ti Page 1798 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Aw, Man...That's My Dad
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...
Why Rick Porcello Matters
Rick Porcello won his fifth straight start yesterday, which ensured the 20-year-old a long season of being inaptly compared to Doc Gooden. He'll probably finish the year reminding everyone of Zach Duke instead, but there's a reason to hope he doesn't, and it has to do with the amateur draft....
Derrick Rose Needed A Lot Of Help Getting Into College
One day after being (sorta) implicated in an academic scandal at the University of Memphis, a new report claims that Derrick Rose may have had his high school grades changed in order to fool colleges that he was applying to. Didn't this guy do any of his own homework?...
The Coolest Kids At The National Spelling Bee
The Scripps National Spelling Bee is going primetime tonight, but if you weren't in front of a TV this afternoon then you missed out on the drama, the haircuts, and the soul crushing tween angst that makes competitive spelling such a riveting spectator sport....
Clemson Decides That They Should Use Their Pretty Athletic Girls For As Many Things As Possible
Internet meet Kat Majester. Clemson cheerleader, champion pole vaulter, lover of thigh-baring uniforms and seductive leaps. She's apparently worthy of an 18-page photo gallery in the local newspaper. For her athleticism, of course. [Greenville Online]...
Memphis Accused Of "Major" Recruiting Violation
Hey, John Calapari! I know you were very eager to pack up your stuff and get down to your new, better gig at Kentucky, but I think that in your haste you may have left something behind in Memphis. An NCAA investigation into a fraudulent SAT test!...
Old Man At The Lakers Game Continues To Let Everyone Know They've Failed
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Only The British Can Make Soccer Sound Like Fellatio
The Guardian, liveblogging Barca-Man U: "Stroke … pass … triangle … slide-rule pass … back-heel … tip … tap … slide-rule pass … neat triangle … neat triangle … neat triangle … through-ball … languid stroke … flick … trap … deft touch … chest … clatter … hoof." [Guardian]...
Jets Sued For Manipulating Ticket Prices By Men Who Wanted Jets Tickets, For Some Reason
Three men are suing the Jets for manipulating seat-license prices in an auction. The plaintiffs would have an excellent case, I think, if their judgment and credibility weren't immediately called into question by the fact that they were trying to buy Jets seat licenses. In an auction....
Scientists: Barry Zito Is An Optical Illusion
Next time you whiff on a curveball, blame it on your brain. Visual scientists recently applied the functions of foveal and peripheral vision to baseball, proving the curveball's sudden and severe "break" is a trick of the eyes. The graphic will occupy you for hours. Plus, it's science. [Illusion Sci...
Winner Winner, Shake Shack Dinner
Getcher steak sandwiches, red-hot steak sandwiches! And sushi, creamy fried flounder, grilled shrimp po' boys, lobster rolls and clam chowder — all at Yankee Stadium and Citi Field. Frank Bruni gives the culinary edge to Citi, partly because Steinbrenner and Co. offer Johnny Rockets instead of Shake...
'Whole Lot Of People Puckered Up' After Florida Steroid Bust, Says Comical Backwoods Sheriff
What happens when you mix steroid hysteria with two self-aggrandizing backwoods halfwits on either side of the law? This: "What investigators aren't sure of is whether Richard Thomas, 35, is telling the truth when he said ... he sold mostly to professional athletes," specifically those on the Capita...
College Kid Sleeps On Toilet Before Amazing Runs
College student Justin Weber didn't have a hotel room the night before running a big ten-mile race, so he slept in a port-a-john. Then he won the race in the morning. I don't know about you, but I think that story is a bunch of crap. [The Jock Itch]...
Tim Tebow Turns Away Hotter Stuff Than You Can Dream Of
Percy Harvin, presented without comment: "If I could trade places for a day with anyone: Tim Tebow....We saw all kind of actors and news reporters just kind of blatantly say, "Tebow, I want you." And he turned them down. I'm looking at him, like, "Man, you are crazy." [Pioneer Press]...
Michael Jordan Loves Chicago Almost As Much As He Loves Nike
An animatronic Jordan doll donned a Blackhawks jersey at the United Center this weekend, to show his support for the "hometown" boys—but not before he had team officials sew a red patch over the Reebok logo. Nothing to see here, Mr. Knight! [Puck Daddy]...
One-Handed Baller Nabs His Scholarship
Turns out, being a 6-foot-10 center was more important than having a full left arm for Kevin Laue, the subject of a New York Times profile and the recent recipient of a scholarship to play basketball for Manhattan College. How did Manhattan's coaches discover Laue? The Times' story, naturally. [NYT]...
The Nationals Are A Memorial To Failure
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The Sports Fella's Dream Is Dead
Minnesota picks ex-Pacers GM David Kahn to run their basketball operations. "I promise that nobody will outwork or outthink us as we build one of the best front offices in the league and a team that begins a climb to the top." They should put that on a plaque. [NBA.com]...
Who Is Tiger's Turtle?
"The modern player's payroll invariably includes an agent, a caddie, a financial adviser and a swing instructor.... Agent Dennis Harrington predicts that gentlemen's gentlemen — valets — will be the next big thing." John Daly's not sold. [GolfWorld, Style Points]...
Forget Everything You've Ever Known About Eating Competitions
Introducing the Doughman quadrathalon relay: Crab and bacon mac and cheese; fried green tomato sandwich; bacon cheeseburger with chili; candied bacon, strawberry shortcake, chocolate cupcakes. Plus, biking, running and swimming. Don't forget to wear your helmets, and vomiting is "strictly discourage...