the Page 866 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

A Perfectly Zany Rebuttal To The Argument That Mario Balotelli Should Marry His Model Girlfriend
After lovable wingnut Mario Balotelli broke team curfew to visit a strip club in Liverpool last weekend, Manchester City manager Roberto Mancini proposed a cure for his young striker's antics: marriage....

<em>Post</em> Columnist In 2008: Gregg Williams Understands Humility. <em>Post</em> Columnist In 2012: Gregg Williams Showed Remarkable Hubris In 2008.
Mike Wise is a sports columnist for the Washington Post, which means he has to write about bad teams and bad executives and bad coaches and bad players. (He's perhaps best known around these parts for a high-profile Twitter stunt in 2010, in which he made up news about Ben Roethlisberger's impending...

The Eddie Murphy You Love Is Dead
While suffering through this year's Oscars—ha ha, Billy Crystal kissed George Clooney, ha ha—it was hard not to think, "Geez, if Brett Ratner had kept his mouth shut, none of this would have happened and Eddie Murphy could have been the host." Indeed, the news last year that Murphy had agreed to hos...

In A Shocking Development, Jerry Tarkanian Has Switched From Towels To WonderPretzels
Legendary Runnin' Rebels coach Jerry Tarkanian watched his old charges dispatch Wyoming in the Mountain West tournament last night, and in doing so revealed the source of his recently-increased girth. May we recommend he return to a diet of fiber-rich Egyptian cotton?...

Bobby Hebert Thinks Bountygate Is Elaborate 'Conspiracy Theory'
Might this whole Bountygate debacle be some conspiracy theory concocted at the behest of the national media's Illuminati-controlled wing? WWL's John "Spud" McConnell and former Saints quarterback Bobby Hebert sure seem to think so. The damn national media is just so damn jealous of the Saints that...

If Mike Tyson Were President, He'd Put Pacquaio And Mayweather In Jail Until They Fight
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Keep in mind that as a convicted felon, Tyson cannot vote....

<i>Silent House</i> And The Rise Of The Gimmicky Horror Movie
On Friday, the horror movie Silent House comes out. One of its selling points is that it stars Elizabeth Olsen—who was terrific last year in a very different sort of horror film, Martha Marcy May Marlene—but probably the hook that will be most intriguing to genre fans is that the whole movie takes p...

Gregg Popovich Gets Belligerent When Talking About His Invisible Bowling Balls
The San Antonio Spurs brought a heavy dose of Thorazine to Linsanity last night, dealing the Knicks their sixth loss in the last nine games. Coach Gregg Popovich, though, didn't see the therapy regimen through to the end—he got tossed in the third quarter. Fortunately, he was able to squeeze in thi...

LIU-Brooklyn Is Going Dancing
Congratulations to the LIU-Brooklyn Blackbirds , who in beating Robert Morris 90-73 won the NEC tournament and punched their ticket to the dance. [ESPN2]...

Excerpts From The Long-Lost Script For <em>Monday Night Football: The Cartoon</em>
So total at the time was Cosell's saturation of culture that Irwin Weiner, an ABC Sports vice president for twenty years, once came up with a concept for a Saturday morning kids' series called "Monday Night Football: The Cartoon", one that would turn Cosell, Gifford and Meredith into animated charac...

They Don't Make Alien-Punching Movies Like They Used To. <em>John Carter</em>, Reviewed.
1. I know that the main reason John Carter exists right now is because the technology is available to produce it, that you can have armies of CGI characters that don't look ridiculous, that you can invent sprawling vistas of Mars desert, that you can have spaceships crash into spaceships crash into ...

Ronald McDonald Loved Seeing Bryce Drew, But The Ole Miss Fan Sitting Next To Him Just Grimaced The Whole Game
I don't have the context for this, and I don't want it. Clowns get damn good seats for being as scary as they are, and if you don't know why Ole Miss still hates Bryce Drew, take a trip down memory lane back to 1998....

Cubs Win! Cubs Win (A Video Game-Induced, Alternate Universe World Series)!
Sony's new ad campaign for MLB 12 The Show hinges on the tagline, "So real, it's unreal." Apparently, that includes the Chicago Cubs winning the World Series, thanks to some Michael Bay-worthy special effects....

Storming The Court In Canada Is Confusing
In the end, the officials determined the basket by Milan Mitrovic counted, and St. George's held on for a one-point win over Kitsilano in Vancouver's Lower Mainland AAA final. But everybody got to celebrate....

Sean Payton And Mickey Loomis Apologize To Saints Owner, No One Else
Here's the official statement, hot off the presses:...

Gregg Easterbrook Has Dubbed The Bounty Scandal "Sinnersgate," Because He's A Haughty Dipshit
Now that Terra Nova has been canceled, noted Brookings Institutionarian and surveyor of the cosmos Gregg Easterbrook was finally free today to chime in on the NFL bounty scandal. And oh, dear readers. Oh, the man never fails to disappoint. Right off the bat, this is what you get ......

Is It OK For A Movie Trailer To Lie? Or, Why <em>Friends With Kids</em> Is Definitely Not <em>Bridesmaids 2</em>
Last October, a Detroit woman named Sarah Deming filed suit against FilmDistrict for its misleading advertisements for the film Drive. Her claim was that the film's trailers had led her to believe the film was about driving rather than, you know, Ryan Gosling stomping in the orbital bones of various...

The Scandal Is What The Media's NCAA Scandal Cops Think Is A Scandal
We've been around the block with Yahoo's scandal hunters a time or two, but this latest scoop is really reductioing their worst absurdum into the ground:...

The Real Outrage Of The Saints Bounty Scandal
This is an offseason edition of the NFL roundtable, a partnership between Deadspin and Slate. For more roundtable goodness, go back and read every entry from the 2011 season, from the preseason to the Super Bowl....

Who Want To Confuse Mutombo?
Dikembe Mutombo's nephew Harouna nearly led his Western Carolina team to the NCAA tournament last night, only to lose in double overtime. It was an improbable run, and it gave us this Mutombian reaction that can only be described as pure gold....