ti Page 1842 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
It Is Time, Once Again, To Wank For A Cause
It's the news you dared not hope was true: Nearly 10 years after it was introduced in San Francisco, the Masturbate-A-Thon is making its triumphant return. To The Netherlands! What took you so long, Dutch people? (Carl Monday dons raincoat, sounds the Action 4 News Team alert). Oh, like you had anyt...
The Burnley Bee Will Not Tolerate Nakedness
Look, from now on, when a costumed bee tackles a naked man during an English League soccer match — and then does about a half-hour Bee Victory Dance to celebrate the feat — I want to be informed immediately. I'm just seeing this now? Inexcusable. Hirshey, or someone, will pay. Now, on with the show....
Upset In Beantown
The NBA Closer is written by our Canadian weekend maestro J.E. Skeets. When he's not busy scouring the box scores or voting Benson '08, he can be heard on The Basketball Jones daily podcast....
The Finnish Love Scottie Pippen
His team is Helsinki ToPo, and with Pippen, the ToPos are 2-0. Pippen is averaging 10.5 pts and 8 boards in 26 minutes. But his game has changed a bit; he chucked up 16 3-pointers in those games, hitting only two. He shoots like MJ's kid now!...
Tiger Victim's NFL Allegiance Revealed
Continuing the long tradition of people who have been laid to rest while wearing the gear of their favorite NFL team, that guy who was killed by the tiger at the San Francisco Zoo was sent to his great reward on Tuesday while wearing a ... you guessed it ... Oakland Raiders jersey. No word on what j...
Political Experts Aren't Any Better Than Sports Experts
We stayed up late last night watching the election returns last night with far more vigor and intensity than we watched the BCS Championship Game on Monday night. Sure, we might have had more personally at stake in this one, but that's not the real reason we were so compelled. We were amazed because...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch as you demand a recount in the Greatest Will Of All Time voting ... • College basketball: Indiana at Michigan (7 p.m., ET); Florida at Alabama (9 p.m., ET) [ESPN]. Roll out the Big Ten goodness. • College basketball: Wichita State at Missouri State. (7 p.m., ET). Don't Shock me, bro. [...
Ohio State Cheaux (Again)
Dan Shanoff, college football columnist for Deadspin, reflects on LSU's big win over Ohio State last night in the BCS championship game. Email him to let him know what you think....
BCS Blogdome
What they're saying out in the ether about LSU's 38-24 win over Ohio State in the BCS Championship Game ......
If Someone Had To Be Called "Champ," Might As Well Be LSU
We hope LSU fans do not take it as an insult that hardly anyone considers their title legitimate; every season has to crown one champion, however the champion is crowned, and LSU is fortunate enough to be that team. More power to them; they deserve it, we supposed. But let's skip the charade....
Finally Time To Put The College Football Season To Rest
OK, we are finally here. The college football season, at last, ends tonight in New Orleans. You know it's an important game in a SERIOUS locale, because they've put the cheerleaders to work. It's Ohio State vs. LSU, for something weird thing we're calling a "national championship." Or something. En...
Jessica Simpson Is Officially The Yoko Ono Of Sports
First of all, this post makes me feel dirty; Pat O'Brien dirty. And we did talk about it over the weekend, so perhaps you could skip the whole thing? No? Read on then....
Where In The World Is Jose Lima?
This is a sad thing for us all to come to terms with, but Jose Lima — along with his, uh, ample wife — is not going to be in the majors next season. But worry not: There's always Korea....
LSU Will Also Beat Your Ass At Tetris
The day will surely come, my friend, when football will exist only in The Matrix. Why should humans risk serious injury and National Anthems by the Oak Ridge Boys when we can play the whole damn game on an Xbox? We're a step closer to that already, as LSU has revealed that its quarterbacks — Matt Fl...
Chargers vs. Titans, Second Half and Goodnight
It's been a while since I last checked in, but it's still the same football game. We're well into the third quarter of the final game of Wild Card Weekend '08 Bukkake and this game is dragging along with a score of 6-3. Tennessee is winning, Floats (pictured) i really crappy, and LaDainian is still...
Chargers vs. Titans, This Time It's For Real
You thought Philip Rivers was needlessly cocky before? Well it's playoff time baby, time to step up the douche! The real key is to see just how close Norv Turner can keep this thing. Nobody holds back a dynamic team in the playoffs like Norv Turner! Enjoy, and stay tuned after the jump......