ti Page 1784 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Sports Writer Turns To Pimping For Extra Cash
Things are tough these days for newspapers (don't say it) and their writers (don't say it), but if you must work a second job, please don't try "deriving income from prostitution," because that just causes more difficulties for you. (Don't....)...

Birmingham's Fake Basketball Tournament Causes International Incident
Venezuela's national basketball team flew all the way to Alabama to participate in an international tournament, only to discover they were the only international team there. Also, the "tournament" was just one game. You've done it again, Birmingham, Alabama....

Starred Commenter Theater: Water Polo Roughhousing
Show your open caption abilities, please. [A Hungarian water polo player, right, and his Serbian opponent in the quarterfinals of the world championships in Rome; image via European Pressphoto Agency via NYT]...

Jay Mariotti, Making Children Cry
Jay the Joker one-ups Woody Paige with a human prop. The baby's tears represent America, except America would have tried to poop on him. [H/T reader Dan]...

Pirates Try To Give Seats Away, Fail Miserably
In anticipation of low ticket sales for the Nationals' visit, Pittsburgh tried out an innovative promotion that could have made winners of everyone. They made the mistake of tying the promotion to their success on the field....

Japan Learns How To Lose From Notre Dame
Lou Holtz coached up the Fighting Irish and, afterward, a losing coach bemoaned a moral victory, so Saturday's college football exhibition was just like any other. Except Notre Dame won. And the game was in Japan....

Drew Bennett's Glorious Two-Day Run With The Ravens
On Friday, wide receiver Drew Bennett was healthy, rested and ready to play. So Baltimore gave him a one-year contract. Then he woke up on Sunday with a sore knee, so he retired. Didn't the Ravens call no takebacks?...

Christine Brennan Continues Her Erin Andrews Smarm Offensive
USA Today's Christine Brennan went on Howard Kurtz's unctuous TV show yesterday and explained away her underminey Erin Andrews comments, emphasizing that she has "always been concerned about Erin" and somehow outstripping all her male colleagues in patrician superciliousness....

Recruiting Information Wants To Be Free
It's hard to determine which end of the recruiting process is more corrupt. In one corner are the coaches who feed egos to drive theirs; in the other are the AAU type who extort high schoolers' phone numbers for cash....

Tigers Manager Bears Strong Resemblance To Average Tigers Fan
It would appear that Jim Leyland has a body double in Detroit, but then, any middle-aged, gray-haired dude with sunlasses, a Tigers hat and a mustache will probably end up looking like Jim Leyland. [Detroit 4 Lyfe]...

I Saw Mommy Kissing Mommy
It's a busy time in our nation's capital these days, and there are some burning questions that need answering. Like, "Why don't they have a KissCam at Mystics games?"...

Plaxico Burress Should Get Used To Confined Spaces
Manhattan's District Attorney says any plea deal with Plaxico Burress (remember that hilarious gun accident?) will involve jail time. (And Antonio Pierce isn't off the hook either.) It's almost like they're mad at him for breaking the law! [NY Post]...

And Now For A Minute Of Actual Sports
Roy Halladay is not a member of the Phillies ... yet. The Toronto Blue Jays' demands of executive bathroom privileges proved too steep for the Philadelphia bigwigs....

Turn Your Child Into A Sabermetric Nerd This Summer
One way you can prevent summer delinquency? "Help children track scores and favorite players' statistics." For a cookie as a reward, have them explain EqA to you. [KPHL]...

Nate Montana Finds Better Football Situation Than Notre Dame
Joe Montana's son has seen Rudy. He knows how this works. First you go to junior college, THEN you try out for Notre Dame....

Take a Survey, Enter to Win the Chance to Rock Out
Summer's here, folks. Take this survey, email the last question to [email protected] to get registered to win a $150 Ticketmaster gift card. (Sorry, you've missed Bernie Williams' jazz guitar stylings. (Try to stop crying long enough to check out the Standard Contest Rules.)...

Hopefully The Wilpons Have Extra Chairs
Mets fans are sick and tired of being sick and tired. The team is playing like balls. They're gonna do something about it ... bug the executives!...

Yankees And Patriots Are Selling Fake Jerseys
Okay, not the sports teams, but the more accurately described group — our soldiers — are being accused of buying fake memorabilia in Korea and reselling them....

Steve Spurrier Apologizes For Not Genuflecting To The Tebow
SEC coaches and journalists spent maybe six hours of the conference's three-day media tugjob fretting over the vicious bastard who didn't pick Tim Tebow as No. 1 Super QB of the year. All because Steve Spurrier can't read....
