the Page 957 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

New Zealand Athlete Needs Escort To The Olympics
Logan Campbell, a taekwando fighter from New Zealand, needs money to fund his bid for the 2012 Olympics, because $NZ300,000 is a lot of money, currency calculator reveals. Campbell's plan? Open a brothel. But of course!...

A Farewell To America's Softball Failures
For the last couple weeks, the injury-rate of rec softball competitors has drastically decreased, which is great news for the collective co-pay rate of America's health-insured, but bad for the column. But it deserves a proper send-off in gallery form....

Even Satan's Minions Love Albert Pujols
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning cra...

The Erin Andrews Chin Incident: A Reconstruction
What really happened on that fateful night when America's Sideline Princess was viciously attacked by flying baseballs? Just how bad were her injuries? Where was the ball boy/girl for protection? Why is there no video evidence? What are they hiding?!...

Wait, Maybe Running With Bulls Isn't Such A Great Idea?
A 27-year-old Spaniard (not pictured) was gored to death, when a 1,130-pound bull (that's him there) broke loose from the Pamplona pack and went understandably crazy. It's the first goring death at the famous bull run in 14 years....

Chad Ochocinco Tweets By His Own Rules
Ochocinco: "I'm using Twitter during games." NFL: No, you're not. Ochocinco: "Damn NFL and these rules, I am going by my own set of rules, I ain't hurting nobody or getting in trouble, I am putting my foot down!!" [PFT]...

The LPGA Continues To Ratchet Up The Crazy
The next time I'm hacking away on my local muni, I'm going to pretend like I'm snowboarding, because that's what Italian golfer Giulia Sergas does. Imaginary frostbite nipping at my windwhipped nose, I'll fit right in with the LPGA....

Now It's Time To Let Your Star Shine
So the new commenting system is live. Please hop to the bottom section and test it out. I'm sure there will be kinks, complaints, confusion and minor chaos. Feel free to contact bugs with the real boners....

Live-Streaming The Love Life And After-Life Of Steve McNair
McNair's best friend Robert Gaddy says, despite all glaring indications, Mechelle and Steve weren't getting for a divorce. Nope, the happy couple was buying a new home together. Now stop asking him about the 20-year-old girlfriend....

How Leagues Learned To Stop Loving And Worry About Steroids
The peril of steroids, like the Internet, wasn't apparent 40 years ago when Sports Illustrated published a prescient story about PEDs. In retrospect now, with steroids as dangerous as the Internet is real, professional sports appear more oblivious than ever....

The Laws Of Patriotism Will Require You To Root For Coach K In 2012
So, we learned yesterday, Mike Krzyzewski is expected to supplement his day job with a Team USA summer gig for the next three years. "All leads point to Coach K coming back," Jerry Colangelo said. And isn't that joyous!...

Leitch And Drew On Vomiting, Dipping, Commenting, Simmons, And Other Essentials
Your Deadcast guest this week is Leitch. It's a nice departure from all those weeks of talking to, you know, interesting people. HEY-O!!!!...

Lisa Leslie: Expect Bricks
The Superstars was only an hour this week! (Stupid Michael Jackson tributes.) But could they pack 90 minutes of excitement into just one tiny action-packed primetime block? Who likes missed lay-ups?...

From The Desk Of Gary Belsky: Hygiene Edition
Gary Belsky is the EIC of ESPN The Magazine, which you probably know as the strange, unwieldy object wedged into your mailbox every other week. Sometimes, funny things happen at Gary's magazine, and employees tell us about them....

The Death Of Steve McNair And The War Against Cliché
The eulogies to Steve McNair are pouring in from all points on the compass, and one word seems to be showing up again and again. You know which one: "warrior."...

Tomorrow Is The First Day To Watch Young People In Red Scarves Get Gored
Yes, right about now, 95% of the inhabitants of tiny Pamplona, Spain are getting good and sloshed to prepare for the annual San Fermin "religious" festival where large creatures are loosed upon Hemingway-inspired college kids through a wooden maze. Par-tay....

Off The Wall, Indeed: Ron Artest Pays Tribute To Michael Jackson
"Michael, Michael, Michael, you my nigga. I know a thug would cry for you, my dude. Aint no R&B singer really ever makes me cry. Makes me wanna meet you, touch your hand. Ya know?" [YouTube]...

In Season Debut, Candace Parker Produces Six Points, Several Fluid Ounces Of Breast Milk
Parker returned yesterday against the Mercury, and once again sportswriters found themselves talking about her boobs: "Just before the game, Parker had to pump breastmilk in the locker room for her daughter's post-game feeding." [LA Daily News]...

He'll Never Be The Best, But He's Something
Andy Roddick's one of those athletes whose fame outsizes his accomplishments. He's one of the more successful American tennis players, but in the Roger Era, his on-court record will never put him alongside the greats....

And Now Let's Dive Into This Bizarre Steve McNair Situation
First it was a double homicide. Then it was murder-suicide. Now it's just tragic and sad. And TMZ has pictures of the doomed couple parasailing....