the Page 999 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The EPL Season Ends ... And Look Who Called It!
David Hirshey writes regularly for Deadspin about soccer....
About Last Night
What you missed while realizing that making fun of names is just too easy sometimes ... • NBA: It's Pau Gasol who's been carrying the Lakers all season, so why is it Kobe's back that hurts? Jazz 123, Lakers 115, OT. • MLB: Big Hurt ties Cal Ripken in all-time RBI; Athletics rough up Rangers. • Colle...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch while wishing you had Dumbo's mom......
The Happiest Place On Earth, After Mom's Favorite Antique Store
For the last post before Mother's Day, it would only be appropriate to feature the professional athlete who's the closest to his mother. That would be Super Bowl MVP Buster Bluth Eli Manning, who finally took his requisite parade float down Main Street of Disneyland on Wednesday after missing it in ...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch while modifying your flatscreen with a burlap frame......
Christian Laettner Inducted Into Hall Of Ethnic White People
For a Dukie, Christian Laettner had a decent enough NBA career: 13 seasons in the league with six teams, a member of the 1992 Dream Team and an All-Star reserve in 1997. And for that, he's going to the Hall. Oh no, you big silly, not the NBA Hall of Fame. He will enter The National Polish-American S...
Dyshod Carter Probably Not The Next Frank Lucas
Dyshod Carter, a former cornerback for the Cardinals and Browns, was one of five people arrested earlier this week for attempting to purchase seven kilos of cocaine from an undercover DEA agent at the low, low Phoenix price of $16,000 a key....
Here She Comes, Here Comes Speed Racer
Quite a messy day of Indy 500 practice yesterday, with Danica Patrick's car clipping Dale Coyne Racing crewman Charles Buckman and sending him to the hospital with a concussion. Meanwhile, rookie driver Alex Lloyd hit a wall at 223 mph during a practice run and Mario Dominguez got in a minor wreck t...
Boston Bruins First To Adopt Five-Blade Technology
Want a close, comfortable shave while enjoying your next NHL game? First, apply a liberal amount of transmission fluid. Then make sure that your Zamboni includes the Gillette Fusion Power razor, with advanced blade technology and featuring precision trimmer for those tricky spots, like around the en...
Seriously, Who Ever Thought A Magazine For Athletes Would Work?
We, like just about everybody else who has actually seen the man speak in the last five years, remain awfully skeptical of this supposed financial brilliance of Lenny Dykstra. If you need any more proof, just remember: He's still struggling with his magazine for athletes, "The Players Club." ("Keep...
Pizza Madness Grips Ohio
OK, it wasn't quite THAT bad. But Papa John's 23-cent pizza promotion in Northeast Ohio on Thursday did draw enormous crowds, and wasn't completely peaceful. Aside from some stores running out of pizzas, there were shoving matches and verbal altercations as people waited in line for discount pies fo...
THE CHRIS FARLEY SHOW by Tom Farley, Jr., and Tanner Colby
Come and read the raucous, heartfelt, and heartbreaking story of a man who lived to make us laugh, and died trying—featuring over 100 new interviews with David Spade, Chris Rock, Lorne Michaels, Alec Baldwin, and many more. CHECK OUT AN EXCERPT AND ENTER TO WIN A COPY OF THE BOOK....
Mindy McCready's Confessions Haven't Translated Into Album Sales Yet
Mindy McCready, the "troubled" country singer who admitted she had some sort of relationship with Roger Clemens that would probably not be copasetic with Debbie Clemens, is also trying to revinvigorate her stalled country singing career with a new album, reality show, etc. Granted, plenty of other w...
It's PETA's World, We Just Live In It
When future generations study the first decade of the 21st Century, the debate of course will turn to the Great Racehorse Protests of 2008. In the wake of the Eight Belles tragedy at the Kentucky Derby, PETA is bringing all guns to bear on the remaining Triple Crown events; planning protests at the ...
Baby's First Breathalyzer Exam: Priceless
One of the reasons I don't attend many minor league baseball games in Tennessee: All the drunken babies. It's the Chattanooga Lookouts' popular Half Price Beer Night For Babies promotion, in which anyone two or younger can get completely hammered under the close supervision of team mascot Looie the ...
About Last Night
What you missed while at a stop sign ... • NBA: LeBron makes two key baskets against Celtics. Unfortunately, he missed his other 16 shots. Boston 76, Cleveland 72. • MLB: Diamondbacks' Randy Johnson somehow gets all of his surgically enhanced body parts to work in unision to earn 6-4 win over Philli...
GSTF Tour Returns ... In Milwaukee!
Well, in all the hullabaloo of the last week, we'd almost forgotten: We have a reading in Milwaukee this week! It had slipped past us, what with all the dumbing-down of America....
When The Horses Unite, All Will Fall
No longer will the horses stand idly by while we whip them into submission and destroy their ankles and other important pivots. The rebellion has begun. We attempted to warn you. But you arrogant human beings did not listen....
Even Joe Posnanski Gets Yelled At
Being a sports reporter is, at times, an absolutely horrible job. Sure you get to watch games, travel and interact with athletes, but there is a horrendous downside. (Which is pretty much everything else.) And this is never more disturbingly clear than when a reporter has their first (or 50th) awful...
Even A-Rod's Wife Questions Her Husband's Masculinity
It's tough for most of us to watch those "Miracle of Life" shows where they give you the full access to what it's really like to watch someone have a baby. After viewing it, you soon realize that even the most gruesome horror movies showing a screeching alien ejecting itself out of a person's stom...