ti Page 1545 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Nostradamus On Paterno (The Town In Sicily): "Flee Oh, Flee ... The Dreaded Pestilence!"
There is a new translation of Nostradamus's The Prophecies, the text that when read just so manages to predict everything from 9/11 to the rise of the Kennedys (and whose contents were the subject of roughly 98 percent of all emails forwarded from AOL accounts between 1998 and 2004). In a review on ...
Lolo Jones's Hurdling Excellence Explained In One Cool Visualization
Lori "Lolo" Jones is primarily known for two things: Being the most famous 29-year-old virgin on the planet and for being one hell of an Olympic hurdler. She's going for gold in London, but this visualization from The New York Times should be required viewing for anyone planning to watch her run on ...
Olympic Sprinters Will Be Running Not Only For Gold, But For These Frigging Adorable Baby Cheetahs
Today, the National Zoo in Washington, D.C. officially unveiled their two new cheetah cubs. The ridiculously cute fluffballs don't have names yet—the zoo is waiting on the Olympics. The three-month-old cubs will be named after the top American finishers in the men's and women's 100 meters. So, Justi...
Ricky Williams's Foundation For At-Risk Kids Has Been Taken Over By A Rasputin-Inspired Cult
The Ricky Williams Foundation was started "to be instrumental in the physical, mental, emotional and educational development of at-risk individuals from low social-economic communities." You wouldn't expect anything less from Ricky Williams, by all accounts one of the nicest, most genuine guys in fo...
Martin Prado Swings, Misses, Stumbles, Falls On His Ass
No one's going to remember that Martin Prado drew a walk to lead off what turned out to be a scoreless seventh for the Braves last night. What they will remember is the pure slapstick gold that ensued after Prado whiffed at the third pitch he saw from Mike Dunn, complete with the real-life laugh tra...
Rick Nash Is A Ranger, But Columbus Fans Shouldn't Kill Themselves Over It
On trade deadline day, Columbus's demands for Rick Nash were reportedly Brandon Dubinsky, Chris Kreider, Ryan McDonagh OR Michael Del Zotto, Derek Stepan OR Carl Hagelin, and a first-round draft pick. Well, Nash is officially a Ranger today, and Scott Howson did manage to get two of the items on his...
<em>Appetite For Destruction</em> At 25: Memories From Matt Taibbi, Justine Bateman, And More
Last week, I celebrated the 25th anniversary of Appetite for Destruction by telling the story of the first time I listened to the album. Here's a collection of stories from other writers (and from readers, too) about their experiences with the album. ...
Who Exactly Is Running <em>Sports Illustrated</em>? <em>Sports Illustrated</em> Staffers Want To Know.
At Sports Illustrated's weekly editorial meeting on Thursday, top editor Terry McDonell had some news for the 30 or so staffers assembled. Job cuts were over, he said. (There were 16 departures and three layoffs in all.) And then he said something outwardly innocuous that people at the magazine have...
The NCAA Is Using Penn State To Justify Its Own Horrid Existence
OK, first of all, you people at the NCAA are gutless shitbags. I know you're probably spending this morning in an Indianapolis conference room patting each other on the back and tugging each other's cocks and ordering EXTRA Einstein bagels for everyone for a job well done (why not, you've got $60 mi...
The A's Finishing A Four-Game Sweep Of The Yankees Is So Improbable It Sounds Like Something Out Of WWE
A game-tying homer in the ninth forced extras, and Coco Crisp's 12th-inning walkoff single closed the door on an unexpected four-game series sweep of the Yankees for Oakland. The performance had Yanks fans wondering if happy days would ever return and the rest of the American League East breathing ...
Drew Brees's Attorney Drafts Affidavit In Support Of Jonathan Vilma, Drew Brees Signs Affidavit
The affidavit was filed in federal court on Saturday in support of Jonathan Vilma's motion to dismiss Roger Goodell's decision to suspend Vilma for the 2012 season....
Roberto Hernandez Apologizes To Cleveland Fans, Fans Are Just As Confused As You Are
"But he...that guy looks like...Faus...to?"...
Dongs In Relief: The Week In Unintentional Dong Submissions
What would we do without you guys? If it wasn't for the all the unintentional dong submissions, we interns would just be frantically Googling "phallic" and "penis vegetable," desperate for anything that looked even remotely like a dong. But you guys always come through. This time around, we begin w...
Man Ruins Perfectly Good Sweater With Tribute To Joe Mauer
Sometimes the wastefulness of Americans is downright disgusting. We have homeless folks who would be eternally grateful for the shirts off our collective backs and this selfish jerk just decides to ruin his sweater by cutting into it so it would look like a Joe Mauer jersey....
Miguel Batista No Longer On Best Team In Baseball
To be fair, he never really was on the best team in baseball, but the Mets designated Miguel Batista for assignment on Sunday morning....
Tiger's Errant Drive At 11 Today Created A Thundering Herd Of Freaks
A haphazard day for Tiger Woods continued at the par-five 11 this morning as his tee shot went well to the right, landing behind the gallery and creating a stampede of idiots desperate to get a glimpse of Tiger's golf ball. Our favorite is backpack guy, but there's plenty of gems to pick out in sl...
Report: NCAA To Hit Penn State With "Unprecedented" Penalties
Tomorrow morning at 9:00 a.m. in Indianapolis, the NCAA will reportedly announce how it intends to punish Penn State following its handling of the the Jerry Sandusky scandal. The penalties have been termed "unprecedented" and will be leveled at both the school itself and the football program....
Colorado St. Recruit Injured In Colorado Shooting
Zack Golditch, a high school senior who recently committed to play football for the Colorado State Rams, was among the injured following the shooting at the midnight showing of The Dark Knight in Aurora, Colorado. Golditch, along with current and future teammates were in the theater adjacent to the...
Feeding Seagulls Laxatives Ends Exactly As Expected
This is terrible. If you've ever had a bird shit on you, you know this. It once happened to me, actually—my fault for going to Shea Stadium....
Tim Tebow Is Working On His Mechanics With An Expert (In Something)
Tim Tebow is doing everything he can to prove he is a legitimate NFL quarterback to all those doubters out there. Everything now includes working with former major league pitcher Tom House....