ti Page 1808 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

The Phillies Dedicate The Pre-Game Smoke To Harry The K
At least, I hope that's the case. Phillies are playing Nationals right now with heavy hearts, wheezing lungs. [Player Hater's Ball]...

Door-On-Player Violence Is Not A Joke
Cincy OF Chris Dickerson is day-to-day after getting beat up by a revolving door. This wouldn't happen if you knew how to mind your place. [MLB.com, via Big Lead]...

Miami Feels The Pain That Will Last A Lifetime
In the annals of gut-wrenching defeats, you're going to have to dig deep to find one tougher than Miami's collapse against Boston in the NCAA hockey final on Sunday....

The Cavaliers Seem Pretty Happy With Themselves Right Now
If the NBA were a horrible Michael Bay movie, this is the part where the bad guy would mutter "I fear we've awakened a sleeping giant." Then a Boston Celtics flag would flutter in slow-motion.*...

The Woodland People vs. Dustin Pedroia
Last week Deadspin quicklinked to a Boston magazine profile of the Red Sox second baseman, where he characterized A-Rod as a dork and called his hometown of Woodland, California a “dump.” The Woodlandians aren’t happy....

Defeated Soccer Team Welcomed Home With Cheers, Death Threats
This Argentine squad arrived at their home airport after a rough 2-0 defeat to a Mexican team that knocked them out of a major international tournament, a loss so crushing that their manager resigned after the game. It was such a tough road environment that fans at the game in Mexico were chanting d...

Tiger Woods Somehow Not Winning Tiger Woods Invitational
Experts predict that Tigers Woods will use the third round of his major tournament to make a move on whatever golfers might be leading, setting himself up for a dramatic come-from-behind victory on Sunday....

Time To Get Your Chicago Pants Party Tickets
The final deadline to purchase tickets for Deadspin's Chicago Pants Party on May 23 is next Friday. If you've been procrastinating, it's time to buy. Follow the link for details and tickets. [Pants Party Details]...

Sponsor Shout-out
Thanks to this week's sponsors: The Cougar on TV Land, Crunch Fitness, Orzel Vodka, Virgin Atlantic. To become an advertiser, click here....

Your Team Is A Fan Of Being On Probation
Please don't take any "What cast member of 'Saved By The Bell' is your 4-star basketball recruit?" quizzes on Facebook, unless you want your program to get slapped with an NCAA violation for being dumb....

All New TV Series Should Include Bobby Knight Posters
Ken Tremendous, aka Michael Schur, may have a hit on his hands with Parks and Recreation, the new series that debuted last night on NBC. How can it fail with scenes like this? [Mouthpiece Sports]...

A Most Distressing Video: Joe Martinez Takes Line Drive Off The Head
This is not the kind of thing that people wanted to see in the wake of the tragic Nick Adenhart accident. That was one brutal line drive....

He Obviously Ate The Cheez Doodles First
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...

High School Basketball Without The High Schools
Sports Illustrated has a very curious story this week about Findlay Prep, the team that won ESPN's inaugrual RISE National High School Invitational tournament last weekend. There's just one issue—Findlay Prep is not a high school....

Time Running Out To Bid On Bernie Madoff's Mets Tickets
Bernie Madoff's Opening Day Mets tickets are now on sale. Don't worry; nine innings with the San Diego Padres will only seem like a prison sentence....

The 'Boo Teixeira' Movement Seems To Be Losing Steam
And so we have an early indication of why Mark Teixeira chose the Yankees over the Orioles this offseason. Game 3 of the series today at Camden Yards: Good seats still available....

UNC Student Burned But Proud
As we learned in Lord of the Flies, dancing near bonfires often leads to the collapse of the social structure, and on occasion a trip to the North Carolina Jaycee Burn Center....

Nothing Says Quality Like John Daly Merchandise Purchased From A Bus
John Daly may not be allowed to play in The Masters, but that doesn't mean he can't still profit. May he interest you in some slacks?...

Michael Phelps Is Enjoying His Swimming Exile
What's a famously rich, famously awkward swimming champion to do, when he's banned from the pool for too much outrageous behavior? Horrifying clubgoers with drunken makeout sessions is a good place to start....

This Is How Skip Bayless Keeps His Mouth In Shape
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...