ti Page 1737 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Socialized Soccer: The Ill-Conceived Plan To Return English Football To The English
Sick of foreign businessmen and oil magnates buying up the Premiership's best, then driving them into the ground, the government has proposed some ways to put teams back in the hands of the fans. They're all unworkable....

Lacrosse Players Beat The Crap Out Of Each Other; Crowd Rejoices
The Boston Blazers and the Philadelphia Wings had a little lacrosse brawl Saturday, doing to each other what everyone has wanted to do to a lacrosse player at some point. Kudos to the quick-thinking music coordinator (Mötley Crüe!). [The700Level.com]...

Augusta's Chauvinism Enabled Tiger, Says Masters Rabble Rouser
Tiger Woods's return at the Masters is fitting, because it's the mentality at that all-male club that drove him to cheat on his wife with an endless parade of floozies. That's Martha Burk's take on it, anyway....

This Is What A Young Atlanta Braves Pitcher Looks Like When He's Busted For Soliciting Imaginary Hookers
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Hulking Man-Mountain And Pixie Companion Pretend To Be Dead Dolphins
Yup, that's Wladimir Klitschko and Hayden Panettiere protesting a Japanese fishing village's annual dolphin hunt. It could be effective, as it probably reminds the locals of this. [AP]...

Today In Police Intervention At Sporting Events
Courtesy of Puck Daddy, Daniel Rahimi of Rogel scored the game-winner in OT and, like all good villains, "shhh"-ed the crowd. The AIK fans took offense and expressed their disapproval by trying to fight the Rogel coaching staff....

Shaquille O'Neal, Hipster Icon: A Weekly Roundup From The Tips Forum
We get many fantastic tips in our inbox and from the #tips forum. Some are not so great. These are some of those #tips we specifically overlooked or ignored. All apologies....

Down And Out In Daytona, Part 3: A False-Titted Spring
This is the final installment of Pat Jordan's Spring Break adventure, in which our correspondent attends a wet t-shirt contest and finds America in a state of permanent adolescence and mild arousal. Read Part 1 here and Part 2 here....

I Guess They'll Let Anyone Go There Now: Your 9:30ish Open Thread
It's the rich kids vs. the (shhh) rich kids, i.e. Cornell-Kentucky. The Pride of Cincinnati vs. The Other Manhattan, i.e. Xavier-Kansas State. Will Ashley Judd be seen again, or can Cornell win one for a fictional character?...

Barack Obama Did Not Bail Out His Brother-In-Law At Oregon State
Today In Email Forwards From Your Crazy Aunt: Did Barack Obama funnel $17 million worth of federal stimulus money to Oregon State in order to save his wife's brother's coaching job? Uh ... no....

Down And Out In Daytona, Part 2: Among The Fornicators
This is the second installment of Pat Jordan's dispatch from Spring Break. Jordan, the author of A False Spring, took his gun and his cigars to Daytona Beach and filed this report over the mojo wire. Part 1 is here....

Tebow Draft Rationalization Watch: The Patriots Are Capable Of Anything
As the NFL Draft approaches, many team fanbases will attempt complex logical gymnastics to talk themselves into using a first-round pick on Florida quarterback Tim Tebow. Today: What does Bill Belichick know that we don't?...

Searching For...The Player Who Told Tim Tebow To STFU
One NFL hopeful shocked and delighted the world by telling Tebow to "shut the fuck up" after he requested a pre-Wonderlic prayer. But we haven't yet been able to put a name to the words. That's where you come in....

In Which OJ Simpsons Befriends A Gay Prison Gang
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Video: Urban Meyer Threatens Reporter Over Tebow Quotes
The Gator coach had words — and almost more — with an Orlando Sentinel reporter over what he thought was unfair treatment of Tim Tebow. For a man with stress-related health problems, this was not a good moment for Meyer....

A Cheerleader-Eaten-By-A-Mascot Blast From The Past
Last time we checked in, we thought we were dealing with a new phenomenon. Footage unearthed today by reader Art, however, explicitly shows an '80s-era cheerleader being devoured by a mascot on something called Barbara Mandrell and the Mandrell Sisters....

Autistic Kid's Perfect NCAA Bracket Can Easily Be Faked
No one is calling 17-year-old Alex Hermann a liar, but CBS Sports' "Bracket Manager" does make it impossible to verify that he correctly called all 48 NCAA tournament winners—and also makes it easy to forge a perfect score....

Down And Out In Daytona, Part 1: A Postcard From Spring Break, Circa 1983
Earlier this month, we sent Pat Jordan, author of A False Spring and a lot of fine sports journalism, down to Daytona Beach for Spring Break. He took a pistol and a van and sent back this report, via fax....

Tiger Woods's First Porn Mistress, Joslyn James, Publishes Something New: Wingman's Email
Joslyn James, Tiger's tawdry porn star hump-buddy best known for publishing those awful text messages, has returned with a new batch of quasi-incriminating evidence: Uchitelian emails from Tiger wingman Bryon Bell. See below....

Last Night's Winner: Slightly Less-Sudden Death
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like those who love to complain about the NFL's overtime system and have now been appeased....with something else to complain about....