ti Page 1786 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

And Now Let's End The Day With Michael Jordan And A Giant Inflatable Penis
I hope this post does not objectify Michael Jordan. The man can't help it if he's sexy. He just saunters his fine-ass around the golf course and people have normal, healthy reactions in his presence. Some people just go overboard....

Sometimes This World Is A Horrible Place To Live
ESPN's official comment on the Erin Andrews situation is this: "Erin has been grievously wronged here. Our people and resources are in full support of her as she deals with this abhorrent act." Mine is after the jump....

Open Caption: Yep, That's An Oscar Mayer Wiener
"An Oscar Meyer Wienermobile crashed into the home and outdoor deck. The vehicle was parked in the driveway. The driver lurched the vehicle forward instead of backing out of the driveway, hitting the deck and cracking the house's foundation." [Strib]...

Want A NASCAR Press Pass? Start A Blog!
Welcome to the world of the media elite, you so-called NASCAR Citizen Journalists Media Group. No cheering in the press box, no asking for autographs, no photos with the drivers, and be careful around the professionals. They might bite....

Mutton Wins Again
Is there a bigger mismatch out there than little children vs. surly mutton? Seriously. They're like the Washington Generals on sheepback. Look, kids. Hang it up. You just aren't going to ride that mutton....

I'd Rather Tweet With The Saints
It was only a matter of time before a minor league baseball team whipped up a social networking promotion, and when charged with creating a snappy name for the event, why not go with Twitter-My-Face?...

Why Your Stadium Sucks: Busch Stadium
This is a weekly feature in which I (and maybe you, too, readers) detail the various reasons for hating your ballpark. This week: The St. Louis Cardinals' Busch Stadium....

Tiger Woods To Miss The Cut At British Open
Woods had two double bogeys on the back nine to finish +5, but the projected cut is 4-over. Only his second missed cut at major since turning pro. Old Tom Watson somehow still tied for the lead. [Open Championship]...

And Now… Stars Who Could Have Used Helmets As Babies
If you're a parent, you know about the phenomenon known as Flat Head Syndrome, where a baby's head gets too flat in the back and they need to wear a helmet to correct it....

Angry Scotsmen Overshadow Actual Golf At British Open
We've got all eyes on Tiger and a 17-year-old phenom, and we've got Tom Watson nearly shooting his age. But what the British Open really needed was a good catfight....

In Which We Attempt To Translate British Journalism
If the English language isn't yet universal, then the verse of sports should be. I've never understood, then, why it is that I can't comprehend a word of 19th-century British newspapers....

Ichiro Creeps Out Newest Tickle Buddy
Ichiro was stereotyped as a meticulous robot, but would a cyborg tell Jason Bay, in Japanese, that he was going to "mess with your house"? Bay's response: "I didn't know what to say. It was weird." Safe word! [WEEI]...

Jeff Garlin: “This Is The Longest Rape Has Ever Been A Topic For Anything I’ve Ever Discussed”
This week's Deadcast guest is "Curb Your Enthusiasm" co-star and producer Jeff Garlin (Listen here, iTunes here, buy Jeff's standup DVD here). We talk rape! Far more than Jeff prefers!...

Rick Pitino Didn't Do That Thing Karen Sypher Said He Did, Probably
Louisville police will not prosecute Rick Pitino for whatever it is Karen Sypher allegedly tried to blackmail him with. So I guess we'll never get a steamy "Law & Order"-style courtroom drama starring the saucy Cardinals coach....

Tom Watson And His New Eyes Take Early Lead At British Open
Watson shot a 65 in the first round. Others in contention include Mark O'Meara and Mark Calcavecchia. No, you didn't accidentally get sucked into a wormhole. [Fanhouse]...

Jeremy Mayfield Fails Meth Test (Not A Deadspin Classic Post)
NASCAR has been looking for something, anything to get a judge to reinstate Jeremy Mayfield's ban after testing positive for meth. Perhaps testing positive for it again last week will do the trick....

Fox's Marketing Ploy May Have Been More Evil Than Previously Thought
It's bad enough that stupid Yuppie Gollum was nothing but a promotional stunt, but this is so much worse: A reader reports that Yuppie Gollum wasn't even at the All-Star Game. I'll let that sink in....

Back And To The Far Right: A Different View Of Obama's First Pitch
The National Review's Andy McCarthy summons the ghost of Jim Garrison. You know you're in for a treat when the bizarre claim that "the sports press is among the media's leftiest precincts" is the sanest thing in here. [NRO]...

Fixing The President's Throwing Motion
As you know, our commander-in-chief took the mound last night and did an excellent impression of a man trying to throw a party balloon. I asked some experts to evaluate Obama's mechanics and explain just what needed to be fixed....

Dear You, Tell Us More About Yourself...
...by completing this fun-filled survey all about YOU. Send the last question to [email protected], thereby entering yourself to win a $300 AMEX gift card. Then we'll take a long walk on the beach together, planning our future while the surf gently laps at our toes. Love, Gawker. [Contest rules app...