ti Page 1758 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Bearcats Bid Un-Emotional Goodbye to Brian Kelly
Brian Kelly said farewell to his Cincinnati charges last night and many responded by kindly asking their ex-coach to mind both the door and the area where the Good Lord split him as he makes his way through it....

Madness Is...A 49ers Taquería Mural
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Tiger's Teeth Apparently No Longer Perfect
Your evening Tiger update: The UK Sun is reporting that, on the morning of the accident, Elin did to her husband's teeth with a cell phone what she would later do to his SUV's rear window with a sand wedge....

Notre Dame Gets Its Angry, Egotistical Man
The South Bend Tribune is reporting that after an earlier feint toward UConn, Notre Dame has made its decision and Cincinnati's Brian Kelly will take the reigns in South Bend. But is he a big enough jerk?...

<em>Life & Style</em> Goes Fishing For Tiger Tales
A Life & Style reporter is searching for information about Joslyn James. If anyone can help her, please contact her immediately. I won't be able to help, unfortunately. Her email, after the jump....

The Machine Won: 10 Preposterous Moments From <em>SI</em>'s 1996 Tiger Woods Profile
In 1996, Sports Illustrated named a 20-year-old Tiger Woods its Sportsman of the Year, and Gary Smith's accompanying story portrayed a young man who somehow combined the best parts of Doogie Howser and Buddha. It seemed like a stretch....

Seven-Foot Santa Monster Terrifies Local Toddlers
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Tiger Now Crushing Children's Dreams
A Wisconsin middle school band had hoped to fund their trip to Disney World by auctioning off an athlete's autographed photo. That athlete? Tiger Woods. That auction? Last weekend. Shit....

And You Thought VORP Was Confusing
Someone much smarter than me uses something called Bayesian inference to argue that umpires ought to give a wider strike zone to pitchers with reputations. Any nerd commenters want to explain this to the rest of us? [Baseball Analysts]...

Tim Thomas Brawl Classes Up Denny's
The Mavericks forward was involved in an early morning throwdown at a Dallas Denny's today. Nothing good happens at Denny's at 3 a.m. Nothing good happens at Denny's....

Porn Actress Reveals Sordid Details Of Her Tiger Fling: "His Teeth Are Perfect"
Below is a video from May in which Holly Sampson — star of MILF Bone 4; OMG, Stop Tickling Me; and an episode of Matlock — discusses her one-night fling with Tiger Woods, "perfect gentleman."...

Who's Not Lying About (or For) Tiger Woods Right Now?
TI-ger Watch... Club-carrying Kiwi goon, Steve Williams, contends he had no idea his boss was such a cad: "I do not have any personal knowledge of anything in the reports related to the Tiger Woods' stories." High fucking five, Stevie....

A Brief History Of Campus Recruiting Hostesses
We hope you didn't get the impression that Tennessee is the only school to use attractive young ladies as bait to lure prospective athletes, because it's actually a college football tradition as revered as marching bands and beer bongs....

Tennessee's "Hostess" Program Catches Recruits' (And NCAA's) Eyes (Updated)
The New York Times has a verrrrry interesting story about an NCAA investigation at Tennessee, concerning recruiting "hostesses"—i.e., hot Tennessee co-eds who get quite friendly with talented high school football players. (Updates below)...

Brendan Haywood Once Again Displays His Fine Moral Sense
Haywood, last seen in a fit of gay panic, writes: "All I'm saying is that Elin better be glad she's married to Tiger Woods instead of Chris Brown or this whole story could've been reported differently!" Amirite? [Yardbarker, via Rick]...

Last Night's Winner: Curtis Granderson
In sports, everybody is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like Curtis Granderson, who no longer has to carry the hopes and dreams of a shattered city on his shoulders. Plus, there's less running to do....

Bowden Announces New Endeavor: Holding A Grudge
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Third Generation Bonds Gets A Hit, And Rob Neyer Turns It Into A Hit Piece
Nikolai Bonds was an omnipresent cheerleader during his father's quest for history. Now he's 19 and arrested for assaulting his mother. They grow up so fast....

Pregnant Athlete Doesn't Want To Be Babied By School
A Texas high schooler is filing a Title IX complaint against her school district after her volleyball coach benched her in her first trimester. This sounds like a no-win situation for everyone involved....

Hold That, Tiger
Our friends Toucher and Rich noticed an interesting bit of ink on the lower back region of Joslyn James, that may or may not be a large jungle cat-like thing poised to pounce on anyone who approaches her from behind....