ti Page 1859 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Noun. 1.) A Generalized Loss Of Feeling In The Testicles 2.) Roger Clemens
With Erin Andrews frolicking around backstage, who could blame eventual grand champion of the spelling world Sameer Mishra to let loose a little Freudian slip? How else is he supposed to sublimate that sexual energy? Rub your finger on your hand any harder and it's playing with yourself....

Beat L.A.! Beat L.A.! Beat L.A.! (Yes. Boston Is Going To The NBA Finals.)
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who has a funny feeling the Spurs aren't going to repeat this year. When he's not stating the glaringly obvious, he can be found mocking someone or something at Basketbawful. Enjoy!...

NBA Playoffs: Celtics-Pistons, Game 6
Basketbawful has broken out the highest quality Wiccan spell components - coffin nails, dead sea salt, glory water, graveyard dirt, and a very phallic ritual candle - to uncover the darkest mysteries of tonight's NBA playoff game....

Red Auerbach, Early Anti-Flopping Advocate
Big kudos to Bullets Forever for discovering this suddenly topical clip of Red Auerbach extolling the evils of flopping. You tell 'em, Red....

Frank Deford Still Loves The Game
If you - or your "client" - would like to be included in an upcoming "Interviews Of A Lifetime", please contact either myself or Deadspin HQ for inquiries....

Vince Young In Dire Need Of Media Training
Vince Young should probably just take a vow of silence or hire a full-time transcriber to follow him around when he's talking to the media, because it appears he's having trouble translating his own words. Last week, Young apparently told NFL.com writer Thomas George that he was considering retirem...

Media Approval Ratings: Colin Cowherd
We vowed once never to mention Mr. "Schrutebag" on the site again, but these are the Media Approval Ratings, and we must be comprehensive. So therefore, with nose held:...

When Did Fernando Tatis Come Back?
Forgive us here, but we couldn't help but wonder, upon seeing highlights of the Mets' 12th-inning win over the Marlins last night ... Fernando Tatis is back in baseball? Wha?...

Media Approval Ratings: Peter Gammons
Honestly, we will never, ever get tired of seeing Peter Gammons rocking out on his guitar. It makes us legitimately happy....

Ray Allen Reunites With Jump Shot, Celtics Win
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who says you should never let friends drink and drive. Or go home with an ugly chick. Unless he has a really great personality. When he's not giving bad advice, he can be found doing the thing at Basketbawful. Enjoy!...

NBA Playoffs: Celtics-Pistons, Game 5
Basketbawful has pulled out some 20-sided dice, a bag of chicken gizzards, and the Skull of Destiny to give you the inside skinny on tonight's NBA playoff game. (And there's one skinny thing that had better not be at the game...)...

Carlos Guillen Would Like To Borrow Your Cooling Ointment And A Large Cushion
Anyone who's ever had the misfortune of being stricken with a dreaded hemorrhoid flare-up can attest to how painful it is. When it first appears, the general swamp ass-y, hiney spider feeling reaches about a "5" on the uncomforability scale. But the longer it lingers, it quickly shoots up to about a...

Brucemania Energizes A Weary Nation
The only thing we really know about Jay Bruce so far: He likes enormous hats. Look at that thing. You could keep your wallet and keys in there. But other than that he's just about perfect; at least according to Reds' fans. It's Brucemania! Here's how firmly it's taken hold on Day One: Reds bloggers ...

Which Speller Will Have The Best Chance At Bagging Erin Andrews?
In commemoration of the Scripps National Spelling Bee, A.J. Daulerio's Cultural Oddsmaker makes a brief return. Email him to let him know what you think....

Media Approval Ratings: Keith Olbermann
Yes, yes, we know: Keith Olbermann isn't exactly a "sports" personality anymore. (Though he's still breaking sports news from time to time.) But Olbermann not only still does plenty of sports — it just doesn't seem like it right now, because the NFL's in the offseason and the politics world, most de...

Boston Getting A Head Start On The Head Start Memorabilia
Just to appropriately taunt the sporting dieties — Patriots style — this T-shirt has officially been on racks. We're not sure what this says about Deadspin readers, but three different people sent this to us over the weekend from the same ESPN Store at Disneyworld in Orlando....

Vince Young Talks About His Rebound From NFL Joylessness
Well, Vince Young is having himself an active offseason so far. First, he had to explain himself and apologize for that shirtless night out with his Texas cronies and, now, he's admitting that the pressures of the NFL almost drove him to retire after his first season....

Media Approval Ratings: Marv Albert
Whatever your thoughts on Marv Albert, it's rather impossible to deny that he is resilient. Honestly, it was only 11 years ago when those whole biting charges came around. We really thought he was done. Toast. Over. We mean, look at the Wikipedia wrapup....

McDyess Listens To Voices In Head, Kills Celtics
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who was in no way, shape or form ready for a playoff explosion from McDyess. But hey, nobody expects a Spanish Inquisition, right? When he's not puzzling until his puzzler is sore, he can be found eating a burrito as big as his head at Basketbawful. Enjoy!...

Remembering, On Memorial Day
It's Memorial Day, and, like most of you, we're off until tomorrow. As our one post today, as tradition, we remember Pat Tillman, along with all veterans, and honor all those still serving. If you need something to read today and reflect, here's Gary Smith's outstanding Tillman story from a couple ...