the Page 951 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

A Weary Nation Turns to Cornholing for Leisurely Recreation
Occasionally a sport comes along that truly defines its era. Fittingly, as Barack Obama prepares to invade the South with an army of homosexuals who will sodomize every Republican's children and pets, cornholing is suddenly all the rage....

What to Watch Today
Just because we're never afraid to be too servicey, here's a rundown of some notable televised sporting events today, starting with college football....

Richard Seymour Boldly Accepts His Deportation to the North Korea of the NFL
Richard Seymour has agreed to play for the Raiders this season and is expected to suit up for the team Monday night against the Chargers. We think Seymour's wife Tanya will fit right in with the Oakland Coliseum fans. [ESPN]...

Well Hello There Stinky Britches!
Okay, so I'm this internet creature known as Cajun Boy and I'm guest-editing this here site today. Perhaps you've seen me around on Gawker, Animal, my dumb blog, my dumb Twitter, etc. Also, I got my first tattoo last night!...

Bob Arum: MMA Is Nothing But Skinheads, Homosexuals
If boxing wants to win the war against MMA, you know what it needs more of? Grumpy old white guys willing to provide insulting, homophobic, possibly racist rants about its rival audience. Take it away, Bob Arum!...

The Learning Curve: Foul Pole To Foul Pole
This segment is called "The Learning Curve" where you, young blog proprietor, will get a link to your new site on Deadspin. Any and all questions you may have about being a successful blogger will (hopefully) be answered....

Never Forget
So since it's THAT day, I've decided to re-run this item I wrote for the Emeritus roast extravaganza. This is our anniversary, too. Kind of. Enjoy it again, if you'd like....

My Hot NFL Picks This Weekend
Sunday, Sunday, Sunday! It is NFL Day. Here are my Hot Six Spread Picks for the weekend, given gratis and at no charge. DISCLAIMER: What you do with this information is At Your Own Risk. (LOL)...

When Did Sportsy Wives and Girlfriends Get So Trashy? (Oh, the Mid 90s, Right)
The "English football" (f'ing soccer) team has banned the amazingly skanky wives-and-girlfriends club from hogging all the 2010 World Cup attention. America doesn't have the Posh Spice nightmare syndrome as bad—yet. But we're working on it....

Does Brooklyn Decker Really Need To Be A T&A Machine?
I am not much of a prude, and neither I guess is Andy Roddick, as he enjoys his wife exhibited to the max in glossy mags....

Chauvinist Tennis Player Not Too Young To Admire Bobby Riggs
Fourth-round U.S. Open loser John Isner says the No. 1 female tennis player in the world couldn't beat the 700 or 800th best man. You've come a long way, baby....

Introducing The Learning Curve
Many readers have inquired about the lack of coverage we provide to lesser known blogs these days. Rightfully so. I'd like to showcase those newer, under-trafficked blogs on a daily basis. But...there's a catch....

Ron Artest and John Green, Reunited At Last
Sports history was made today when professional crazy man Ron Artest and amateur famewhore John Green called into Detroit's "Drew and Mike" show at the same time, so they could talk about their friendship and simultaneously plug non-existent charity events....

Ron Artest And Palace Beer Thrower Become BFFs
Ron Artest says he tracked down John Green—the Detroit thug who threw a beer at him, sparking the worstfunnest night in NBA history—not so he could throttle him silly, but so they could team up for exciting adventures!...

Wait ... Is That Boxer Drinking His Own Urine?
Yep. He sure is. That's Juan Manuel Marquez, who apparently ends his workouts by pissing into a cup and the chug-a-lugging the whole thing. I think HBO may be taking this "24/7" thing too far....

Sweet Vindication for Stephen A. Smith
An arbitrator has ruled that his demotion/dismissal from the Philadelphia Inquirer way back in January 2008 was "unjust", and has ordered the negotiation of an "appropriate remedy". I'm sure we could come up with a few suggestions....

This Week in Love
Alright, time to commence my weekly scan of the interwebs to see who got engaged recently. Let's see, there's Ricky Williams and Kristen Barnes. There's also Jim from The Office and Emily Blunt (slow down, you two!). And......

Rampage Jackson Ditches Upcoming Bout to Star in A-Team Movie
I wonder which character he'll play?...

The One Where Sweaty Will Leitch Startles A Man
We get a massive amount of tips in our inbox each week. Some are pretty interesting, but don't get published for one reason or another....

Fire It Up And Get The Skanks, Hoosiers
Football season is upon us, which means that thousands of angry, horny, feisty pretend fans will converge upon this great nation's red cup-littered parking lots to participate in traditional tailgating revelry. These are not those stories....