the Page 845 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Jonathan Vilma Sues Roger Goodell For Defamation
Saints linebacker Jonathan Vilma was suspended one full season for his role in the Saints' bounty scandal, and immediately appealed. Beyond that, the NFLPA argued before independent arbitrator Shyam Das (we've heard his name before) that Roger Goodell didn't have the authority to punish players....
TNT Should Not Have Allowed This Morbidly Obese Sixers Fan To Participate In The Shirt-Off
The Utah State Aggies have a superfan named Wild Bill who distracts free throw shooters by wearing bizarre, Disney-inspired outfits that often reveal his generous girth....
Jamie Moyer Continues To Break Every Oldest Baseball Player's Record
Record-breaking old man Jamie Moyer, who legend has it is older than dirt, legged out a two-run infield single tonight, becoming the geezeriest ballplayer to ever drive in a run. Pitcher Jack Quinn of the Brooklyn Dodgers was 48 years, 11 months, and six days when he hit a three-run double back in ...
<em>What To Expect When You're Expecting</em> Makes Me Want To Get A Vasectomy
My wife and I love kids—we just don't want to have any of our own. That shouldn't be a big deal, but sometimes other people sure act like it is. There have been a few too many instances when my wife and I have been around other folks' babies and the inevitable question comes up: "When are you two go...
Sean Payton Is The Prophet Elijah
New Orleans is getting used to life without Sean Payton, who has begun serving a one-year suspension for his role in the bounty scandal. There was always the possibility that the Saints would handle the situation quietly and without hyperbole or fanfare, not wanting to draw attention to the actions ...
How I Threw My Hair-Perm Superfly Spitball, By Dock Ellis: A New Animated Short
The video above is "Superfly Spitball," an animated short that grew out of the same interview—conducted by Donnell Alexander and Neille Ilel—that gave us Dock Ellis & The LSD No-No. Animated by Heidi Perry and co-produced by Thor Swift, the short will appear in a forthcoming iBook, Beyond Ellis D....
What Dock Ellis Taught Me About Drugs, Spitballs, Hair Curlers, Office Culture, Race, And America
Be sure to watch the accompanying animated short, "Superfly Spitball."...
Laurie Fine To File Libel Suit Against ESPN
That "major announcement" that Laurie Fine promised for us later this morning, at a castle for some reason? It's exactly what you thought. Fine is bringing a libel lawsuit against ESPN, reporter Mark Schwarz, and producer Arty Berko for their reporting of child sexual abuse allegations against forme...
Shaq beat Chuck In TNT's <em>Inside The NBA</em> Shirt-Off Thanks To Fake, Painted-On Abs
The Inside The NBA "Shirt-Off" that brought us this priceless moment of Charles Barkley handling a Shake Weight came to its conclusion last night, with Chuck and Shaq disrobing to show off their unique physiques. While Sir Charles's suspiciously pube-like chest hair was horrifying enough, it wasn't...
Here Is A Video Of Charles Barkley Using A Shake Weight In Extremely Slow Motion
TNT's Inside The NBA hosts Shaquille O'Neal and Charles Barkley are engaged in some sort of workout competition, and tonight Shaq tossed Charles Barkley a Shake Weight to help Chuck's battle of the bulk. While it doesn't appear Sir Charles understands the device too well, it's still a delicious i...
Is Not Good For Me. <em>The Dictator</em>, Reviewed.
1. There's a scene toward the end of The Dictator when you can see, finally, why Sacha Baron Cohen decided to wrap a whole movie around Admiral General Aladeen, the ruthless, clueless dictator of fictional country Wadiya. Without giving away any plot details, Aladeen is speaking to the United Nation...
Clumsy Dodgers Fan Drops Foul Ball, Falls Onto Field, Knocks Over Beer
This poor joker just couldn't do anything right in his pursuit of a ball that was pretty much hit right at him. And to top it off, he was wearing a glove. Watching this, I half-expected to see O.J. Simpson stumble into a bear trap, trip into a wedding cake, and fall off a boat....
Manny Pacquiao Says Gay Marriage Would Be Like "The Days Of Sodom and Gomorrah"
Manny Pacquiao fights Timothy Bradley, Jr. next month, and because it's not Mayweather, no one really cares. But Pacquiao has found another, more novel way of making headlines: speaking out against same-sex marriage at a time when the country is talking about little but. (Even Nets owner Jay-Z has ...
Boston's Game Two Loss Left This Celtics Fan Looking For Something To Lick
The Sixers downed the Celtics 82-81 last night to even their Eastern Conference semifinal series at one-all, a result that got this Bostonian so hot and bothered he was reduced to panting....
Jered Weaver Sings Along To "Hit The Road Jack" After Being Pulled From Game
Jered Weaver is having an excellent season. Only two starts removed from his no-hitter, he had allowed no earned runs in four of his first seven starts this spring. But then came Sunday night and the Texas Rangers and their heavy machinery. Weaver managed to strike out Josh Hamilton twice, but he al...
Fergie's Got A Feeling Tonight's Gonna Be A Bad Night
Here's a helpless Man United manager Sir Alex Ferguson receiving the news of Man City's miracle to rip the Premiership title from his hands yesterday, something we'll cover in much more detail later as befitting the insanity that was the final day of action in England's top division....
Bryce Harper Needed 10 Stitches After Hitting Himself In The Face With His Bat
The Nationals beat the Reds last night 7-3 so it was really only an afterthought that Bryce Harper beat himself 10-0. After grounding out to second in the seventh inning, "Harper whacked a wall down the tunnel from the Nationals dugout with his bat." The bat then Mike Emricked off the wall and hit ...
Sacha Baron Cohen Doesn't Know You're Tired of Him
One of the surest signs you've become a successful comedian is that a lot of people absolutely can't stand your shtick. When you're starting out in standup or as a performer, you're desperate to get noticed, but you also have the time to hone your act and experiment and figure out your unique thing,...
Accomplished Female Jockey Photographed Naked Atop A Horse, Of Course
Chantal Sutherland is one of the most accomplished jockeys in modern-day horse racing. She's won more than 900 races, including dozens of major stakes races. She appeared in several episodes of HBO's horse racing-centric drama Luck, and in March became the first woman to ride in the $10 million Duba...
Kenneth Faried Appeared To Be Broken After Being Flagrantly Fouled By Kobe Bryant
Kobe Bryant earned a flagrant foul call for this hit on the Nuggets' Kenneth Faried, a shot that—for a moment, at least—made some wonder if Faried would be able to return to the game....