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The Spoiler’s 10 Premier League Predictions
Get really excited everyone—the Premier League is back! This is wonderful news, and hopefully a couple of decent weekends will blow away the awful cobwebs left behind by a very disappointing World Cup....

Manchester United Sign A Talented, Young Homeless Guy (UPDATE)
In a real life football reimagining of Charles Dickens's greatest novel-turned-musical, Oliver Twist, Sir Alex Ferguson has gotten all Mr Brownlow about it, and signed a former Homeless World Cup star for Man United....

Deaf Guy Getting Choked By Mall Security? Deaf Guy Getting Choked By Mall Security (UPDATE: Video Fixed)
This video shows some overzealous security person at a Los Angeles mall showing off his MMA classes on a possible shoplifter. Problem is, the purple-faced shoplifter is deaf, didn't hear the alarm, and...also may have paid for his items. [SmartCrew]...

Incongruous Athlete Mix-Tape Theater: Austin Croshere
Welcome back to Incongruous Athlete Mix-Tape Theater. Today's laughably out-of-place subject? Bill Walton absolutely loved saying his name: Austin Croshere. The song: "Bad Lands," by rappers Zion I & The Grouch....

Furry Tries To Legally Change His Name To "Boomer The Dog"
Gary Guy Mathews. A perfectly good name. But Mr. Mathews wants to officially be known as Boomer the Dog, to go along with his homemade fursuit....

Robinho Misses Out On Barca Move By Being Troublesome
Like an early 1990s Mickey Rourke, Robinho is increasingly looking like a man with buckets of talent who no one particularly wants to work with....

Crotch-Kicking Senate Nominee Linda McMahon Assailed From Right And Left As Crotch-Kicker
First came Connecticut GOP rival Peter Schiff's incredible campaign ad. Now comes this DNC statement about the former WWE CEO: "Today the party of Bob Dole, Jack Kemp and Dick Lugar nominated a candidate who kicks men in the crotch..."...

Great Moments In Brick Wall Anthemry: “In The Fade”
All during Music Week at Deadspin, I'll be writing about great asskicking songs of yore. Today, it's "In The Fade" by Queens Of The Stone Age....

Hot Piece Of Ass Who Quit Job Was Probably A Stunt
Today, all The Internet wanted to talk about was Jet Blue Guy's zany escape from employment—or the press's red-faced descriptions of how the police found him—and all of a sudden Dry Erase Board Girl came out of nowhere. She's fake....

Bat-Wielding Vigilante Takes On Boston Troublemakers (Video Back Up)
A group of punks are terrorizing passing motorists, until they mess with the wrong guy. He steps out of his car...metal bat in hand. This shit is bananas. (NSFW language)...

Joe Cole Is Better Than Lionel Messi, Insists Steven Gerrard
You'd think that footballers would learn from their mistakes. But as sure as the sun sets, eggs is eggs, and as sure as Ashley Cole will inevitably end up with his oozing hands dancing all over the wrong woman's naked body......

Great Moments In Brick Wall Anthemry: “Whole Lotta Rosie”
All during Music Week at Deadspin, I'll be writing about great asskicking songs of yore. Today, it's "Whole Lotta Rosie" by AC/DC....

How Jim McMahon Terrorized New Orleans During Super Bowl XX
Today's selection comes from Michael Weinreb's book, Bigger Than The Game: Bo, Boz, the Punky QB, and How the '80s Created the Modern Athlete. This excerpt offers a glimpse into the aforementioned punkyness of the Bears' eccentric QB....

Great Moments In Brick Wall Anthemry: “Orion”
All during Music Week at Deadspin, I'll be writing about great asskicking songs of yore. Today, it's "Orion" by Metallica....

Javier Hernandez’s Face Scores Important Goal Against Chelsea
On your first day at work, it's all about keeping your head down, not attracting too much attention to yourself, and definitely not doing anything clumsy/humiliating....

A-Centaur Suffers A-Boo-Boo
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Bowlegged Floyd Little Gets to Canton
Jerry Rice and Emmitt Smith (and others) get their yellow jackets tonight. Travesty. What'd either of them ever accomplish?...

Ref: The Steelers Probably Wouldn't Have Won Super Bowl XL Without Me
Remember when the Seattle Seahawks totally got jobbed out of a Super Bowl trophy? Referee Bill Leavy does. Here's what he said during a lil chat with the Seattle media yesterday:...

ESPN Radio Intern Inadvertently Scratches Junk On Camera
It's been a while since we heard about a sports radio intern doing something untoward but look at what we have here. Intern Alex of Primetime with Isaac and Big Suke, we offer you our praise and condolences. [Bob's Blitz]...

Lady Footballer In Humiliating Handball Mix Up!
As embarrassing mistakes go, this one is up there with accidentally calling your teacher "Mummy", or unknowingly leaving your flies open during a bumpy bus journey....