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How To Watch The London Olympics Opening Ceremony Live (And Give The Finger To NBC)
NBC is airing today's Olympics opening ceremony on tape-delay, and won't be streaming it live on their website (like the actual events they're so proud to let you know about). If you'd like to join those of us who care to watch the ceremony live, here are your options:...
NCAA Should Have Done Its Own Investigation Before Punishing Penn State, Says Member Of Group That Investigated Penn State
We told you yesterday how Penn State could have fought the NCAA in court over the sanctions it received earlier this week. Our own Drew Magary has also explained that the NCAA levied the punishment it did to pretty much show the world it's doing something because what happened was just so horrible a...
Here Are Your All-Time Vacated Standings For Division I College Football
The NCAA swung its shithammer on Monday, and Penn State had to vacate a staggering 112 victories. Joe Paterno was no longer the winningest coach in college football history. But he became the winningest coach in another college football universe. Here, for the first time, are the NCAA's all-time va...
Famous People Trying To Be Funny. <em>The Watch</em>, Reviewed.
The Watch is The Avengers of comic superstar movies, if the Avengers decided they didn't really want to work together and looked sorta annoyed occupying the same story. The movie stars Ben Stiller, Vince Vaughn, and Jonah Hill, and it's rare to see a film in which so many big names seem to be operat...
How Penn State Could Have Fought The NCAA And Won
The NCAA dropped those "unprecedented" punishments on Penn State on Monday, and they're mighty. There's the usual—scholarship cuts, probation, bowl bans, vacated wins, a fine—but amplified to heretofore unseen levels....
We Will Go On Believing That The Olympians Crashed Grindr, Despite What Grindr Says
A couple of days ago, the gay cruising app Grindr crashed in London around the same time Olympians arrived. This is an entirely plausible cause-and-effect that admits no other explanation strictly on account of its sheer gay awesomeness....
The Cats Are Fat And Happy
South Korea drew 0-0 with Mexico in an early but entertaining men's soccer match this morning, one with a result we think satisfied this fan—if only because it meant he could finally take that ridiculous thing off....
Skip Schumaker Got Fisted By A Teammate After The Cardinals' Walk-Off Win
The Cardinals were, understandably, very excited about with their 3-2 walk-off win over the Dodgers tonight. Unfortunately, Skip Schumaker, who had no part to play in the outcome other than striking out in the bottom of the 12th, was on the receiving end of a pumped-up Kyle Lohse, who pitched seve...
Opposing Coaches Hung Out Today In A Penn State Parking Lot, Hoping To Poach Players
At a press conference on Monday, NCAA president Mark Emmert emphasized that Penn State was being slapped with unprecedented sanctions because "our goal is not to be just punitive, but to make sure the university establishes an athletic culture and daily mindset in which football will never again be ...
Superman, Drunk Girls, And <em>Life of Pi</em>: Let's Look At Some Movie Trailers!
In this installment of Trailer Hitch, our semi-regular rundown of the biggest recent movie trailers, I've got a superhero flick, a broad comedy, a couple Oscar contenders, and a dance movie. Who says Hollywood only caters to one type of audience? Also, I would love to meet the person who is really e...
Instead Of Nike Gear, Egypt Gave Its Olympic Athletes Chinese Knockoffs
One of the most basic roles of a nation's Olympic committee is to outfit its athletes: clothes, bags, training gear, all that good stuff. Someone at the Egyptian Olympic Committee appears to have outsourced that responsibility to the lowest bidder, because all 117 Egyptian Olympians were given count...
What's It Like To Sing The Anthem At A Baseball Game? The Story Of One Man's Perilous Fight
When I was a kid, I used to sing in the school choir. We had recitals for parents and teachers, and for the recitals we'd have to dress up in chinos and dress shirts, and the music teacher would arrange us along a set of risers, with all the tall boys in back and all the short girls in the front, ou...
Cal Ripken's Mom Safe After Tuesday Morning Abduction At Gunpoint
There's not a whole lot of information available on this story yet, but what is is crazy:...
I Wanna Be Anarchy, Please: A Guide To Olympics Protesters And The Polite, Lovable Chaos Of London
LONDON—Summer does strange things to big cities. When the days get long and hot, it feels as if all the normals go take shelter somewhere in the countryside, and all the weirdos start coming out of the woodwork. In this haven of eccentricity known as London, where summer often lasts only about 10 da...
Yes, Theo Epstein's Accused Stalker Wore A Red Sox Shirt To Her Mental Competency Hearing
The Harvard-educated crazy lady who showed up in Chicago last week on Cubs GM Theo Epstein's doorstep can't sue us for calling her "crazy lady," it turns out. Kathleen Kearney was named a ward of the state of Massachusetts nine years ago because of mental illness, and she was released on bond in Ill...
Ryan Kalil Takes Out Full-Page Newspaper Ad Guaranteeing A Panthers Super Bowl Victory
Athletes have to mince words. You ask them if they think they're the best, or if their team is going to win it all, and they probably believe the answer is yes, but know they can't just say that. They know they'll get roasted in the media and by opposing fans and players, so they pussyfoot around. T...
Daily Screencap Classic: Jim Tressel Can't Believe His Eyes
I'm in the office this week instead of my usual militarized sports media bunker in Jacksonville, which (ironically?) means it won't be easy to do my job grab our usual screencaps. Thus, I elected to remind ourselves of the mass outrage just one short year ago when we learned Jim Tressel did various...
<em>Killer Joe</em> Is the Most Amoral, Repugnant, Fantastic Movie You'll See All Year
About three-quarters of the way through Killer Joe, the terrific and cheerfully evil film opening this Friday, Matthew McConaughey pointedly, if seemingly absently, picks up a chicken leg from a bucket of KFC. You might not realize it at the time, but this is the Chekov's Gun of chicken legs. This i...
Arizona State Created A Twitter Hashtag For Fans To Submit Media Day Questions To Coach Todd Graham. Hilarity Ensued.
Hard though it may be to believe, there are still media relations people out there who think it's a good idea to encourage folks to use Twitter hashtags to send interactive questions to members of their favorite teams. Arizona State put out the word the other day that #AskASU would be a way to send ...
Photo Without Commentary: Two Canadian Dudes At The Olympic Village
Here's a photo of two dudes being dudes at the Canadian part of the Olympic Village that was just uploaded to USA Today's Pinterest board. And here's a photo of just one of the dudes before the other one came by to grab a look outside. There is no back story....