the Page 996 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Ryan Howard and Jimmy Rollins Remix "Take Me Out To the Ballgame"
Ryan Howard and J-Roll- "Take me out to the ballgame" (Remix) [The Fightins']...

It Only Takes Three Walls To Confine Your Soul
The office cubicle turns 40 this month, and since so many of our readers work in them, I couldn't let the anniversary pass unheeded. According to Wikipedia, "A cubicle's purpose is to isolate office workers from the sights and noises of an open workspace, the theory being that this allows workers mo...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch on the subway ... • MLB: Brewers at Cardinals. (7 p.m., ET). Ray Durham acquisition tips the balance of power. [ESPN] • MLB: Rangers at White Sox. (8:11 p.m., ET). I'll meet you in front of the Harold Baines statue. [KDFI] [WCIU] • Cycling: Tour de France (8 p.m., ET). This is a rest d...

But There's Already An Oklahoma Thunder
It's not much of a surprise to Oklahomans that some derivative of Thunder was going to be the newly relocated Seattle SuperSonics team name, be it Thunderbirds, Thundercats, Thunderpants, or the Fighting Dan Majerles. But it looks like they're just going to go with Thunder. The Oklahoma City Thunder...

Would You Pay $57,000 To Have These Men In Your Living Room? Rush Limbaugh's Ex-Wife Did
Everyone remembers how awful the Rush Limbaugh experiment on ESPN was. How long did it take for him to say something inappropriate? Two weeks? But Limbaugh resigned, ESPN looked a little foolish, and everyone moved on....

To Watch Tonight
What to watch after installing this in your backyard ......

ESPN's Featured Comment Of The Day
ESPN scoured its message boards this morning to find its cleverest, boldest, most enlightening comment, and chose this one above all others ......

Your NFL Season Brownie Point Calculator
Drew Magary's Balls Deep column runs every Thursday afternoon. Drew's new book, "Men With Balls," featuring 100% new material, is available for pre-order here. You can email Drew here. Read him during the week at KSK....

OK, Nobody Leaves The Room; The ESPYS Gift Bag Seems To Be Missing An Item
On Tuesday our friends at Awful Announcing took a look inside the gift bags that are handed out to presenters and nominees of the ESPYS. They're not as elaborate as the swag handed out at the Oscars, but look! A Subway Sandwiches gift card! Anyway, AA provided a full list of items, including, at No....

Oh, Sklars
The Sklar brothers, Jason and Randy, have finished a a new web-only series for the Topps baseball card company called "Back On Topps", oddly enough about two brothers who inherit a baseball card company. High jinx will surely ensue....

Don't Worry Golfers; Kevin Has Your Back
So if Kevin Malone were organizing a dream golf foursome, what three Office characters would he choose? That's a tough one (answer following the jump). One thing you should know, though: Brian Baumgartner has very little in common with Kevin Malone. Except that both are funny....

Brett Favre Is A County-Wide Crisis, Telemarketing Goldmine
An email came into the Deadspin tip box yesterday with the subject "Packers robocalling residents about Favre", which said that Green Bay-area residents were getting polled via phone survey about what the Packers should do about The Number 4 Situation. It seemed a little farcical, but considering th...


Madonna Begged For This To Happen
Jose Canseco is probably going to need some help with the fighting scenes in his grand Yuen Woo-ping-choreographed kung fu movie, because, well, dude can't fight. Last night he was dealt a first-round knockout at the fisted hands of former Philadelphia Eagles return man Vai Sikahema in Atlantic Cit...

Mr. Testis: Father of Suzy Kolber's Child? We Report, You Decide
I think I'm missing some subtle wordplay here. Why would they call him Mr. Testi...oh you clever Spanish devils you. Mr. Testis is the mascot for the San Fermin Festival....

To Watch Tonight
What to watch with your friend, Arthur "Two Sheds" Jackson ... • Boxing: Light heavyweights, Chris Henry vs. Rubin Williams, at Houston (9 p.m., ET). Shouldn't the jock be worn inside the trunks? [ESPN2] • Cycling: Tour de France, Stage 5, Cholet to Chateauroux, France (8 p.m., ET). Why must the sea...

Yankees Radio Announcers Have Grotesque Eating Habits
Apparently, New York Yankees' radio voice John Sterling is not unfamiliar with double-dipping the occasional chip in the media dining room. But sadly his food etiquette transgressions do not end there, according to the New York Post's Page Six (it's Page Six, so you know it's true). The following ac...

The Great Proletarian Cultural Sneaker Revolution Has Begun
Still entertaining the notion that the U.S. may boycott the Beijing Olympics? Silly idealist. Take a look at these Adidas commercials which will begin airing in the Chinese market next month to coincide with the beginning of the Games. There's nothing like a little Marxist-Leninist-Maoist dogma mixe...

Morning Blogdome: Hiroki Kuroda Gets Rattled By The Rush
• Domo arigato Hiroki Kuroda: Almost perfect. But, alas, the Dodgers' rookie pitcher gave up one hit, 0 BBs, on the way to a 3-0 victory over the Atlanta Braves last night. Says a starstruck Joe Torre: "That was about as machine and robotic as you've ever seen a pitcher throw one strike after anothe...