ti Page 1573 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Hair Of The Dong: The Week In Unintentional Dong Submissions
I know you were worried, but rest assured, here is your weekly dong fix. We get things started this week with a submission from none other than Dong Curator Emeritus, Brian Hickey. In his own words: "This is actually a hair on my bathroom wall. The fuck did that happen?" Please remember to support ...

Umpire Greg Gibson Took A Stephen Strasburg Fastball To The Crotch
Ump Greg Gibson, behind the plate for today's Nats-Marlins matchup, was in a Very Bad Place today when Wilson Ramos mishandled a Stephen Strasburg fastball and deflected it right into Gibson's groin area. Gibson bounced back rather quickly—most MLB umps wear cups when working the plate, after all...

Welsh Rugby Out To Kill All Kinds Of Popes, Not Just The Catholic Ones
This story is strange on a number of levels. In 2008, two Welsh doctors discovered that going back to 1883, five roman Catholic Popes had died whenever Wales rugby won the Grand Slam. The Grand Slam, of course, is when one team in the annual Six Nations Championship beats all the other teams in a g...

"I Always Told Her I Would Take Her For A Ride": Notes From Bobby Petrino's Meeting With Arkansas Before They Fired Him
"I am still looking for ways you can remain our coach," Arkansas athletic director Jeff Long wrote in his prepared notes before a meeting with Bobby Petrino. It was April 8, and the university would fire Petrino with cause two days later. "Help me understand why this [sic] are not violations of your...

LOL OMG NHL: Hockey Goes After The BuzzFeed Generation
Our friends at Jezebel pointed us to this post on BuzzFeed: "The Hottest Guys In The NHL." It's a standard BuzzFeed numbered list of large photos, with a sentence or two apiece, perfectly designed to be shared around Facebook and Pinterest by a very specific subset of the internet. But the top text ...

Unpopular Sport Forms "Strategic Promotional Alliance" With Band That Sucks
Big announcement today from the NHL. So big it merited a press release that maunders on for nearly 1,000 words. You're not going to bother reading it, but here's the gist: The NHL has an awards show on June 20 in Las Vegas. It has hired Nickelback to be the headlining band. It's hailing the move as ...

McCarve'd Up: Your Weekly Look At The Stupidest Things Tim McCarver Said During Saturday's Game
MLB on FOX lead analyst Tim McCarver is entering a new phase of his career: the one in which he must be referred to as "Hall of Fame broadcaster Tim McCarver." Thus, we enter the 2012 baseball season wondering if McCarver might actually step up his game and provide color commentary worthy of such a...

Pedro Martinez And Kevin Millar Delivered A Boozy, Awkward Toast To Fenway Before Today's Game
A lengthy ceremony recognizing the 100th anniversary of Fenway Park before today's Yankees-Red Sox game came to a close with former Sox stars Kevin Millar and Pedro Martinez offering a toast, sort of, to the stadium—while sounding a bit like they'd been rehearsing it for some time. (The Red Sox a...

The Charlotte Bobcats Can't Even Beat The Spread
The Bobcats' losing streak has reached 18 games, and they're flirting with the all-time worst single-season winning percentage in NBA history. You would expect an experienced gambler to see them as a good bet because the entire world thinks so little of them. Er, no....

A Frozen Clock Was Nearly Disastrous In The Caps-Bruins Game
With 9.5 seconds left and the Capitals up by a goal, the puck was dropped in Washington's zone. But for more than five seconds, the clock refused to start. The Bruins cycled it around, with Patrice Bergeron getting off a shot just at the buzzer. It was thankfully blocked, because a score there wou...

The PR Guy From Some Ultimate Frisbee Team Knows You Saw Their Brief Highlight Clip That One Time
Professional ultimate frisbee is now a thing. The eight-team American Ultimate Disc League held its season opener last weekend, and the league is doing all it can to get the word out. This afternoon, we got an email from a PR guy with the Indianapolis AlleyCats, and while it's the standard sort of p...

Britain's Grand National Is The World's Most-Watched Horse Slaughter
An estimated 600 million people worldwide watched Saturday's 165th Grand National, the annual steeplechase held outside Liverpool with a purse worth more than $1.5 million. Outside of World Cup finals and India-Pakistan cricket matches, it is the world's most-viewed sporting event (it has four ti...

<em>The Lucky One</em> and <em>Think Like a Man</em>: Hollywood Wants You to Have a Terrible Love Life
Like a lot of people, I learned about relationships at a young age by watching movies and TV shows. Only now in my adult life do I realize how much influence Cheers and Woody Allen and L.A. Story had on me: They helped to create a sense that love was this melancholy thing that rarely lasted, no matt...

Memphis Coach's Explanation For NCAA Violation: "My Wife Was Yelling At Me"
Josh Pastner committed a no-no the other night: He tweeted the name of a recruit from the University of Memphis's official men's basketball Twitter account. NCAA rules prohibit coaches from discussing recruits until they sign, and even though the tweet was deleted quickly, the damage had been done. ...

Ozzie Guillen Has More Praise For Some Guy Named Castro, According To ESPN
Here's hoping everybody reads beyond the headline....

Prince Fielder Steals A Base, Doesn't Need Oxygen Afterward, Maybe
It's pretty obvious Royals lefty Jonathan Sanchez never thought Prince Fielder would bother to run, let alone actually make it to second, which is no doubt why Fielder figured he could take off on Sanchez's first move. And look at him go! It's actually the 17th stolen base of Fielder's career—he h...

Wayne Gretzky's Dad Thinks Fighting In Hockey Is "Stupid"
Joe O'Connor of the National Post has written a wonderful story on Walter Gretzky, father of Wayne and "King of Hockey Dads." The 73-year-old Gretzky has battled hearing and memory loss for years and was just recently diagnosed with Parkinson's. Despite all that, he maintains a good spirit and had d...

Dope Scandal: Why Is ESPN's Drugs-In-College-Football Story So Stupid?
Honestly, I feel bad for everyone involved in the making of this ESPN The Magazine feature about college football's marijuana "problem," which has to be the stupidest sports-and-dope story I've read in an allegedly reputable outlet since the Yahoo guy went running around the Syracuse campus with a p...

Breaking Down The Athletes Of The <i>Time</i> 100
Time Magazine's 100 Most Influential People list is out, and I checked, you aren't on it. But some athletes are! But how did they get there? How can a pro athlete who's not Muhammad Ali or Jackie Robinson or Maximus from Gladiator possibly qualify as "influential?" Time's metric for selection is top...

LeBron And Jay-Z Have A Secret Handshake
We regret missing this after the Nets-Heat game on Monday night, but you ought to forgive us because it was a game that involved the New Jersey Nets. LeBron James scored the Heat's final 17 points—Miami outscored Jersey by 12 in the fourth quarter but only won by three—and then shook hands with Net...