ti Page 1584 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Turns Out George Clooney Was Not The Biggest Cock In <i>Ocean's Eleven</i>: The Week In Unintentional Dongs
Welcome back to Unintentional Dong Submissions: Weekend Edition. Here are this week's everyday occurences that struck you, the reader, as phalluses. Phalli? Whatever. This one, the floor plan for the Bellagio in Ocean's Eleven comes courtesy of Mike. Be sure to send in any would-be penises to the t...
Today In Jose Canseco Tweets As Motivational Posters: Grow
This is a feature where we celebrate Jose Canseco by creating motivational posters out of his actual tweets. We believe it is in this context that the world can best appreciate our favorite Bash Brother....
Watch Creighton's Grant Gibbs Inbound The Ball Off An Alabama Guy's Back And Score
These are always great. Grant Gibbs goes off Nick Jacobs's lumbar for the easy layup, giving us the rare and wonderful highlight/lowlight combo. (Creighton won the game by a point.) Clark Kellogg calls it a "smart schoolyard play," which raises the question: What kind of schoolyard game features i...
Plucky, Undersized Cincinnati Basketball Coach Is Unaware Of His Pluckiness
This is the headline on Paul Daugherty's column in today's Cincinnati Enquirer:...
Nicolas Cage, Dying (And Humping January Jones) Before Our Very Eyes
We have reached the point where the release of a new Nicolas Cage movie is less fodder for humor than it is an indignity upon everyone involved with its making. It is odd, actually, that movies like Seeking Justice, which will slink across 250 screens today, less a movie release than a walk of shame...
Manningwatch 2012: Seriously, What The Hell?
Can you pinpoint the precise moment the Peyton Manning chase turned insane?...
A Clearly Bored Steve Smith Tried (And Failed) To Touch Virtual Graphics On-Air Today
Former Michigan State basketball star Steve Smith is part of the revolving door of Turner basketball analysts feeding the NCAA tournament frenzy on TNT, TBS, and TruTV—and it seems he's already grown bored, given his wandering off-set and into the augmented reality graphics onscreen. It's only mad...
Andy Pettitte Is Un-Retiring To Join The Yankees, Because Why The Hell Not
YES Network man Jack Curry tweets that the Yanks signed Pettitte to a one-year, $2.5-million minor league contract (which is really something that only the Yankees could do). Pettitte, who retired after the 2010 season, apparently had dreamed of a comeback in recent weeks....
Kentucky Fans Are Convinced That UPS Is Out To Get Them
Perhaps you've seen this UPS ad, which has aired since conference tournaments began. Seizing on their new tagline of "logistics," it features the famous 1992 regional final between Kentucky and Duke that ended on Christian Laettner's buzzer-beater. A dark moment for UK, but a legendary ending to o...
Tragically, The Best Mascot In March Madness Has Been Eliminated
On this week's video excerpt from Slate's Hang Up and Listen podcast, Mike Pesca of NPR tells you everything you might want to know about WuShock, the wheaty Wichita State Shockers mascot. The real Shockers fell to VCU, 62-59, last night, but WuShock lives on with all of us....
Dee Gordon Walks, Keeps On Going To Second
Dodgers speedster Dee Gordon takes advantage of a Royals' lapse in concentration, and after drawing a walk, takes off for second before the next batter steps in. On one hand, that move relies on the element of surprise and can only be pulled off once in a blue moon, so why waste it in spring train...
UConn's Season Encapsulated: Jeremy Lamb Blows A Dunk At The Buzzer With The Huskies Down 13
UConn operated with a certain air of jack-assery this season, and there's really no better example than how that season ended, as UConn stole the ball from Iowa State (which was just running out the clock in the accepted manner of sportsmanship) and Jeremy Lamb botched a windmill dunk. Your reigni...
Roscoe Smith's Attempt At A Buzzer-Beater Was The Worst Since Roscoe Smith
UConn's Roscoe Smith, famed for this ludicrously early buzzer-beater last season, let another ball go near the end—but not at the end—of the first half in the Huskies' 8-9 matchup against Iowa State in Louisville. It wasn't as ridiculous as his attempt against Texas, but it was close. [TBS]...
Will Ferrell, King Of WTF
Will Ferrell has a movie coming out this Friday, and there's a chance you aren't even aware of it. That's probably fine with him—although that doesn't mean he's not really proud of this film....
Chien-Ming Wang Injures Himself Attempting The Always-Tricky "Step On First Base" Play
Wang left in the third inning of today's spring training start after breaking down while attempting to beat a runner to the bag. It's funny, but it's not funny, because it was another non-pitching related activity—running the bases in interleague play—that turned Wang from a 19-game winner into a ...
British Media Can't Stop Talking About How David Cameron Ate Hot Dogs At A Basketball Game
The British press has already dubbed President Obama and Prime Minister David Cameron's trip to Tuesday's Western Kentucky-MVSU First Four game "The Hot Dog Summit," and U.K. news reports all appear to be uniquely concerned with Cameron's consumption of the mid-game snack....
Go Away Now, Pat Knight, You Loser, Bully, And Pathetic Rage-Case
Who are you going to yell at today, Pat Knight? Who is going to get humiliated in public now that your Lamar basketball team got destroyed in the NCAA play-in game last night?...
Sex Offenders And NHL Success: An Astonishingly Accurate New Metric
I'm not big on advanced stats in hockey. It's not because I don't think they're valuable, but because it's tough to translate the concepts to what I'm seeing on the ice. It's my own ignorance, yes, but for a new generation of hockey metrics to take hold, they'll have to be more relatable to the aver...
DC Assault Coach Charged With...Assault
Curtis Malone, who coaches the AAU DC Assault team, which has sent scores of players to Division I basketball programs and several to the NBA, including Michael Beasley and Jeff Green, has been charged with second-degree assault after some shit allegedly went down last month at a Maryland high schoo...
Just Another Spinning, Jumping, Behind-The-Back Pass From Rajon Rondo
Ho hum, just your run-of-the-mill no-look, mid-air, behind-the-back assist from Rajon Rondo, one of 14 on the night in a Boston win at Golden State. He doesn't care if you're not in his field of vision, or if he's double-covered, Rondo will get you the ball....