ti Page 1811 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Calipari Watch, Day 2: Pretty Blonde Reporter Is Latest Victim Of The Madness
A Deadpsin operative checked into "Door Watch '09" last night to find that the Memphis Athletic Department had been replaced by an adorable blonde reporter. You can imagine how the comment horde dealt with that....

Kevin Garnett Gets A Long Spring Break
Celtics will "shut down" their hobbled big man until his knee gets better. Don't expect to see Garnett play again until it's time for the playoffs.Why not just shut down all their starters? [SI/AP]...

This Lucky Lady Might Be The Person Riding In Tim Tebow's Sidecar
But who knows! Is she just an amorous fan? A waitress? A cousin? A young woman in need of a circumcision? It's a mystery that's sure to cause Gainesville's single ladies to hyperventilate. [TheBigLead]...

Tigers Don't Need Gary Sheffield After All
Detroit has dumped their $14 million DH with 499 career home runs. Oh, don't worry ... he gets to keep the money! [MLB; But The Game Is On]...

D Train Goes Slightly Off The Tracks
The Tigers got clearance from the commissioner's office to put Dontrelle Willis on the DL with an anxiety disorder on Sunday. I thought only Tigers fans got those....

Orioles' Radio Station Turns Rain-Delay Into "Canceled" Game
Fans in Baltimore waiting for the Orioles game to resume yesterday after a 90-minute rain delay may have been confused when the game resumed, but the radio crew calling the action was nowhere to be found....

Tiger Woods Now Fully Armed And Operational
GolfBot 5000 birdied 18 to complete a five-stroke comeback and destroy yet another helpless victim yesterday at Bay Hill. Golf was fun while it lasted, huh, folks? [Los Angeles Times]...

Who's Sorry Now? Dallas Cop Apologizes For Moats Stop
Officer Robert Powell, who stopped Ryan Moats from seeing his dying mother-in-law during a traffic stop on March 18, has gone into full 'save-my-job' mode, apologizing in a letter through his attorney. [CBS Sports]...

MLB 2k9 Trivia Contest, Win the Game!
Answer this ridiculously easy question, and we'll send one lucky reader a copy of MLB 2k9 for whatever platform you'd like. The question is: Who is on the cover of MLB 2k9? Email your answer to [email protected] to enter. Standard contest rules apply, deadline is Monday at 6pm EST....

The One Where The Yapping Hand Job Picks A Scab (Update)
We get a massive amount of tips in our inbox each week. Some are pretty interesting, but don't get published for one reason or another....

More Thinking Outside The Box From The NFL Meetings
The NFL "is exploring the possibility of having sponsor logos worn unobtrusively on practice jerseys." For the Bengals I suggest Chico's Bail Bonds. [USA Today]...

Darren Rovell Vs. The Fifth Third Burger
If that burger had a mouth, it could totally eat him in two bites.Click for the video and watch him eat it in front of Jim Cramer. [CNBC]...

And Here's Your Sweet Sixteen Duan: Talk About The Games, Life, Your Unemployment, The Sexual Inadequacy Of Your Current Girlfriend...
I typed in many variations of "sixteen" and "sweet sixteen" and either candles or Miley Cyrus popped up. Or some DJ entertainment companies. I went with Miley....

Gentle, Velvety Hammer Of Justice Falls In Miguel Tejada Steroids Case
Astros star gets one year's probation, $5,000 fine for "misleading congress." Wait a minute; don't they do that to each other every minute they're in session? [San Francisco Chronicle]...

Use All Of These You Want, You're Not Going To Help Sabathia
As is befitting a team with a mascot named Thunder, the Lake Elsinore Storm (Class A, California League) is giving out free samples of Subtle Butt anti-fart shields at their weekly all-you-can-eat Tuesday home games....

Rumors Of Isiah Thomas To Clippers' Front Office Send NASDAQ Plummeting Record 230 Points
Isiah Thomas, seeking a front-office job, has talked with Clippers owner Donald Sterling several times; most recently last month. I see no way such a thing can possibly fail. [ESPN]...

NCAA Sweet 16: (2) Memphis vs. (3) Missouri
West Region: No. 2 Memphis (33-3) vs. No. 3 Missouri (30-6) When: Thursday, 9:37 p.m., EDT Where: University of Phoenix Stadium, Glendale, Arizona MEMPHIS TIGERS 1) Crack open those history books Although the casual college basketball fan knows Memphis for their recent run of Elite 8 appearances (...

'Good Season, Girls; Here Are Some Photos Of My Junk'
It's getting so that you can't swing a dead possum around here without hitting another story about a coach or player texting something naughty. Today: Volleyball coaches gone bad....

Schilling Finally Talks About His Retirement ... On A Video Game Site
Pitcher waited for Game Developers Conference in San Francisco to announce his decision, because he didn't want to deal with "the phone ringing off the hook. It was just a natural fit." [Sports Radio Interviews.com]...
