the Page 846 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
This Gay Marriage Headline Could Have Used Another Proofreader
From a post on the Seattle Times online about the political stance of Rep. Norm Dicks. We have no words....
Orioles Employ Extra Security In Futile Attempt To End Streaking Epidemic
The second-place Orioles have had just enough of your streaking ways, citizens of Baltimore. You had your fun on April 6, what with your Batman-inspired impostor, a.k.a. 26-year-old truck driver Mark Harvey, who was later permanently banned for life from the stadium....
Bruce Bochy Just Can't Bear To Watch Anymore
These are down days in The City, with Pablo Sandoval out for weeks after hand surgery, Willie Mota busted for drugs, and a defense that's let down every pitcher on the staff....
A Special Graduation Message To The Class Of 2012
I had a long drive home the night that I found out my son was in grave danger of being born too early. Not long in the sense of distance, but long in an existential way, the way that a minute spent waiting in a dentist's office is far longer than a minute spent hooking up with someone for the first ...
Tim Burton Bottoms Out. <em>Dark Shadows</em>, Reviewed.
1. How was there ever a time that we considered Tim Burton weird? He certainly isn't weird now—give this guy a slight haircut and he's essentially an insurance salesman—but in retrospect, knowing the bloated, self-satisfied cookie-cutter hack Burton turned out to be makes one wonder what all the exc...
A Brazilian Player Protested His Yellow Card By Doing The Moonwalk
Here's something totally normal from Brazil's Série A. Sport Recife defender Tobi gets booked during the first leg of the Campeonato Pernambucano final (a regional championship) and, when asked by the referee to turn around so the ref can see his number, performs the moonwalk. While American audie...
Despite Hitting Four Home Runs, Josh Hamilton Could Not Secure A Majority Of The Player Of The Game Vote
In you were in the mood to have your head explode this morning, here you go. (Obviously this is the poll taken on the Baltimore MASN broadcast, which may be a measure of the grasp Orioles fans have on reality, or at least Orioles fans who possess cell phones.)...
How Bobcat Goldthwait Became A True Artist Of Independent Cinema. (Seriously.)
Bobcat Goldthwait, in almost every possible fashion, belongs on the list of those creatures who could only have come of celebrity age in the '80s, along with Emmanuel Lewis, Grace Jones, and Dr. Ruth. When the highlight of your popularity is that you were the star of the second through fourth Police...
Jamie Moyer Has The Oldest Grudges In Major League Baseball, Too
Nobody survives till age 49 in the major leagues without making enemies. Hence Jamie Moyer's dustup with whippersnapper Chipper Jones this weekend. And before that, the middle-aged mushballer talked to Westword for a feature story. In one of the outtakes, he explained that he had come close to signi...
Nick Young's Shirt Is Proof The Mayans Were Right About 2012
The Clippers' Nick Young entered Staples Center last night clad in what appears to be a fortune teller's tablecloth turned into a shirt, except there wasn't enough fabric and they had to patch in some denim....
RIP Adam Yauch, Indie Film Hero
In January, Bingham Ray died. A lot of moviegoers probably wouldn't have recognized his name, but if they loved independent film in the 1990s, they knew his work. The co-founder of October Films, Ray had helped distribute movies by Mike Leigh (Life Is Sweet, Secrets & Lies, Topsy-Turvy), Lars von Tr...
Today's Blackburn-Wigan Match Was Interrupted By A Chicken
Blackburn Rovers are facing relegation from the Premiership, and need a win against WIgan Athletic today to even have a chance at staying in England's top soccer division. Perhaps as a statement against absentee owners, a chicken bearing the Blackburn flag was unleashed onto the pitch early in to...
"Here's Our Resident Nerd, Picking His Nose"
The backlash against advanced statistics in baseball by so-called "purists" can get tiresome, but there's no denying a few of the stereotypes about those dealing in the numbers game sometimes hold true. Here's a shot of Astros Director of Decision Sciences (seriously, that's his job title) Sig Mejd...
And Here's A Woman Stumbling Out Onto The Court During Tonight's Nuggets-Lakers Playoff Game [UPDATE]
We're used to our idiots on the field being male and at baseball games, but stereotypes be damned! We had a woman try to join the action in Denver tonight as the Nuggets and Lakers wound down the first half of their Game Four matchup. ...
![Murder At The Kentucky Derby [UPDATE]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/17lsx3t1ztkxijpg.jpg)
Murder At The Kentucky Derby [UPDATE]
Unfortunately that is not the name of the next Sue Grafton novel. Word out of Lexington is that a man's body was found in a barn behind Churchill Downs after the running of the first leg of the Triple Crown last night. A spokeswoman for the Louisville police, Alicia Smiley, confirmed that the death...
Take This Sabbath Day: The Week In Unintentional Dong Submissions
You were worried, I know. Fear not dongists, we were just a little backed up yesterday and getting back into the swing of things. Without further ado, here is your week(ish) in dong submission. Up first, we have this plant tentacle dong reaching for glorious sunlight, courtesy of reader Max. As alw...
Eli Manning Has A Banana For A Penis
Eli Manning's appearance hosting Saturday Night Live last night was passable, lacking any real groaner moments but nothing especially memorable, either. Well, except for Manningbananapenis....
Reports: Wisconsin Running Back Montee Ball Arrested For Lamest Offense Ever
Twitter is aflutter with reports of one of the silliest transgressions in college football. Montee Ball was apparently arrested and cited for trespassing during Wisconsin's annual Mifflin Street block party. The picture above, appeared on Twitter minutes ago and purports to show Ball being taken aw...
Sean Payton Seems To Be Enjoying His League-Mandated Free Time
Reader Dave hit up the old inbox this morning and passed along a few pictures of currently suspended New Orleans Saints head coach Sean Payton tickling the ivories at the House of Blues in New Orleans last night. Per Dave:...
JaVale McGee's Mom Does Not Approve Of You Fouling Her Son
The Nuggets blasted past the Lakers for a 99-84 Game Three victory last night, and JaVale McGee's 16 points and 15 rebounds had a lot to do with that victory. Alas, JaVale found himself victimized by some rough Lakers play, and his mom (a former pro baller herself) was not fond of what she saw....