ti Page 1847 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

To Watch Tonight
What to watch after telling the World's Oldest Joke and still getting a laugh ... • Basketball: U.S. men's national team vs. Turkey, at Macau (5 p.m., ET, taped). May involve an actual turkey. [ESPN2] • Extreme sports: X Games, at Los Angeles (9 p.m., ET). I'll be blowin' you up as soon as I buy som...

College Recruiting Budgets Are As Out of Control as Coaching Salaries
Yet no one mentions how rapidly the cost of competing for top talent is rising. Until, that is, the Chronicle of Higher Education issued this report dated August 1. The key finding is that almost half of colleges doubled or tripled the amount of money they spent on recruiting in the last decade. In ...

Gourmet Spud's Thursday Afternoon CFL D###-Joke Free Jambor-eh
Drew Magary is off this week on a well-deserved, court-ordered "vacation". Filling in for Deadspin's juggernaut featured columnist is Gourmet "Who?" Spud, one of Deadspin's new weekend swing editors, a frequent commentor, and 1/4 of the team over at Food Court Lunch. He also helped your grandmother...

Tim Donaghy Gets 15 Months in Jail
Which was roughly in the middle of the 33 month sentence he could have received from Judge Carol Bagley Amon. Even still Donaghy's time in prison is longer than most legal experts anticipated he would receive given his cooperation with federal authorities. Generally courts are more lenient in situa...

Brad Ziegler's Goofy-Assed Delivery Unhittable So Far
Finally, there's hope for Barry Zito. First, you need to sustain a couple of concussions ... look, it's complicated. But the upshot is that you change to a sidearm delivery. Then you, like the Oakland Athletics' Brad Ziegler, might one day break the major league record for consecutive scoreless inni...

Todd Jones Might Be Menopausal
The Detroit Tigers, in a desperate attempt to stay competitive in the American League Central, decided that struggling closer Todd Jones needed to be replaced. Jones has surrendered 10 runs in his last 10 1/3 innings and was finally getting hit around the way you'd expect the 40-year-old finesse pit...

LeBron Raymone James Donates $20k to Barack Obama's Presidential Campaign
Actually to a committee dedicated to electing Obama since personal contributions are capped at $2,300 per election. Early in his career as pitchman for the Gods, Michael Jordan remarked, "Republicans buy sneakers too," when Harvey Gantt's senate campaign requested he donate money. Gantt was then em...

Ken Griffey, Jr. Tosses Throat Slash To Jeff Brantley
We've officially seen everything now. Griffey was evidently upset by comments Reds announcer Jeff Brantley made regarding his contract. Why after twenty years of relative peace, Griffey is breaking out late 90's football moves to make his points is anyone's guess. I guess he could do the Icky Shuff...

His Worst Scars Will Be Psychological, Of Course
I'm no rodeo expert, but I'm pretty sure this kid isn't doing it right. But such is life in the breakneck world of mutton busting; sometimes you ride the mutton, and sometimes the mutton rides you. Yes, mutton busting ... because in the old west, it was so important to break the wild sheep herds tha...

Looking for Why Gators Are Dominant? It Starts In Erin Andrews' Bed
Because, you see, the team is successful because Erin has realized that if she strips the bed of all pillows and comforters then good things happen. And occasionally, for superstitious reasons, she has the other girls over for sex-toy slumber parties and they exchange lingerie tips and...this is to...

Bush Thanks Gonzalez On Behalf Of Chokers Everywhere
Ever since Tony Gonzalez saved a choking man with the Heimlich maneuver earlier this month he's received praise fom all over, but hearing from President George W. Bush was probably an unexpected turn of events. The Chiefs tight end not only received a letter from the Commander In Chief, but also a ...

Will Ohman Has A Little Will Ferrell In Him
Will Ohman has been a solid reliever for the Braves this year, but this is certainly the first time I've ever taken notice of the veteran. Any jackass can pull off a half-decent Christopher Walken, but getting in the head of Harry Caray is a truly noble pursuit. Thanks to the 700 Level for the vid...

Giuliani's Mom Questions Coach's Judgment
Apparently once you decide to procreate with Rudy Giuliani you become some sort of arbiter of quality judgment. The New York Daily News is reporting that the Giuliani camp will use a 2004 picture from a Golf Digest photo shoot from Duke's O.D. Vincent's days at UCLA to display the coach's history p...

One week after hiring Drew Rosenhaus Lito Sheppard told the Philadelphia media that the Eagles are showing him "a little 'disappreciation,' so to say." When reached for comment, ESPN NFL analyst Emmitt Smith said, "I know exactly where Lito is coming from, people are always disappreaciating me when ...

What Do You Mean My Buds Don't Play? Deal the Damn Cards!
Was that wrong? Should I not have done that? I tell you, I gotta plead ignorance on this thing, because if anyone had said anything to me at all when I first started here that that sort of thing is frowned upon... you know, cause I've played in a lot of casinos, and I tell you, people do that all ...

Introducing Deadspin Nation's Oleo Hero Of The Week
In some countries, ridiculous and unseemly behavior is punishable by deportation, imprisonment or even death. But in Deadspin Nation, one is simply singled out for ridicule ... then deported, imprisoned or killed. And since this is a democracy, our citizens get to choose. Each Friday, "Deadspin Nati...

Favre Might Ruin The Rest Of His Legacy As A New York Jet
Surprise. The latest rumor percolating in the the Brett Favre douchepot has the New York Jets front-runners to land the malcontent quarterback's services. According to Chris Mortensen, the Jets have asked for permission to talk to Favre once Favre's reinstatement is complete. The Bucs, the front-run...

Mayhem In The Midwest League
As you probably saw in our morning wakeup video whachamahoozit, the Peoria Chiefs and Dayton Dragons engaged in a pretty nasty brawl at Dayton's Fifth Third Park on Thursday, which even included a civilian casualty. Peoria pitcher Julio Castillo threw a ball at a Dayton player in the dugout, but mis...

Just Because Justin Gimelstob Doesn't Like Her, It Doesn't Mean He Can't Stare Intently
Here's a photo from Down The Line that shows Washington Kastles hard-on Justin Gimbelstob admiring Anna Kournikova's newly-inflated kaploogas at a recent World Team Tennis match in Washington D.C. Gimbelstob, as you may remember, not-so-famously said that Kournikova was a "bitch" and that he "despis...

Sklar Bros. Give Deadspin Exclusive Look At New Topps Web Series
Leif and Leyland Topps are just twin brothers trying to get ahead in the rickety, unpredictable world of the sports card business, with a boss who doesn't like them, a Steinbrenneresque CEO and enough half-baked ideas to get them into consistent trouble. Sound familiar? Anyway, it's the basis for th...