the Page 987 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
To Watch Tonight
What to watch after a day at the Boobs on Bikes Parade ... • Little League Baseball: Pool play, in South Williamsport, Pa., Curacao vs. Guam (6 p.m., ET); Lake Charles, La., vs. Hagerstown, Md. (8 p.m., ET) [ESPN2] • Olympics: Boxing (5 p.m. to 8 p.m., ET) [CNBC]; gymnastics, synchronized swimming, ...
B.J. Upton Has No Time To Run Out Doubles
One has to wonder why the Rays didn't pull the trigger and sign Barry Bonds long ago; he would have fit in quite well. They could give him the locker right next to B.J. Upton, and together they could form the Home Run or Nothing Club. Hmm. Are storm clouds gathering above the Rays' quest of an AL Ea...
Stop Us If You've Heard This One Before
David Hirshey Michael Bertin writes regularly for Deadspin about soccer. If the season were to end today Stupid Fucking Bolton would be going to the Champions League. A corner of the universe just started to fold in on itself simply because that sentence was typed. If... If my aunt had a penis she'd...
A Dream Start For Chelsea, A Draw For Manchester
Big Phil Scolari's first Premier League match at the helm of Chelsea was pretty much perfect. The Blues began their campaign to reclaim the the league title with a 4-0 thrashing of Portsmouth at Stamford Bridge. Harry Redknapp's side was under constant pressure from Chelsea's reworked midfield, and...
Phelps Achieves Perfection With a Little Help From His Friends
Michael Phelps has just made history by eclipsing Mark Spitz's record of seven gold medals in a single Olympics with a win in the 4x100 medley relay in Beijing. Phelps maintained a small lead swimming the butterfly in the race's third leg and once again it was Jason Lezak holding off the opposition ...
PED Testing In London Will Scare The Crap Out Of Everyone...Or So They Hope
Looking for some cutting-edge ways to improve athletic performance without failing a drug test? Aren't we all! With failed PED tests expected to be at a record high for these Beijing Games, testers aren't exactly resting on their laurels. They're trying to find ways to test for the next generation o...
Those Chinese Certainly Know How To Conduct A Job Search
It's been both enjoyable and sad to see some of the stories coming out of Beijing. It's been seemingly one unpleasant discovery after another, between the poor girl who was deemed unpretty enough to sing the Chinese national anthem and the faux ethnic kids around the flag during opening ceremonies. ...
Salud, Chris Russo
FoxSports.com's Peter Schrager, friend of Deadspin, possible spray-tanning victim, and an unapologetic friend of Jay Mohr, is one of many New Yorkers mourning the end of the Chris Russo era at sports radio station WFAN this morning. His words (er, eulogy) on the news of the "Mike and the Mad Dog" br...
Beijing Opening Ceremony Performers And American Astronauts Have Much In Common
Say, remember those Opening Ceremonies from Beijing the other night? Pretty awesome, right? There was a globe! And glowsticks! And a scrim! And all kinds of crazy shit! As we now know, many of the elements from the ceremony were faked (or as fake as something involving a staged presentation can be)...
Michael Bertin Is Your New Closer
Unfortunately, we could not wrestle away previous soccer mom David Hirshey from his other "job" even though we offered him a drum full of mustache balm and unreleased nude photos of Pele to continue with us. The man simply wouldn't budge. No fear, though, because your weekly footie fix will be fille...
Chris "Mad Dog" Russo Is Finally Free To Become The Big, Big Star He Always Wanted To Be
Fans of the " Mike and The Mad Dog Show" probably saw this coming months ago, but after all that speculation, it finally happened late yesterday: After 20 years partnered with Mike Francesa, Chris "Mad Dog" Russo's nasal, New Yawkishness has left the building. Francesa will remain in his current rol...
The Balls Deep Hater’s Guide To The Top 25
Drew Magary’s Balls Deep column runs every Thursday afternoon. Drew’s new book, “Men With Balls,” released October 27th and featuring 100% new material, is available for pre-order here. You can email Drew here. Read him during the week at KSK....
No, Dog Is Not Cool
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Bela Karolyi Wants to Train Your Babies
Famed U.S. Olympic gymnastics coach Bela Karolyi is not a fan of little girls. At least not ones who can beat his team in the Olymics. Karolyi is raising a fuss about the ages of the Chinese gymnast, claiming that they do not appear to be the competition legal age of 16. Clearly the world's most fam...
USA/China Olympic Basketball Update
Over 1 billion people are expected to be tuning in to the USA/China matchup in progress in Beijing. In attendance are both Bush generations, the Chinese Prime Minister, and Henry Kissinger who appears to be sleeping in the stands. China has a big three that towers over the US team (Yao Ming stands a...
Our President Loves the Olympics, So Should You
It's tomorrow in Beijing and the events are about to start up again. There are a few medals up for grabs, as well as some qualifyers. Americans Michael Phelps and Katie Hoff, as well as naughty Aussie Stephanie Rice are all making finals debuts tonight and the men's gymnasts will take a shot at the ...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch while safe and secure in the No Ho Zone ... • Boxing: Junior welterweights, Chris Fernandez vs. Ali Oubaali, at New York (9 p.m., ET). Oubaali: Born in France, lives in Brooklyn. Is there a bigger contradiction? [ESPN2] • MLB: New York Yankees at Texas (8 p.m., ET). 92 degrees; 42 per...
Steve Smith Apologizes (But Would Really Like To Punch You)
For once again releasing his inner Sonny Corleone, Steve Smith would like to apologize. As you know, Smith popped cornerback Ken Lucas in the eye during practice on Friday, with the resultant damage being: a broken nose that will require surgery for Lucas, and a suspension without pay for the first ...
Ken Lucas Owns A Hyperbaric Chamber, And A Black Eye
Panthers' wide receiver Steve Smith got into it with cornerback Ken Lucas earlier today in training camp, the fracas resulting in Lucas being sped off the practice field in a cart with an ice pack over his left eye. But that's not what caught my attention about Lucas. While looking up background on ...
Hester Gets Paid, Favre Is a Douchebag, and the Pats Sign Jordan
The Chicago Bears have finally settled things with Devin Hester. They've agreed to reward their return man and potential wide receiver with a four year deal that worth $30 million including a guaranteed $15 million. However ESPN is reporting that the terms of the contract get a bit more complex from...