the Page 966 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Crack The F—king Skye. Your 2009 NFL Draft Jamboroo
The NFL Draft is this weekend, so time for a special offseason edition of Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo. Enjoy....
Detroit's Likely No. 1 Pick May Suffer From Dementia
The Lions are working hard to ink a deal before Saturday's draft with Georgia QB Matthew Stafford—who "indicated he would love to play in Detroit." That's your first warning sign right there. [ESPN]...
You Are The Falcon, And I Shall Remain...
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...
Tom Izzo To Make Musical Theater Fans <i>Les Miserables</i>
Look...I love Tom Izzo and I hate cancer, but if a Broadway-style musical extravaganza starring an undersized Yooper doesn't have Bad Idea Jeans written all over it, I'll eat my tap shoes....
New Baseball Franchise Attempts To Hitch Its Wagon To Stephen Colbert's Star (Update)
The new Frontier League baseball team in Normal, Ill., needs a nickname, and it's up to you to rock the vote. Of course they're secretly hoping you'll opt for option "C."...
For Great Quality At A Low, Low Price, Come On Down During Aaron Curry Discount Days
Aaron Curry is shopping himself to the Lions via text message — which technically is SPAM — telling general manager Martin Mayhew he can be had for a song if he chooses him No. 1....
The Glorious Return Of The "Superstars"
Because television officially ran out of ideas six years ago, ABC is bringing back "Superstars," the insane multi-sport athletic competition designed to humiliate your childhood heroes. And guess who is the starring superstar!...
"Moneyball" Casting Department Seeking Undervalued Actors
The cast of Steven Soderbergh's ridiculous Moneyball adaptation is starting to come together and it looks to be about as awesome as a dramatic feature about sabermetrics could possibly be....
Druggie NFL Prospects Not Actually On Drugs
Remember all the fuss recently about certain draft prospects who tested positive for drugs at the scouting combine and how it made everyone sad for today's youth? Yeah, none of those guys actually tested positive....
"Moneyball" Author Has A Small Penis, Cruel Family
"Daddy has a small penis!" That's according to his toddler daughter, who likes to let everyone at her day care center know that fact about her father. [NYP]...
Woman Loses Miss USA Competition By Being Unfairly Forced To Think
I was THIS close to winning my Miss USA office pool this year, but my choice to win it all, Miss California, choked like the Washington Nationals in the bottom of the ninth....
Name Of The Year: The Final Chapter
And so the sprawling Name of the Year competition is poised for its dramatic conclusion. Ladies and gentlemen, witness the championship showdown between Barkevious Mingo and Iris Macadangdang. [Name Of The Year]...
Montreal Canadiens To Feel The Power Of Celine Dion's Love
The Montreal Canadiens are for sale! And do you know who would be the perfect caretaker for this historically-gifted and beloved franchise? Canada's No. 1 shrew-like pop schmaltz siren!...
The Most Interesting Spring Football Game Commentary You'll Ever Hear
Radio station Rock 104 live-streamed the Southern Miss Golden Eagles game for its hometown fans on Saturday, but those tuning in received something else entirely: Hillbilly sex talk, belching, and the N-word....
Sidney Crosby Gets The Philadelphia Salute; Deadspin Almost Falls Apart
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...
Trailblazers, I Am Told, Are Often Misunderstood
Um so…did I mention I am also recovering from a sinus infection? How about a YouTube clip of children using obscene language?...
Breaking: Some Sports Franchises More Equal Than Others
"Don't get me wrong I love America," a reader writes. Whatever Wen Ho, think I don't get my fill of pinkos whining about Fox over at Torture Points Memo?...
You Should Wikipedia Kevin Garnett Sometime, He's A Fascinating Fellow
I actually did know who Kevin Garnett was before today. In fact, we talked one time. It was a conference call though, lacking in intimacy. Those were the days before you could Wikipedia helpful icebreakers....
Chances Are, You'll See This At The NFL Combine In 2010
Matthew Stafford's football-skeeting is pretty amazing. That's not supposed to sound pornographic. [Jimmy Fallon]...