this-is-so-stupid Page 18 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Throwing A Baseball At 90 Percent Speed Of Light Would Kill Thousands
The artistically inclined folks over at XKCD (authors of one of my favorite web comics ever) devoted one of their What If? segments today to the logically insane yet weirdly interesting scenario of what would happen if someone pitched a baseball at 90 percent the speed of light. Using actual science...
What If Joe Paterno Was Innocent? Hypothetical Dialogues From A Dark Time At Penn State
Circumstantially, the Jerry Sandusky case keeps getting worse and worse for Joe Paterno. Circumstantially. This past weekend, CNN described an email that Penn State's now-former athletic director, Tim Curley, allegedly sent to other university officials in 2001, canceling plans to report Sandusky to...
Tony La Russa Explains Decision Not To Put Johnny Cueto On All-Star Team By Admitting To Violating MLB CBA
Uh oh, we got ourselves a scandal, or something. Cincinnati Reds manager Dusty Baker and former St. Louis Cardinals manager Tony La Russa have never been especially fond of each other. Their relationship got even testier over the weekend when La Russa, who was in charge of making final selections f...
MLB Announces Starting Lineups For 83rd All-Star Game, Fans Everywhere Pissed
The MLB announced the starters for this year's midsummer exhibition-game-that-is-not-really-an-exhibition-game-because-home-field-advantage-is-inexplicably-awarded-to-the-league-that-wins-this-exhibition-game. That means it's time for everyone to gripe about how Player X should have been a starter ...
Congratulations To Bleacher Report On Its $200 Million Acquisition: Slideshow
In honor of Turner's nearly finalized $200 million purchase of Bleacher Report, here's a congratulatory slideshow, featuring a bunch of pictures of burning money. Please click through....
There's A Naughtily Named Pitching Matchup In The National League Today
Check it out: Petco Park this afternoon will host a hilarious sadomasochistic pitching showdown between Marquis and Cain! Thwack! You've been very naughty! Double entendres in baseball can't get much saucier than that....
Where In The World Was Chuck Knoblauch This Weekend?
When a story involving a visibly intoxicated Chuck Knoblauch hitting on women on a late-night Brooklyn subway ride surfaced yesterday, we were surprised and not surprised. Surprised because Knoblauch is about the most random former major leaguer imaginable—a good-to-very-good infielder who won four ...
LeBron James Cattily Responds To Lance Stephenson's Choke Gesture
Here's an example of that silly 24-hour news cycle we were chatting about earlier. Lance Stephenson made a choking gesture the other night as LeBron missed some free throws and now it's a federal case. Stephenson actually felt the need to apologize for the performance and has vowed to keep all futu...
No, NPR Veteran Nina Totenberg Was Not Removed From The Roger Clemens Trial For Eating Potato Chips
Word was circulating yesterday that Nina Totenberg, the 68-year-old legal-affairs reporter for NPR and the doyenne of the Supreme Court press corps, had gotten tossed out of the Roger Clemens trial for eating potato chips. At least, that's what we heard from a tipster....
Now's Your Chance To Buy The House Rob Gronkowski Grew Up In
The listing describes this "stately colonial" in the Buffalo, N.Y., suburb of Amherst as "fantastic and gracious." The house sits on 5.1 acres and has four bedrooms, three-and-a-half bathrooms, an oversized in-ground pool and hot tub, and tennis and basketball courts. But that's not all! A source te...
How A White Person Gets His Hair Cut In America Today
I went to get my hair cut the other day. I meant to get it cut a month earlier, but my wife went into early labor and had a kid and the kid had to stay in the NICU forever and there's no good time in the middle of all that to be like, "Excuse me, guys. Daddy needs some time for Daddy at the beauty p...
![Kanye West Claims He Could Have Jay-Z Drop Kris Humphries From The Nets In New Song "Theraflu" [NSFW]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/Image_Not_Found_1x_qjofp8.png)
Kanye West Claims He Could Have Jay-Z Drop Kris Humphries From The Nets In New Song "Theraflu" [NSFW]
So here's something you may or may not know. Kanye West released a new song on Wednesday called "Theraflu." In the song, Kanye drops the following lyric: "And I'll admit, I fell in love with Kim / ‘Round the same time she had fell in love wit' him/ Well that's cool, baby girl, do ya thing / Lucky ...
An Oral History Of Oddibe McDowell's Water Bill
Last month, Broward County’s wastewater services instituted password protection, meaning former MLB outfielder Oddibe McDowell’s water bill is no longer a matter of public record. To commemorate the 13-month joyride of transparency, Deadspin has commissioned an oral history. This is the story of Odd...
Here Is A Photo Of Rob Gronkowski Lying On A Bed With Some Cats
And it was sent to us by a reader who asked us not to use his name. That reader also passed along a little story to provide some context:...
Here's Terry Francona And Bud Selig Arguing Over Who Finished Each Other Off
ESPN's inaugural 2012 baseball broadcast last night didn't exactly go smoothly, what with people flipping off the Baseball Tonight set and cameras catching players pantsless. There was also the issue of Terry Francona's microphone, which had him either sounding like he was broadcasting from a clo...
Chow Fun: Jeremy Lin Has A Pleasant Lunch With "Chink In The Armor" Headline Writer
Anthony Federico, the former ESPNer who wrote the "Chink In The Armor" headline for which he has been apologizing to anyone who'll stand still long enough, tells Newsday: "We talked more about matters of faith [and] reconciliation. We talked about our shared Christian values and what we're both tryi...
The Rob Gronkowski Magical Mystery Tour Stopped At A Dunkin' Donuts Today
Aruban travel guide Rob Gronkowski continued his post-Spring Break whirlwind today by stopping off at a Dunkin' Donuts near Gillette Stadium to celebrate the two-year sponsorship deal he signed with the omnipresent global donut conglomerate. This customer, in particular, was super-gronked to see Gro...
Dubstep Nolan Ryan Wants To Look At That "Tremendous Wiener"
After public outcry and questioning regarding the Texas Rangers' plan to sell a $26 hot dog this season, team owner/president Nolan Ryan took to the Galloway & Company program on KESN-FM 103.3 in Dallas to profess his own curiosity about the behemoth frankfurter. He spoke about it in such a parti...
Goodbye, Old Friend: The Last Oddibe McDowell Water Bill We'll Ever See Is $80.55
The Broward County department of Waste and Wastewater Services is instituting password protection for viewing and paying customers' utility bills. This could be the last Oddibe McDowell water bill we ever see. It's $80.55, including a semi-annual stormwater fee....