ti Page 1653 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Luongo's Legacy: Not Tonight
There are two things you should know about Roberto Luongo's final game this season, besides the one thing you will remember....
NFL Is Surprisingly Uncool With Its Players Appearing In Uniform Advertising "Pornstar Exxxtravaganza"
To be fair, those five players are Brandon Flowers, Eric Berry, Kareem Jackson, Jacoby Ford, and Major Wright, and we're willing to bet most potential patrons of the Pornstar Exxxtravaganza wouldn't have identified them all. They needed their uniforms....
This Is The Lone American That Stands Between Soccer And Total Corruption
A lone wolf. An avenging angel. A force for good and justice in FIFA. Chuck Blazer, American hero....
Nationals Unveil "Iconic, Defining Element," A Hamburger You Can Get At The Mets Game
Nationals Park is clean, cozy, semi-convenient, and all-around quite serviceable as a major league ballpark. But nothing there grabs you like PNC Park's view, or AT&T Park's bay, or Minute Maid Park's stupid hill. Nationals Park is a forgettable place to watch a forgettable team. But not any more! (...
What The Miami Heat Taught Us About Fascism (And Maybe Cat Sex, Too)
FreeDarko's Bethlehem Shoals, co-author of The Undisputed Guide to Pro Basketball History (visit the FreeDarko store, too!) and our erstwhile Heat Strokes diarist, closes the book on Miami's season....
Bills Fan's Cock 'N' Balls Make The Newspaper (SFWish)
Check out junior in the Posluszny jersey. Now check out his crotch, you pervert. At least it's Buffalo, so he can always have the "it was cold" excuse....
Peyton And Eli Manning Are: <em>Football Cops</em>
Our tipster grabbed these photos and videos of the Brothers Manning filming in Greenpoint, Brooklyn last month. (He then promptly gave them to TMZ, which posted them much faster than we did.)...
Tim Donaghy On Game 6: Wandering Eyes
As he did for us last year, Tim Donaghy, a contributing writer for The Sports Connection (www.DannyB.info) and a former NBA referee who spent 11 months in prison for relaying inside information to gamblers, will review the performance of his former colleagues during the NBA Finals. Here's a quarte...
Lance Armstrong Stepped To Tyler Hamilton Outside A Boys Room In Aspen On Saturday
For a man with one testicle, Lance Armstrong has enormous balls. This past weekend, Armstrong all but challenged his former teammate and current nemesis, Tyler Hamilton, to a duel outside the bathroom of a swank Aspen restaurant. Hamilton was in town to lead bike rides for Outside magazine and dine ...
104-Year-Old Woman Celebrates Birthday At Tigers Game, Wastes Her Life
Her birthday was actually last month, but that game was naturally rained out. So yesterday Mary Johnson braved the 50-degree temperatures to take in her first Tigers game since 1936. The Tigers lost, of course....
At Least One Newspaper Thinks The Heat Won
They're looking to punch every one of you in the gut with a Macy's ad congratulating the Heat on their title, and offering championship gear for sale. Which...still doesn't really make a lot of sense, considering that if Miami had won last night, the series would still be going on. Oh well. Instead ...
The Twitter Flameout Of Harvey Updyke, Alleged Tree Poisoner
SB Nation discovered ol' Harvey on Twitter on Friday. By Saturday, he had called it a Twitter career....
Bill Plaschke Tries Bill Simmons On For Size
With today's game six preview column, Plaschke has entered the pantheon of writers who write like Bill Simmons....
Facing the Lockout, <em>Madden</em> and NFL Fans Seek a Common Refuge
At E3 this week, the sight I was least prepared for was that of Ray Lewis in full Baltimore Ravens uniform: eye-black, skullcap, gloves, wristbands, everything. This was an appearance for Madden NFL 12 but to him, it didn't look… [Kotaku] ...
In Wrestlemania VI Rematch, Ultimate Warrior To Yell At Hulk Hogan A Lot
The Ultimate Warrior (legal name: "Warrior") is pissed at Hulk Hogan for something or other. That includes a handful of YouTube videos, recorded on his desktop camera in his den like so many American teenagers. I'm not sure exactly what he's mad about, because I'll be damned if I'm going to watch ...
Hungover Rock Climber Poops Hisself
Here, watch this. It's old. But it's good! It also has poop. Whatever, it's a summer Friday....
And This Is Why We Need Grantland
If you haven't yet read Charlie Pierce's Grantland essay about his time at The National, you should, and not just because it's Pierce hanging out in Bill Simmons's house, and not just because it's the best appreciation of the much-appreciated National you'll find. You should read it because it's ess...
Tim Donaghy On Game 5: Earning The Offensive Foul
As he did for us last year, Tim Donaghy, a contributing writer for The Sports Connection (www.DannyB.info) and a former NBA referee who spent 11 months in prison for relaying inside information to gamblers, will review the performance of his former colleagues during the NBA Finals. Here's a quarte...
Sporting KC's First Home Goal Was Scored By A Cow
More precisely, a streaker in a cow costume. That's how the rebranded SKC opened Livestrong Park. It was to be the only goal on a rainy night, so we don't think the fans are booing as the cowman is dragged off the field. We think they're mooing. [h/t Kyle, others]...
Far Better Than This Goalie Scoring Is The Suspiciously Laid-Back Commentary That Accompanies His Goal
Goalies don't often score, especially not from the hinterlands behind the halfway line. But when they do, they should all be so lucky as to have two exceedingly mellow West Indian commentators celebrate their exploits. The particulars of this goal come to us from tipster Sam F, who reports that th...