the Page 966 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

<em>Fantasy Football: The Musical</em> Needs Your Help
Although this story does not contain tiny Mexican wrestlers nor furries, it's still undeniably batshit. A NYC theater group is in search of stage actors to portray Bill Simmons, Matthew Berry, and J-Bug for an upcoming fantasy football musical. Kapow!...

U.S. Olympians Will Replace Berets With Snowflake Sweaters
Polo Ralph Lauren re-upped their rights to design the United States' Olympic garb in 2010 and 2012, and the planned attire for Vancouver includes "zip-up snowflake sweaters, knit caps and parkas." No wonder all the other countries are intimidated. [WSJ]...

Terrell Owens and Joanna Krupa Rise From The Dead
ABC made a mistake when they somehow let the onlymost marketable face on their game show get booted off in the first week. Well, thanks to the magic of television that's all a distant memory!...

Coach K Defies The Reckless Rumormongering
Despite the claims of a Racine Journal Times reporter's well-placed source, Mike Krzyzewski said he won't be Phil Jackson's "heir apparent." But if Kobe wants to come be Duke's third scholarship guard — well, that might be acceptable. [ACC Now]...

Why The "New" Alleged Steroids List Is A Crock
Yesterday, RotoInfo posted this widely forwarded "rumored 2003 Steroid list," which purported to enumerate the 104 players who flunked baseball's anonymous round of drug testing that year. Don't believe a word of it....

John Feinstein Has Bypass Surgery
Feinstein, author of 4,285 books and a new, now poignantly named blog, writes: "The angiogram showed 'four to six,' blockages in my heart-one of them 100 percent." He went under the knife yesterday. [Feinstein on the Brink]...

Stephen Curry Had Don Nelson's Attention When These Haircuts Were En Vogue
Good news: Stephen Curry's journey from high school nobody to NBA lottery pick is no longer just a feel-good rise to superstardom. With this latest point to plot, Curry's case is now a parabola of fame and fortune!...

Yao Ming's Giant Foot Has Failed Him
Shit's broke. Like broke-broke. And fuck the Knicks. I'm sorry, this isn't the Brandon Jennings article is it? I must have gotten lost. [Yahoo!]...

The Lightning's Draft Pick Really Does Read The Articles
Q: What's the last book you read? Viktor Hedman: "I don't want to say. The last one was Jenna Jameson, How to Make Love Like a Porn Star." Delightfully tacky, yet literately unrefined. [JoeBoltsFan]...

Hirshey: The Gulf Is Closing, But Not THAT Quickly
David Hirshey is the former soccer expert around these parts and one of the world-famous Soccer Jews. He talked to me, Emeritus, about yesterday's U.S. soccer loss to Brazil....

The Way We Live Now
Calgary trades a defenseman who'll be an unrestricted free agent on Wednesday for...another defensemen who'll be an unrestricted free agent on Wednesday. [AP]...

When Tennis Players Ride The Crimson Tide
Lost in yesterday's huge win for American teenage Melanie Oudin was the loser, former world number one Jelena Jankovic. Turns out she was suffering from a malady you don't normally see on injury reports....

Egyptian Press Reports What Really Happened In That South Africa Hotel Room
In Egypt, which lacks a free press, the government can try to make a scandal dissipate just by using politically correct language. Case in point: apparently, the translation for "possibly-money-stealing-and-home-wrecking prostitutes" is "girls."...

Jesus Christ Football Star
How you feel about this account of football-playing home-schoolers will depend largely on your stomach for misspelled signage and sentences like, "Tebow ... demonstrated that a home-schooler could absorb a playbook as well as the Book of Deuteronomy." [NYT]...

Man Falls From Hockeytown's Roof...Reader Has Enthusiastic Report
This is unfortunate. A Tiger fan hanging out at Detroit's famous Hockeytown bar fell off the roof deck and landed on the sidewalk. We hope he's okay. But one intrepid reader was there to offer this [Sic'd/Sick?] report....

Mazel Tov, Omri Casspi
Casspi was selected with the 23rd pick in the Draft last night, which, in David Stern's mind, completely validates the NBA's entire push for globalization. Shalom, chaver. If Casspi — a 6-foot-9 small forward who had some success in the Euroleague — makes the NBA, he will be the first Israeli and se...

Geovany Soto Likes That Weed
Pictured, Left to Right: Chicago Cubs catcher Geovany Soto and the sweet, sticky herb that he loves to burn and inhale into his lungs, an activity he somehow got caught doing around the time of the World Baseball Classic....

Twit Wars: The Sports Fella Vs. Mike Dunleavy, Sr.
Simmons is leaving blood on the keyboard because Clippers' coach Mike Dunleavy called him a "joke writer" on Cowherd's radio show. A possible tag-team bout with OchoCinco/Dunleavy vs. Merriman/Sports Fella is forthcoming. Let's make it a strap match. [SportsGuy33]...

LeBron, Meet Your New Teammate: Shaquille O'Neal
The Cavaliers and Suns have reached a deal in principle to send Shaquille O'Neal to the Land of LeBron, Yahoo! Sports reports. Ben Wallace, Sasha Pavlovic and a pick to Phoenix. No confirmation from @THE_REAL_SHAQ yet. [Yahoo!, Twitter]...