ti Page 1753 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Artie Lange Stabbed Himself Nine Times. Jesus.
Lange's mother found him Saturday at his Hoboken apartment. He had six hesitation wounds, according to the New York Post, and three "deep plunges." Doctors managed to save him despite heavy bleeding. [NYP]...

A Breakdown Of Sports Stars' Chances On "The Apprentice"
Some big names will be joining Donald Trump in the boardroom, and Deadspin isn't afraid to get service-y and give you the lowdown on which of the former athletic legends might show some acumen for entrepreneurship....

The Original Sports Guy, Now Blogging
Charles P. Pierce — author, Deadspin's chief book critic, and America's best sportswriter (no matter how many pins Bill Simmons sticks in his voodoo doll) — now has a blog. Read it immediately. [Boston.com]...

Alabama Fans Threaten Weatherman, God Over Snowstorm
Tomorrow night's forecast for Birmingham, Alabama, calls for freezing temperatures and snow, possibly mixed with rain. It's a Southern TV meteorologist's wet dream. Which is why everyone is preemptively pissed at them for interrupting the BCS Championship with storm updates....

Canada (Finally) Becomes More Skeptical About Pat Burns' Tiger Woods Tale
"According to deadspin.com, which monitors Web hoaxes(Yes!), rumours peddled by former NHL coach Pat Burns to a Montreal radio station came from a number of circulating e-mails.."[Winnipeg Sun] Earlier: [Deadspin]...

Tough Days For Those Riding The Tiger
Lost in all this hoopla about poor little rich Elin are the real victims of Woods's indiscretion: celebrity impersonators and video game makers....

"I Like To Fight In The Nude" - Behind Kobe Bryant Deathmatch Fiction
What if Kobe and LeBron fought to the death? We go inside the mind of the man who's played out that scenario in gory, hilarious detail....

Austin Takes The Lead In Menstrual BCS Trash Talk
We're still two days away from the fake National Championship Game, but it's not to early for fans of Texas/Alabama to start hurling gross insults at each other. Unfortunately, Alabama's nickname makes it a little too easy for some....

Hoaxish Tiger Woods Story Finally Crosses The 49th Parallel
"After dinner, Tiger Woods watched football in the living room while sending text messages to Rachel, the famous blond [sic]," according to — oh, man, this is almost too adorable — a former NHL coach....

Today In TMZish Sports: Matt Kemp Gets Handsy And A Dwarf Cock-Blocks A Boxer (UPDATE)
These are some of the things that are happening in the nether regions of the sports gossip world. This news is not breaking. It is not exclusive. There are no exclamation points. We did not pay for these photos....

Last Night's Winner: Screenshot Enthusiasts
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like those who watched the Fiesta Bowl's cornucopia of bizarre and occasionally disturbing images. And then flooded our inbox with every single one of them....

<em>Vanity Fair</em> Reveals Beefcake Tiger Woods Photos It Had Laying Around The Office
Photos by the esteemed Annie Leibovitz show Tiger's sexy side, one that only his wife and most of America's cocktail waitresses have been privy to so far. Additional scolding essay written starred commenter H.G. Bissinger. [HuffPo]...

Reruns Win The Weekend
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like the NFL teams who beat another team just to win the right to play that same team again. Why did they even bother?...

Brit Hume Will Be Reincarnated As A Prick
On Tiger: "He is said to be a Buddhist. I don't think that faith offers the kind of forgiveness and redemption that is offered by the Christian faith. So, my message to Tiger is, 'Tiger, turn to the Christian faith...'"...

Overgrown Monster Man And Peppy She-Child Make Beautiful Music
Wladimir Klitschko and Hayden Panettiere, besides exploding my spellchecker, have been photographed canoodling (this is a word that only applies to celebrity couples). Do with this news what you will. [Pacific Coast News]...

Introducing: The Curtis Painter Rule
The NFL is reportedly considering persuading playoff-bound teams to play their starters by rewarding them with additional draft picks. Sounds good in the wake of last week's Colts abortion, but let's back the fuck up for a second....

Your Early Games Open Thread
Jackpot! Both FOX and CBS have two games today. Too bad most of the rosters will be UFL-quality. It's Curtis Painter's time to shine! [The506]...

The Golf Channel Gets Racy After Dark
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

In ESPN's Defense, I'm Pretty Sure They Accept Passports As Valid I.D.
During their coverage of this afternoon's International Bowl (now involving two countries!), ESPN2 did a fly-by of some of the splendors of downtown Toronto. Naturally, they included the historic Zanzibar strip club, which I understand doubles as the American Embassy....

China's Mysterious Golf Island
22 courses in an area one-and-a-half times the size of Manhattan. Shrouded in intrigue and controversy. Destroyed mountains and shared jackfruit. A fascinating read on Dubai-level bombast with Communist-level secrecy....