAA has announced its punishment of Penn State at a press conference in Indianapolis: ...
The A's Finishing A Four-Game Sweep Of The Yankees Is So Improbable It Sounds Like Something Out Of WWE
A game-tying homer in the ninth forced extras, and Coco Crisp's 12th-inning walkoff single closed the door on an unexpected four-game series sweep of the Yankees for Oakland. The performance had Yanks fans wondering if happy days would ever return and the rest of the American League East breathing ...
Drew Brees's Attorney Drafts Affidavit In Support Of Jonathan Vilma, Drew Brees Signs Affidavit
The affidavit was filed in federal court on Saturday in support of Jonathan Vilma's motion to dismiss Roger Goodell's decision to suspend Vilma for the 2012 season....
Here Is The Most Insane Review Of <em>The Dark Knight Rises</em> You Will Ever Read
Do you remember those kids in your college literature course who were the absolute worst during discussions? The ones who would make completely off-the-wall statements about even the most straightforward pieces of literature. The ones who would say shit like, "Actually, I think Bartleby The Scriven...
Every Winner Of The Ernest Hemingway Look-Alike Contest, In Descending Order Of How Much They Look Like Ernest Hemingway
Every year, on the third Saturday in July, Sloppy Joe's Bar in Key West hosts the Hemingway Look-Alike Society's Hemingway Look-Alike Contest. The 2012 champion will be named tomorrow. We went through 31 years of winners, and ranked them all on how much they look like Ernest Hemingway, starting with...
Metta World Peace Is Now Friends With The Fan Who Threw A Drink At Him In Detroit
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: World Peace has come to terms with what happened that day....
Remembering The Pre-Famous Ben Stiller Of <em>The Ben Stiller Show</em>
You'd think life would be pretty good for Ben Stiller. In the last six years, he's been part of six movies that made more than $100 million. Another one, the indie drama Greenberg, earned him great reviews. He's one of the biggest comic stars in the world. A lot of people would love to be in his pos...
Do Not Wear Giants Gear To An Oakland A's Game Or A Saint Bernard May Try To Bite You
Bark At The Park night in MLB stadiums is the exact opposite of Parks & Rec day: instead of the stadium being full of snotty kids, it is instead filled with a bunch of cute dogs. The evening didn't go so well for this Giants fan, though, whose attempt to cozy up with a Saint Bernard appeared to ha...
So, What Kind of Batman Movie Should They Make Next?
Whatever your thoughts end up being about The Dark Knight Rises—even if you're like me, say, and think it pales it comparison to the previous two films but still sorta blows you away—Christopher Nolan has wrapped up his trilogy in a fashion that clearly won't damage his legacy: This isn't Spider-Man...
The Steroids Era Was Just Like The Housing Bubble: How MLB Incentivized Widespread Fraud
Excerpted from Twilight of the Elites, available now wherever books are sold....
Today In Insanely Homophobic Statements From Small-Town Sports Columnists
Oh jeez. This is the kind of column you read, and then you do your due diligence to make sure it's not a parody news site. It's not! The Niagara Falls Reporter is real, and Lenny Palumbo is a real person, and he really wrote this....
Jimmy Rollins: Sass Machine
With a series sweep of the Dodgers an out away and Jonathan Papelbon on the mound, the Philadelphia Phillies might have had their bags mentally packed. But when Matt Kemp beat out a deep infield single—one that drove in the tying run and eventually led to Kemp's walk-off 12th-inning homer—Jimmy Rol...
No, Jason Whitlock Did Not Just Tweet Out His Social Security Number
Say what you will about Jason Whitlock, but the man is not stupid enough to actually tweet out his Social Security number, is he? Not tonight, he isn't. According to a public records request, Whitlock was born in Indiana in 1967 and has a SSN that starts with a number between 303 and 317. (A SSN tha...
Dhani Jones Took An Incredible Photo Of A Storm Consuming New York
Did you know it's raining hard over here on the East Coast? You probably did, because your East Coast friends on Twitter won't shut up about it. But when you've got a picture this good, it's okay to share....
Bruce Wanes. <em>The Dark Knight Rises</em>, Reviewed.
1. The first two Batman films from director Christopher Nolan were so transcendent, so ambitious and challenging and grand, that The Dark Knight Rises feels like more of a disappointment than it should. The first two movies, especially The Dark Knight, were miracles, an impossible combination of uni...
Disenfranchise Mode: The Exhausting, Infuriating, Totally Addictive Baseball Simulation Game That Imitates Life Too Well
The summer after my freshman year of college, I told somebody's mother that I wouldn't be attending her son's funeral. I remember the moment, if not the conversation, with great clarity. I was working in my dad's shop, filling orders for spare bike rack parts, when my phone rang. My hands were stick...
Reds Analyst Chris Welsh Ransacked Don Cherry's Wardrobe
If there's anything a sports commentator can do to prove he (or she) is grounded and sane, it's to wear a ridiculous outfit. After all, it works for Craig Sager and Don Cherry. So here's Fox Sports Ohio Reds analyst Chris Welsh sprucing up his usual outfit with a colorful number we're not quite sur...
Whoa, We're Halfway There: The Grierson & Leitch Top 12 Movies Of The First Half of 2012
Shockingly, we are more than halfway through 2012. (It's a backloaded year: Olympics, election, total global catastrophe—all stacked up from late July on.) As always, the best, most "prestigious" movies won't be released until November or December, because the people who vote on the Oscars are senil...