ti Page 1841 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Today's NFL Season Recap: The Dallas Cowboys
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If You Don't Cook Brats, The Terrorists Win
As mentioned, we're heading to Glendale for the Super Bowl this year — yes, yes, book promotion — and we were looking forward to walking around some of the tailgates beforehand on Super Sunday. But we'd forgotten: They don't allow tailgates at the Super Bowl. A travesty, and now some people are tryi...

ESPN's Featured Comment Of The Day
ESPN scoured its message boards this morning to find its wittiest, boldest, most enlightening comment, and chose this one above all others ......

EVERYTHING HE PUNDITS IS IMPORTANT
For the second time in just more than a week, Stephen A. Smith appeared on Chris Matthews' "Hardball" last night. It makes perfect sense, so much so that we wonder if Smith is employed by the wrong channel....

Fire Up That Celtics Hype Machine Again
The NBA Closer is written by our Canadian weekend maestro J.E. Skeets. When he's not busy scouring the box scores or partying with Corey Worthington, he can be heard on The Basketball Jones daily podcast....

One Man's TV Nightmare Is Another's Comedy Gold
Of course, when you're struggling like this, it's always helpful to have a couple of smart-ass girls in the studio mocking you relentlessly....

ESPN's Featured Comment Of The Day
ESPN combed its message boards this morning to find its wittiest, boldest, most enlightening comment, and chose this one above all others ......

Work For The Knicks, In The Worst Capacity Imaginable
You know what would be a great job? Being the guy who has to clean up all of Isiah Thomas' messes, and then try to explain them away to a growling, surly New York media. That's exactly what we told our mom we wanted to be when we grew up....


Prepare Thyself For ... Pac Man Jones Strip Club News
OK, now we hope you are sitting down. Take a drink of water. Relax. Deep breaths. OK. Are you ready? Are you really ready? Because you're gonna need some time to digest this one: Pac Man Jones is in trouble with the law again....

About Last Night
What you missed while talking like Jack Bauer ... • College basketball: Despite missing injured starters Levance Fields, Mike Cook, Ladainian Tomlinson and Philip Rivers, No. 15 Pitt still beats No. 5 Georgetown, 69-60. • NBA: Kobe scores 48, not counting Alaska and Hawaii, as Lakers beat SuperSonic...

Snorgtees Girl Likes The Braves, Gets Paid Zilch
We've known the identity of the Snorg T-shirt girl for quite awhile now, of course; Alice Fraasa, 19, attends Auburn, where she majors in communication. Loves the Atlanta Braves, Harry Potter, and is an atheist. But what I didn't know is how much money she rakes in. The Snorgtees ads that feature he...

All Hail The Loathsome Ronaldo
David Hirshey writes regularly for Deadspin about soccer....

Get A Job With ESPN Through The Comments
So you know how pretty much every page on ESPN.com has a "conversation" element anymore? (Except, of course, for Simmons' columns. But that's probably your/our/all-of-our fault. Sorry.) Well, that includes the ESPN Job Postings page, which leads to some awfully amusing comments....

Not Even Zook Can Help The Illini
Jonah Keri writes the college basketball closer (more or less) daily. E-mail your questions, comments or Clarence Ceasar-related memories to [email protected]....

The Crying Game
There are times when you expect a grown man to cry; like when they confiscated all of Bluto’s booze in Animal House. But this is kind of weird. Watch here as Terrell Owens weeps openly during Sunday’s post-game press conference, all because the mean media types have been picking on Tony Romo....

The NFL Playoffs Should Do, But Just In Case...
Truth be told, yesterday's playoff games had some exciting moments, but all of them occurred in the first halves. If these two games today continue that trend, we might be searching for something else to occupy our Sundays. Your other option is to play ActRaiser for the Super Nintendo....

Celtics Begin To Develop A Cellulite Problem
Know how supermodels stay thin? By being called fat at 110 pounds. It's the only way they'll learn. Judge them. Cut them down. You really want a thin slice of carrot cake? Because that dress you love doesn't come in fat cow size....

About Last Night
What you missed while live blogging football, for reasons no longer understood ... • NCAA Basketball: Even Michigan State's football team could score more than 36 against Iowa. • NHL: Senators filed motion to beat Detroit; motion passed 3-2. • NFL: Falcons about to hire non-sockpuppet general manage...

Who Are We? "The Blues!" Who Are We Gonna Beat? "The Blues!"
There doesn't seem to be a bevy of interesting games — even for soccer fans! — save for one game, Man City and Everton. They're separated by a mere three points at the top of the standings "tables," and Man City hasn't lost a game "match" to anyone recently except Tottenham. That kind of consistency...